Chance
by CherokeeRose713
Summary: *I don't own the characters of TWD* (Bethyl) (AU) (Slow Burn)(M for Sex/Language/Drug use) (Other TWD characters) (No apocalypse/walkers) Daryl Dixon lives in his brother's shadow. He wants to change his life for the better. When Beth Greene crosses his path, he realizes he might stand a chance.
1. Chapter 1

The hot water pours over me. I place my hands against the wall of the shower. It's been a fucked up day. Shit, been a fucked up week. I take a deep breath an' reach out for my body wash, pourin' it in my hands. I run the soap through my hair, workin' out the sweat an' grease. I scrub at the skin of my face, down my neck, over my chest. I just wanna go to sleep. My whole fuckin' body aches from all the hours I been puttin' in. I finish washin' up the rest of me an' shut the water off. When I step outta the shower, I grab a towel off the rack. Don't even know if it's clean. Don't even care.

I dry off my body, my hair can fuckin' dry itself. My hand wipes the steam offa the mirror an' I stare at my reflection. I look fuckin' tired. My wet hair drips down my face an' neck. The stubble on my chin's gettin' worst, but I ain't felt like shavin'. Blue eyes reflect back at me, haunted an' lifeless. I turn away from the mirror an' reach for the door. 'Fore my hand touches the knob, the whole thing shakes as my brother beats his fist against it.

"You done in there, boy? We gotta go!"

I'm too fuckin' beat for this shit. Merle spends six outta seven days at that damn bar. On the seventh day, he nurses his hangover. The only income he brings in comes from fuckin' drug deals. I bust my ass to keep this shitty roof over our heads an' all he can do is fuck 'round. My hands rub at my eyes. He'll go with or without me, but he gets in too much fuckin' trouble when I ain't there to talk some sense in him.

Last month he spent a night in the tank after he got hammered an' pissed in the middle of the fuckin' parkin' lot. But none of his dumb stunts are worst than the damn barflies followin' his ass home. I'll never understand how any woman could put up with the jackass. He humiliates 'em, brings 'em home to get high an' fuck, then kicks their asses out 'fore daylight. Guess that's the kinda skanks that flock to that hole in the wall bar.

"I ain't goin'. Gotta be up at five."

"Don't gimme that shit, baby brother. You get your sorry ass outta there an' get dressed. Quit bein' such a fuckin' bitch."

I hear him stomp down the hall. My head falls against the door an' I sigh. There ain't no arguin' with the prick. I step out into the hallway an' head to my room. The door's already open an' the light's on. That son of a bitch musta been in here lookin' for somethin'. I close the door behind me, pull the top drawer outta my nightstand an' reach under. The envelope of cash I been savin's still there. I'm relieved he didn't find it, but I'm still pissed. Gotta fight down the urge to yell at him an' start a brawl in the middle of our single wide. If I make a scene outta him goin' through my room, he'll know I'm hidin' somethin'.

I pull on my boxers an' grab my old jeans. The knees are ripped open, but they're the only jeans I got left. All's I fuckin' own's my work uniforms. I put on my deodorant an' pull a black sleeveless shirt over my head. Grabbin' my pack of smokes outta my work shirt pocket, I hit the light an' close the door on my way out. I grab my work boots up an' sit on the beaten old couch to put 'em on. Merle steps outta the kitchen with a can of beer. I nod to it.

"The fuck you goin' to the bar for if you got beer here?"

"Prettier faces at the bar."

"Fuck you, asshole."

I put on my leather vest. Merle got it for me 'bout a year ago. I mean, he took it from some tweaker that owed him money. But he gave it to me, just the same. The angel wings caught my eye when he handed it to me. I ain't good by most standards but, between the two of us, I'm a damn saint. I grab my keys offa the top of the tv an' head out to the truck. The door creaks as I open it an' dust fills the air when I close it. 'Fore I start it up, I light a cigarette. Shit, just one drag an' I already feel my body relax.

He still ain't walked out the door, so I honk the horn. When he comes out he flicks me off an' bends down to finish lacin' his boot. He climbs in the passenger seat an' we head off. Thankfully, the radio took a shit so I ain't gotta listen to him bitch an' moan 'bout the music he hates. Only takes us half an hour to get there an' the sun's already startin' to set. I shut the truck off an' get out, lookin' up at the sign over the bar's doors.

** Terminus: End of the Line**

Merle cracks his back an' tosses his empty beer can on the floorboard. His glossy eyes meet mine an' he smiles drunkenly at me. "C'mon, boy. Let's go fuck this dog."

Every time I step inside this shit hole, I ask myself why I ever come back. I fuckin' hate this place an' all the people in it. I ain't ever liked feelin' closed in, an' this place does that to you. Merle sees some girl he knows an' walks over to her, leavin' me to myself. Ain't nothin' new there. I glance 'round to see who all came out on a Thursday night. No faces 'round here stand out to me, 'sides the bartender. She smiles in my direction an' I nod to her. As I make my way over, I consider callin' Zach to see what he's doin'. Me an' him been workin' together at the shop almost two years now. He can annoy the hell outta me sometimes but, mostly, he ain't too bad. I pull out a stool next to some old man an' sit in fronta Tara.

"Usual, Dixon?"

"Bud. An' no liquor for Merle."

"Oh, yeah? What should I say? We're fresh outta everything?"

She winks at me 'fore she reaches down to grab my beer outta the ice. I look over to the man 'side me. He holds up a shot of amber liquid, tosses it back in his mouth an' taps the bar with the empty glass. His face's blotchy an' red, his white hair stickin' out at the sides. I imagine that's what Merle's gonna look like in another twenty years. Some sad, old drunk sittin' in a bar fulla people that don't give a shit who he is. Tara hands me my beer an' grabs the glass from him.

I look over my shoulder to see Merle an' that woman dancin'. Least, they'd call it dancin'. From here it looks like he's fuckin' her with their clothes on. I can't watch that damn sideshow, so I focus on my bottle. I may not have wanted to come out here tonight, but that ice cold beer's too damn good to resist. I'll drink just enough to get a buzz an' drown out the shit 'round me. I almost choke when I hear the old man next to me let out a sob. I place the bottle back on the bar an' look at him.

His hands cover his face an' I see his shoulders shakin'. The shot sits full next to his elbow an' part of me considers movin' it outta the way 'fore he knocks it over. I look for Tara, but she's at the other end of the bar flirtin' with some dark haired girl. I'm outta my element here. I ain't ever tried to comfort nobody. For all I know, he don't wanna talk 'bout it. Maybe he just had too much to drink, he could be one of them depressin' drunks. I take another swig of my beer an' try not to focus on him. I feel someone bump into me an' turn to see Merle just 'fore he slaps his hand on the bar.

"Tara! Sugar, pour me a shot of Jack."

Tara acts like she don't hear him. 'Fore he gets pissed off, I lean over the bar an' grab him a beer. When I set it in fronta him, he just stares at it. I turn back to my own drink. If he's thirsty enough, he'll just take it an' shut the fuck up. The barfly calls out to him from the dance floor. He smiles back at her an' takes the beer with him, don't give it a second thought. I'm relieved there weren't no arguin'.

I finish off my bottle an' grab another, holdin' it up to show Tara I took it. She only smiles. She wouldn't trust Merle by hisself, but she knows I ain't gonna cheat her. I watch her touch the brunette's arm, watch the drunken girl bat her lashes up at Tara. That girl probably don't even like women that way, but Tara's too charmin' for her to resist. I shake my head an' go back to my drink. I pull out my phone to check the time when the man speaks.

"You know, I never thought I'd drink again."

I look 'round to see who he might be talkin' to. I realize there ain't no one on his other side an' he probably ain't talkin' to hisself. I don't respond to him. I don't give a shit what problems he's got. Hell, we all got fuckin' problems. All he's gotta do is turn 'round an' he'll see my biggest problem in the middle of the dance floor. I decide to drink slower. Last thing I need's to get a buzz an' have it ruined by some depressed old timer. After a moment, he keeps talkin'.

"When my youngest was born, the missus told me I needed to shape up. '_Put down that bottle an' pick up that baby girl',_ that's what she'd told me."

He lets out a small laugh, it even sounds forced. I look at him, but he don't meet my gaze. He's starin' down at his hands wrapped 'round that glass. I don't know what I'm s'posed to say, if I'm s'posed to say anything at all. I take another sip of my beer an' he don't say no more. Figure he's said it all. He lets out a heavy sigh, turns to face me in his stool an' holds up his glass.

"Well, I reckon since the missus is gone an' the babies are grown, I can pick up my glass again. Here's to shapin' up."

He tips the glass to his lips, takes it all in one gulp. I don't know what else to do, so I raise my bottle an' tip it to him 'fore I take another swig: _To shapin' up_. Tara comes back over to us, hands the guy another glass an' grabs me a cold beer. I look between the glass an' him. He don't look like he needs no more. I'd bet my next paycheck he ain't even gonna be able to walk ten feet from the bar 'fore he falls on his face. He grabs the glass in a shakin' hand an' goes to drink it again. I watch in slow motion as the shot slips through his fingers, hear the small glass shatter on the floor an' I see the amber liquid soak the wood. For a second I think to grab some napkins to clean it up.

"Daddy! What're you doin' here?"

He turns 'round, his face redder than it was a few minutes ago an' soaked in tears. I follow his gaze to the voice. A pretty little blonde walks up to the bar. Her hair's pulled up offa her neck an' some of it falls 'round her face. She's got on little cut off shorts an' a black tank top. The man reaches his hand out to her an' she grabs it. When she takes another step she slips in the spilled liquor. I had good reflexes my whole life, that's the only way I can explain my grabbin' her by the elbow to keep her from fallin' on her ass. She stares up at me, cheeks flushed an' blue eyes shinin'. She looks just's surprised as I feel. I help her back on her feet, don't look her in the eyes.

"You -uh- you alright?"

"Guess I am, thanks to you. Daddy, c'mon. Jimmy dropped me off when I saw your truck. Let's get you home an' put you to bed."

She takes his hand again, tryin' to lead him away from the bar. Just's I thought, he can't take four steps without almost fallin' over. Nearly takin' his daughter with him. I glance back to Tara an' hold up my finger, hopin' she knows I'll be right back. I slip off my stool an' walk over to the two of 'em. I grab one of his arms an' sling it over my shoulder, allowin' him to lean into my side. She stares up at me, wide-eyed an' confused. I lead him outta the door an' she follows behind me.

"Um, his truck's over here. If you don't mind helpin' me get him in, I'll take it from there."

I follow her over to his truck an' open the passenger side, helpin' the old man in an' closin' the door. I turn back to face her. She keeps on starin' at me an' I realize then how odd it must be for a complete stranger to load up your father in his own truck. I shove my hands in my pockets. I feel stupid just standin' out here like this, don't even know what made me wanna help her. She reaches her hand out to me an' I hesitate for a moment 'fore I take it.

"I'm Beth."

"Daryl."

I see her shuffle her feet in those little cowboy boots. I follow her to the driver's side an' watch her get in. She rolls down her window an' starts the truck up. The smell of gas hits me in the face. I hold my hand up to her so she don't go nowhere an' I bend down to look at the tail end of the truck. Sure's shit, there's a leak. I stand back up.

"Looks like your fuel tank's leakin'. Best get that checked out."

"Oh! I'll have daddy take it to his mechanic in the mornin'. Thanks, Daryl."

"Mhm."

"Well, it was nice meetin' you."

She's sayin' goodbye. I realize it's probably the first an' last time I'm ever gonna see her. But I ain't no good at talkin' to a girl like her. So I just nod an' step aside so she can head out. She smiles at me an' I hate myself for not sayin' anything to her. I watch her pull outta the space an' turn left at the road. I glance down where I saw the leak an' wonder how far she'll get like that. I feel like a dick for not tryin' to do somethin' for her, but what could I do in the middle of a bar parkin' lot? I rub the back of my neck. I'm exhausted. I decide to go back in an' drag Merle's ass out. First I head back to the bar. Tara sees me, finishes mixin' the brunette's drink an' comes back over to me. I pull out my wallet.

"I'm also gonna pay for the man that was next to me. He had to leave. What do I owe you?"

"You owe me ten. Don't look so surprised. Your brother's lady friend over there's been buyin' for him all night. An' Hershel's got a tab here."

I hand her a twenty an' tell her to keep the change. I set out to find Merle. Don't take me long. Him an' that lady are pressed back against the wall next to the jukebox. His face's buried in her neck an' he's still grindin' against her. The sight makes me sick. Fuckin' hate seein' him like this. He probably don't even really know her name. But she's playin' him right. She probably knows he'll shoot her up with some dope if she comes back to the house to fuck him. I really don't wanna deal with that shit tonight. I clear my throat. He don't hear me, but she does. She taps his shoulder an' points to me. He looks back.

"The fuck you want, boy? You don't see I'm busy?"

"C'mon, Merle. I'm headin' home."

"Meet you there, little brother. Me an' Denise here are gonna get a few more shots an' then she'll bring me home."

She looks pissy. "My name's Darla."

He laughs at her an' I see his hand disappear under her skirt. I turn away. She's just as dumb as any other woman he brings home. I can't understand how some woman's gonna let a bastard like Merle feel her up in the middle of all them people. But I don't give a shit. I'm too fuckin' tired to mess with 'em. I head back out to my truck an' toss the empty can outta my window. The last thing I need's gettin' pulled over by some dickhead cop 'cause my brother ain't got no common sense. I get to the exit an' head right. When I get home, I kick my boots off at the door an' head to the kitchen. I ain't ate shit since lunch an' I'm fuckin' starvin'. I open the fridge an' see we ain't got shit. When I close it, I stare at the utility bills on the door. That, rent an' car insurance all comes out in a two week span. Also the reason why we ain't ever got no food. My stomach growls as I head back to my room.

I close an' lock my door behind me as I take my vest off an' toss it to the side. I pull the shirt over my head an' undo my jeans. I get down to my boxers an' climb into bed. The mattress is hard as a slab of concrete an' my fuckin' back screams in protest. I lay there for a while, almost consider just crashin' on the couch when I hear Merle an' Darla come in. The two of 'em stumble to his room right next to mine. They're quiet for 'bout half an hour an' I imagine they've started shootin' up.

It ain't long 'fore I hear her high pitched squeals an' the headboard bangin' against the wall. I roll onto my stomach an' wrap my pillow 'round my head as I hear that skank cry out. I don't wanna think of my brother fuckin' some girl in the next room. The last thing I want's to hear it. I reach my hand out to my nightstand an' hit the power on my radio. I don't give a shit what's playin', I just wanna drown 'em out.

I turn it up enough to where I can hardly make 'em out. I close my eyes an' I start to drift off. For some reason, I can't get the image of that man's daughter outta my head. I see her long pale legs, her small body an' pretty face. An' then there were those big blue eyes. I feel myself get hard an' I try to change my thoughts back to sleep. I ain't 'bout to sit here fantasizin' 'bout some girl I ain't ever gonna see again with the background noise of those two idiots fuckin' in there. I shut my eyes tight an' think 'bout the work I gotta do tomorrow. Ain't long after that I finally fall asleep. An' I dream of that little blonde.


	2. Chapter 2

"Pizza alright with you? Fuckin' starved, man."

I walk up to the counter an' toss down the oily rag I'd been usin'. Zach's online lookin' up specials at the local pizza place. I think of the little money I got left in my pocket, doubtin' I could afford half a slice. I inwardly curse Merle for draggin' me out to the bar last night, even if he didn't force the beers in my hand. My stomach growls an' Zach hears it. I look down at the counter an' grab my rag back up.

"Naw. I ain't hungry."

"Don't worry about it. On me. You can buy next week."

This is our usual routine. Zach always helps me out without makin' it seem like he is. Despite my stubborn pride, I appreciate him doin' it. I nod an' tell him to get whatever he wants, I'll eat anything at this point. I stare back over at the two cars up on lifts. Me an' him been workin' on them damn things all week. I can't figure why the people would wanna keep 'em. Pieces of shit cost more to fix than it would to get a new car.

Jim comes outta the bathroom. He's scrubbed hisself off an' looks like he's headed out. Must be nice to own your own business an' come an' go as you please. But I can't complain. Jim's always been good to me an' Zach. He walks over to us.

"Daryl, got a call this mornin' from Dr. Greene. He's gonna be bringin' his old Ford by to get looked at. Now, he's a family friend an' he's helped me in tight spots, so ain't gonna be no charge."

"No problem."

Zach looks over the computer screen, smilin'. "Jim, if you keep up this small town 'No Charge' shit, how you plan on payin' the two of us? We got that little car out there of Mrs. Grimes' that you ain't chargin' for us to fix either."

Jim laughs at him. "Son, sometimes all you need is the kinda people willin' to trade favors for labor. An' Mrs. Grimes just so happens to be married to the newly appointed sheriff. I ain't gonna charge her for a little work. Those two cars up on the lifts will pan out more than enough to pay the both of you. Now, get your asses back to work."

"I doubt the electric company's gonna accept payments in the form of good intentions an' favors, Jim."

He laughs at Zach's remark the whole way out the door. Jim's a good guy. I couldn't have found a better boss if I tried. Zach shakes his head an' picks up the phone to order our lunch. I decide to take a break from those other cars an' make my way out the door to go look at Mrs. Grimes' car. She'd told Jim she hears a clickin' sound every time she turns, so I reckon it's gotta be an axle. But I grab one of the jacks an' lift it up to look under, anyways.

I lay back on my creeper an' slide underneath checkin' out all the wirin'. I pull out sticks an' leaves. Damn, that woman don't swerve for nothin' on the road. A loud engine pulls up an' I reckon it must be the good doctor. I hear a door open, slam close an' footsteps on the gravel. I slide out from under the car an' stare up.

Small, beaten cowboy boots stand by the tire. Long, pale legs are right over me. They lead up to tight, cut off shorts an' an even tighter white shirt. Smilin' down at me's the prettiest girl I ever did see, an' I feel a lump form in my throat just lookin' at her. I sit myself up an' stand in fronta her. Just when I think Beth don't remember me, a knowin' look comes over her face an' she gives me a beautiful smile.

"Well, hi stranger! Guess this explains you knowin' what was wrong with the truck."

She looks 'round the shop yard an' back to me. I feel like an idiot just starin' at her so I head over to the truck, her on my heels. For how old it is, it's a damn nice truck. Baby blue an' well shined up. I step back to the end an' glance under. Already make out the leak there. I turn back to see her watchin' me. I clear my throat.

"Um, go ahead an' pull it up over there in the bay. I'll follow you."

"Don't be silly, Daryl. Get in. I'll drive us over."

I'm surprised she remembered my name. I knew why I remembered hers. I tell myself that I gotta do whatever makes the customer happy. Tell myself that's what Jim woulda said. As I climb into the passenger seat, I know the real reason my ass is sittin' in this truck, an' I glance over at her.

She's hummin' to no music an' drives us the little ways to the bay door. The second she puts it in park, I hop out. She opens her door, swingin' her legs out but just sittin' in it. I'm a little uncomfortable tryin' to look shit over while she's watchin' me. Hell, just uncomfortable with her watchin' me. I look up to her.

"You got someone to give you a lift outta here? Gonna be a while 'fore I'm done."

"Nope. But I got nothin' to do all day. Why? You don't like my company, Mr. Fixit?"

I stare into her face an' the smile she's wearin' tells me she's only teasin'. I take a deep breath an' shake my head, lookin' back at the truck. I'm gonna needa put it up on the lift. I tell her to hop out, but the damn girl only slides over. I roll my eyes as I get in.

Once I get it on the lift, we hop out an' I raise it up just enough for me to stand under. I hear a phone ringin' an' turn to see her look at it, sigh an' shove it back in her pocket. I look up an' see the fuel tank's all rotted to hell. The hole's plain as day. This ain't gonna be no quick fix. I scratch at my chin an' turn back to her.

"Your dad need this thing anytime soon? Gotta order a replacement tank for it. Gonna take a while to get that an' then I still gotta fix it."

Her whole face falls an' I feel like shit for givin' her bad news. That ain't like me. Normally, I just tell it how it is an' leave 'em to figure out what the hell they wanna do. But I don't feel right doin' that with her. She lets out a heavy sigh an' runs her hand through the hair in her rubber band.

"Dang it. I mean, he's got his own truck that he uses to get to his clinic an' all. This is actually mine. Guess I can take him to an' from work in between classes an' just use his 'til mine's fixed."

I look away from the tank an' back to her. I shoulda figured a doctor wouldn't be drivin' 'round in somethin' like this. I always admired a girl who could handle a truck, but it was a much stronger feelin' than admiration I felt workin' over me as I looked at her. I walk over to the laptop an' pull up our parts guy's info. I type in the make, model an' year an' pick out the tank. The cursor hovers over the _Special Instructions_ box an' I look back to Beth. She smiles at me an' I make up my mind, clickin' in the box.

**URGENT ORDER. SEND SAME DAY.**

I hit the confirmation button, send a receipt through the printer an' tack that up on our ordered parts board. I wonder for a moment what Jim's gonna say 'bout the delivery fee, but put it outta my mind. He'd said him an' her dad were friends. Don't reckon it'd bother him too much.

I head back over to where she stands an' grab Zach's roller seat, offerin' it to her so she ain't gotta be on her feet. The smart thing to do woulda been sendin' her in the lobby where Jim keeps the AC blowin' for customers while they wait. But somethin' 'bout this girl seems to fuck up my common sense. I grab my tools outta the box an' decide to start on takin' the fuel tank out. Just's I raise the flat tip screwdriver to start disconnectin' the fuel line, Zach comes in through the lobby door.

"Pizza's here, get your ass inside an' eat." I turn to him an' see his eyes fall on Beth. He looks between the two of us an' smiles at me. That fuckin' bastard. He walks over to Beth an' holds out his hand. "Sorry for interruptin' you two. I'm Zach."

She gives him a small smile an' I'm relieved to see she don't give him the full one I got a little while ago. She takes his hand an' introduces herself. He leans back against my toolbox an' looks over to me again. The jackass smirk he gives me makes me wanna drop the lift on him. He focuses back on Beth.

"So, you're the doctor's daughter, huh?"

"I guess you could call me that. Or you could just call me Beth. Rolls off the tongue nicer, don't you think?"

I look to her face an' see the corner of her mouth pulled up an' her eyes flashin' devilishly. The girl's got bite. I swallow hard an' walk over to lay my tools back in the drawers, purposefully shovin' against Zach's shoulder. He laughs, an' I think it's more at him tryin' to piss me off than at her comment. He tells her to follow us in the lobby. He walks ahead of us an' Beth catches up to my side.

He offers her some food an' a soda from the vendin' machine an' I'm surprised she actually takes it from him. I always thought women didn't like to eat in fronta men. Least, none ever ate in fronta me. It's somethin' I ain't ever understood. How the hell you expect me to believe your ass lives offa air an' water? It's nice to see a girl with an appetite. An' Beth tears into that pizza like a starvin' man. I hold in my laugh.

"So, _Beth_, how's your dad's clinic runnin'?"

She finishes her bite, takes a swig of her cola an' looks at him. "It's goin' pretty well, thank you. He had a gun shot wound this mornin' that needed emergency surgery. That's why I brought the truck by myself."

I take a drink from my grape soda an' stare at her. "Someone got shot? Didn't hear nothin' 'bout that on the scanner."

She laughs at me. "Oh, my daddy's not a human physician. He's a veterinarian. Some guys went out rabbit huntin' this mornin' an' one of the dogs jumped the brush. Guy wasn't payin' no mind an' shot the poor thing by mistake. Right through the side. But daddy told me it didn't look fatal. He should be outta surgery any minute now."

I take another bite of pizza, droppin' another slice on my paper plate. I think of how drunk that man was last night. How the fuck's he s'posed to save anything with the hangover he's gotta have? I don't say nothin', though. Far's I'm concerned, that incident's between me, her an' the old man. I think 'bout what he'd been mumblin' over last night. Somethin' 'bout his wife bein' gone. If he's some hot shot vet who can perform surgeries through a hangover from hell, I can't imagine why she'd run out on him.

Beth's phone rings again. She pulls it out an' I can't see the name on it, but she ignores the call an' drops it on the counter. Zach nods to the phone.

"Ain't you gonna get that?"

"I'd much rather not, if it's all the same to you. I put it on vibrate."

As if she'd meant it to happen, the phone vibrates 'cross the counter then an' there. She grabs it just 'fore it falls to the floor an' I see her shut it off. For a second, I wonder if it's a debt collector. Shit, I ignore those fuckin' calls all day. But she don't look like the type that has money problems. Not the doctor's daughter. She looks uncomfortable now, an' I feel bad that Zach ain't got no sense to know when to leave shit alone. Does it with me all the time. I offer her another slice, an' almost smile when she grabs two.

"You said you got classes? What you goin' to school for?"

She covers her mouth with her hand after takin' too big a bite. Holdin' up one finger to give herself a moment, she chews, swallows an' takes another drink of her cola. Maybe it's 'cause I never seen a woman eat in fronta me, but somethin' 'bout the way she holds herself confidently eatin' in fronta two men fascinates me. An' I reckon we ain't the kinda men she normally spends her free time with.

"I'm at the community college right now. It's my first semester there. Currently, I'm takin' courses to be a veterinary technician. I know my daddy would put me in his clinic today if I asked him, but I want real trainin' an' learnin'."

She's got goals. That also gets my attention. But I ain't dumb. She'd gotten my attention 'fore she ever said one word to me. We all finish up eatin' an' Zach takes the trash back to the dumpster. I see her starin' out the lobby window to the road. I clear my throat.

"You got someone to give you a ride home? That truck ain't goin' nowhere anytime soon."

She lets out her breath an' faces me. "The farm's only two or so miles from here. I can walk it. Daddy's gotta full schedule today, I don't wanna interrupt him. An' my sister's left with her boyfriend for the weekend."

She pushes herself from the counter an' smiles at me again. "I really appreciate you doin' this for me. I mean, I know it's what you do for a livin', but I appreciate the effort just the same."

I can't just let the girl walk two miles home. It may be late September, but it's still hot as hell outside. 'Sides, I know for a fact that the Georgia roads ain't exactly clear of crime. Zach comes back to the counter with another soda an' grabs the keys to his box. I don't know what comes over me, but I slap my hand down on the counter.

"I'm drivin' Beth home. Be back in a bit."

They both stare at me. I feel my face get hot an' I wonder what the hell I just did. A big ass grin spreads 'cross Zach's face. "I bet you are."

Fuckin' jackass. I motion for Beth to follow me an' we head out the door to my truck. I unlock her side first an' get the door for her, realizin' it's the first time I ever done that for anyone. I shake my head at the thought an' close the door after her. I walk to my side, climb in an' fire it up. She don't speak 'til we pull onto the road.

"You do realize that I'll never have enough time in the world to make any of this up to you, right?"

I glance over at her, confused by her meanin'. Her eyes meet mine an' I quickly focus back on the road. She understood my expression.

"Let's see, you saved me from fallin' flat on my butt last night in front of dozens of strangers-"

"Weren't exactly savin'. Just grabbed your arm."

She continues as though I hadn't interrupted her. "You help me carry my drunk father outta the bar an' put him in the truck. Then you spot a fuel leak, which you're gonna be fixin' yourself, fed me lunch, an' now you're drivin' me home. I'll never be outta your debt."

"Technically, Zach fed you lunch. He bought it."

She laughs at me an' tells me what road to turn down. I hear a buzzin' sound an' she pulls her phone outta her pocket. "Thought you turned that off?"

"I never know how to work this stupid thing. I just got it the other day an' I'm still tryin' to figure it out."

My curiosity gets the better of me an' I just blurt it out, "Who keeps callin' you, anyways?"

For a moment, the truck's silent 'cept for the engine. I feel fuckin' stupid for not filterin' myself better. I blame it on spendin' too much damn time 'round Zach. Outta the corner of my eye, I see her look over to me. I can make out her thinkin' real hard an' I know she's wonderin' how much to tell me. If anything.

"His name's Jimmy. He's my boyfriend." I feel my heart drop. I don't know why I woulda thought she'd be single. Girl like her oughta have the whole town chasin' after her. She sighs, then continues,"I mean, he _was_ my boyfriend. I broke up with him last weekend an' he just can't move past it. Turn left on the dirt road comin' up. Follow it all the way back an' it'll put you at my house."

Stupidly, I actually feel relieved to hear she broke up with him. I don't know the first thing 'bout the guy. Shit, ain't like I really know her either. I take the left an' actually feel mad that the drive weren't longer. I'll drop her off an' wont see her again 'til the damn truck's fixed. I sigh without meanin' to.

Today was probably the best day I've had at that damn shop since I started there years ago. I liked her bein' comfortable with me. I realize she was probably just bein' polite. I pull up to the little farm house an' watch her hand go to the door handle. She glances up at me.

"Why, Daryl, don't you plan on walkin' a lady to her door?"

I laugh at her southern belle impression, happy my question hadn't ruined the mood. I hop out an' follow her over the little stone path, up the steps an' to her door. I shove my hands in my pockets. She holds her hand out to me, an' I think she wants to shake again. "Gimme your phone. I'm gonna put my number in so you can call me when you need to. About the truck, of course."

Of course. I reach to my back pocket an' pull it out, openin' the contacts an' handin' it over to her. I see her starin' down the short list of people in my phone, an' I feel a little uncomfortable. She smiles as she types in her number an' hands it back to me. I look down at her name, toppin' the list of contacts an' I feel my pulse racin'.

"Looks like I'm the only girl on that list."

I roll my eyes at her. I don't put women's numbers in my phone. I've had plenty of women write 'em down for me at Terminus, but I usually just roll 'em up an' stick 'em in the ashtray. This one's different though. I feel better knowin' it's in there. An' that's a stupid thought.

The way she smiles at me makes me realize she's somethin' I ain't ever gonna have. She's beautiful an' funny, the kinda girl a man'd kill for. I already know I ain't good enough for her. But I'm selfish enough to wanna try. I place my phone back in my pocket an' look down at her. Her pretty pink lips pull up at the corners an' I'd give all I had to know she'd want me to kiss her. I think of how soft they'd feel against me, an' I adjust my position when my work pants feel tighter. I clear my throat an' tell her bye, then I turn 'round an' head off the porch an' back to my truck. Right as I get to the door, she shouts out to me.

"I'll be waitin' for your call. Promise I won't ignore it."

The smile she gives me nearly kills me an' I watch as she walks through the door. The whole drive back to the shop I think 'bout her. I try to tell myself not to get my hopes up. It's only a number for me to call when the job's done. It don't mean more than that.

I walk through the bay door to her truck an' Zach comes over to me.

"That was quick."

"Fuck off, dick."

"You know, I went to school with her."

I glance up to him. He's almost twenty-two, so she must be the same. Guess that ain't too bad. "She in your class or somethin'?"

He laughs at me. "Daryl, she was a freshman my senior year. It's a small town, you kinda get to know faces. I reckon she must be almost nineteen by now."

I drop the wrench from my hand. Eighteen. The girl's half my fuckin' age an' I've had thoughts that should send me straight to hell. I bend down to pick up the tool, chewin' on my cheek. I can't believe I'm surprised. She don't look much over eighteen, anyways. I rub hard at the back of my neck. Zach slaps my back.

"Relax. It's the twenty-first century. She's legal. Besides, you gotta much bigger problem than an age gap."

I look him in the eyes. What could possibly be worst than chasin' after a girl that'd been jail bait only a year ago? He laughs at me an' continues.

"You shoulda seen how stupid you looked starin' at her. That girl probably thinks you ain't all there."

I grab the greasy rag outta my back pocket an' throw it at his face. "Shut up, asshole, an' help me with this damn tank."


	3. Chapter 3

I slam the phone down on the counter. Fuck. I forgot the parts place only makes deliveries Monday through Thursday. I'd gotten my damn hopes up thinkin' I could fix the truck an' call her up. Was gonna take it to her an' just have Zach follow me there. But Dale already called to let me know the earliest it'll get here's Monday afternoon.

Zach's out front workin' on Mrs. Grimes' car. I pull my own phone out an' open the contacts. I stare at Beth's name on my screen. Should just call her an' let her know the part'll be in by Monday. But I stop myself. I hadn't told her I was puttin' in for such a quick delivery. She don't expect it anytime soon. I'll look like a damn idiot if I call her now.

I grab a cigarette outta my box, drop my phone next to the pack an' head out into the yard. It's almost closin' time. I think of the pay I got sittin' in my box. The long hours fuckin' suck, but damn if that cash in hand don't feel good. Zach walks over to me as he tries wipin' the grease offa his hands. He lights one of his own smokes an' leans back against the shop wall.

"You feel like drinkin' tonight?"

I blow the smoke outta my mouth an' think 'bout it. Most Friday nights are spent in his garage, drinkin' beer an' workin' on my truck or his Charger. He only lives down the road from me an' Merle. We get lit an' I either crash on his couch or stumble home. Mostly take the couch. After last night, I don't know if I wanna go home. Last thing I need's Merle tryin' to drag me back to the bar. But I'm also real tired.

"Naw, man. I needa sleep. After work tomorrow?"

He nods an' we finish our cigarettes. He tells me 'bout the work he's done on that axel job, says Mrs. Grimes plans on swingin' by tomorrow afternoon to get it. He turns an' looks back in the bay.

"Guess we'll finish those damn cars in the mornin'."

"Guess so."

We head in to start puttin' shit away an' cleanin' up. He walks over to the parts board to tack up the order for one of the cars an' I hear him laugh.

"Same day delivery, huh?"

I hang my head. Dammit. But I ignore him an' he don't say no more on the matter. Once I get my shit packed away, I grab my keys an' pocket my smokes an' cash. I glance down at my phone an' tell myself I ain't callin' her 'til Monday. Me an' Zach lock the shop up an' head out to leave. I climb in my truck an' watch as the Charger turns onto the road. I take a deep breath an' pull my phone back out.

Starin' at her name on my screen, I tell myself to just call her. It ain't hard to call the girl an' tell her 'bout the timeframe I'm lookin' at for her truck. Don't see the harm in that. Figure, with her schoolin' an' all, she might appreciate knowin' I'll be able to start it after the weekend. Reckon I'll help Zach knock out those two cars quickly's I can in the mornin', then I can finish pullin' out the rusted fuel tank. I tap her number an' see it start ringin'. I wonder if she'd finally turned it off so that ex couldn't call her.

"_Hello_?"

Shit. I wasn't ready for her to answer. There's a pause an' it hits me that she don't have my number. She ain't got a fuckin' clue who's callin' her. I feel my face get hot an' I clear my throat, wishin' desperately for that beer right 'bout now.

"Uh, it's me. I mean, it's Daryl. From the shop."

I rub the heel of my palm against my forehead. Jesus Christ, Zach was right. This girl's gonna think there's somethin' wrong with me.

"_Oh! Hey, you. What's goin' on?_"

"I, uh, just wanted you to know the part for your truck's gonna be in on Monday."

I feel like a fuckin' idiot. Why the hell'd I call her? Now that I think 'bout it, I coulda just called her Monday to let her know the part arrived. What if somethin' happens an' they don't get it to us by then? Fuck the beer. I could go for a shot of whiskey.

"_That's great! Thank you_!"

I feel myself smile at how happy she sounds. But I remind myself that she's only happy to hear it won't take long for her to get her truck back. The thought buzzes in the back of my mind.

"No problem. I'll call you when it's in." I bite down on my tongue. I'm bein' too friendly. "I mean, if you'd like to know that. I could just call you when it's done."

I'm startin' to think all these years of keepin' to myself an' keepin' quiet's finally proven I've lost the ability to hold a decent conversation. Least, one with a woman. I grip my free hand down on the steerin' wheel. It's one thing when I embarrass myself like this in fronta Jim an' Zach. They don't judge me. Beth don't know me an' there ain't nothin' to stop her from laughin' behind my back. I don't wanna think she's that type of person, but how would I know? I just met her last night.

"_You can call me anytime you want, Daryl. I didn't give you my number to decorate your contact list._"

I can hear the smile in her voice an' I don't even think 'fore I speak. "Yeah. You can call me whenever, too."

What the fuck'd I say that for? Jesus. Course, I meant it. I'd love to see my phone light up with her name on the screen. Even if all she wanted was to ask me questions 'bout her truck. But that don't mean I shoulda said it. She laughs an' it's a soft, sweet sound.

"_I'll take you up on that offer, I'm sure_."

My heart starts to beat too quick an' I feel my palms get damp. I can't grasp the notion that she'd ever call me, no matter what for. I grab the keys off the seat an' stick 'em in the ignition. The truck roars to life an' she speaks again. "_You just gettin' off work?_"

"Yeah. Guess I better get offa here an' head home."

"_Alright. Good night._"

"Night."

I end the call an' toss my phone to the side. That conversation musta taken five years offa my damn life. I never realized how difficult it could be to talk to someone on the fuckin' phone. I put my truck in drive an' head home. A smirk pulls at the corner of my mouth thinkin' 'bout how happy she sounded to talk to me. I don't care if she were just bein' polite. I imagine her talkin' to me like that all the time. When I remember I only got two days 'til the part comes in, I realize it won't take more than a day or so to fix it. By this time next week, she'll forget I even existed.

I pull in fronta the trailer. My mood already ain't good now, an' Merle's bike's out front. I can't imagine what I'm 'bout to walk into. I just know I ain't cavin' tonight. I got too much shit I gotta do in the mornin'. Gotta knock out them cars an' then I can focus on pullin' the fuel tank out. I walk inside an' my eyes fall on the coffee table. I see the familiar white lines an' the razor blade. A rolled piece of paper's on the floor an' one end's covered in blood. My heart sinks.

I step further into the room. Droplets of blood trail back down the hall an' all the way to Merle's room. In the back of my mind, I think of trackin' the blood trail of a deer. The door's cracked open. I push it the resta the way an' see his bathroom light's on. The blood's splattered more in here, probably from him movin' 'round. I get up to the door an' take a deep breath.

"Merle? You in there?"

For a moment, it's silent. Then I hear him grunt an' I open the door all the way. He's propped back up against the tub, his legs stretched out in fronta him. I see the blood runnin' down over his mouth an' to his chin. If his shirt weren't black I'd see it there, too. His eyes are closed, but I can see him breathin'.

"Dammit, Merle."

I grab a rag out from under the sink an' run it under water. I step in fronta my brother an' kneel down. As I wipe the blood offa his face, he starts to come 'round. His eyes blink up into the dimmin' bulbs over his cracked mirror an' then they come to me. They're bloodshot an' unfocused, but I know he recognizes me.

When I finish cleanin' him off, I lift him up an' pull his arm 'round my shoulder. We get outta the bathroom an' I drop him on his bed. Once I swing his legs up onto the mattress, I take a long hard look at him. His eyes are closed again an' his breathin' seems alright. I decide to set his trash can next to the bed. Last time he overdid it, he threw up into his pillowcase.

I close his bedroom door behind me an' walk into my room. It don't look like he came in here today. Everything's right where I left it. I stuff my cash in my hidin' spot an' drop my phone an' smokes on top of my nightstand. I strip outta my greasy clothes an' grab clean boxers on my way out to my shower.

I grip my towel tightly 'round my waist. Water drips offa my hair an' onto the filthy carpet as I crack open Merle's door. He's still knocked out an' I decide it's the best chance I got to get some sleep. I walk into my room, closin' the door behind me, an' drop my towel on the floor. Gazin' in the dirty mirror over my dresser, I look at the scars on my back. There's a reason me an' Merle live the way we do. I pull on my boxers an' fall onto my mattress.

My mind wanders to the money I got stashed away. I've been savin' up for months now. My plan was to get the fuck outta here. Maybe get my own trailer or some little huntin' cabin back in the woods. I run my hands over my face an' press down on my forehead. It's a damn fantasy I live in thinkin' I could ever get away from my brother.

It ain't like Merle forces me to stay with him. For the most part, I only kept to his side 'cause he was my only livin' blood. I can only imagine where he'd be if he didn't have me to help him. I always looked to Merle as an example, someone who I could go to when I needed him. But over the years, his drug use's only gotten worst. Now I'm takin' care of him.

The other reason I stay's 'cause of my guilt. Merle risked everything to pull me outta our hell, an' he don't ever let me forget it. Sometimes, 'specially on nights like this, I wonder what good he really did for me. Instead of keepin' my eye on our abusive drunk of an old man, I now gotta keep watch over Merle. I can't believe I even waste my time thinkin' there's ever gonna be anything better out there for me.

I reach over to my dresser an' grab my phone, pull up her name an' stare at it. I know I ain't good enough for a girl like that. Beth oughta be with someone who ain't twice her age an' half her decency. No matter how hard I try to keep offa the same road my brother sticks to, I always come back to it. Deep down, I know I can't ever leave him. He'd be dead in a week. What kinda life could I possibly have with such a good girl? I have a short fuse an' a temper she ain't ever seen the likes of. I've been workin' hard to keep that side of me hidden away, but what's to say it ain't comin' back?

I tell myself it's better off that she ain't got no interest in me. I'd only end up hurtin' her in the end. My eyes start to burn an' I reckon it's 'cause I'm so fuckin' tired. When I close 'em, I see her face behind my lids. It kills me to think there could ever be a chance that she'd want me 'round her an' I'd have to keep my distance. In the back of my mind, I'm reminded that I'm a selfish man. I'd keep my distance from her the best I could, but I doubt I'd stand a chance if she reached out to me first. I don't wanna think 'bout it anymore, so I let my exhaustion take over me.

* * *

"Damn. Who ran me over last night?"

I finish lacin' up my boots an' stand to face him. He ain't gonna remember anything that happened last night. That's how he keeps doin' this shit. I watch as he goes into the kitchen an' pulls a beer outta the fridge. I hear it crack open an' I feel my self control crack with it.

"Think it's smart gettin' drunk 'fore the sun even comes up?"

I hear him scoff at me. He don't ever listen to what I gotta say. He walks into our makeshift livin' room an' drops down on his recliner. I see he's brought a second beer with him so he ain't gotta get up so soon. I grab my keys offa the table an' look down at the reminder of what I walked into last night. I pick up the little bag of coke an' hold it in fronta him.

"Thought you gave up snortin' this shit, Merle?"

I toss it down on his lap an' he glares up at me. He picks it up an' tosses it back on the table. He starts to laugh.

"Ain't nothin' wrong with a little blow, baby brother. Just a nice little weekend pick-me-up, you know?"

I grind my teeth, clench my fist an' feel my keys diggin' into my palm. I bite back my anger. He's so fuckin' stupid sometimes. I could only hold it back for so long.

"Yeah, I know all 'bout pickin' you up. How you think you ended up in your own fuckin' bed last night? I come home to this shit," I wave my arm over the table. "An' to find you practically unconscious on the bathroom floor."

"Jesus, boy. By all means, leave my ass on the floor if this is how you're gonna act in the mornin'."

This is what I should always expect from him. He don't give a shit what he puts me through. It don't bother him that I'm the one keepin' a fuckin' roof over our heads. I take a deep breath. He don't understand any of it. I don't know how to begin to tell him that I only want him to stay alive. I want him to clean hisself up. I can't do this right now. I got a busy fuckin' day ahead of me. I head for the door but I turn back one last time.

"Don't expect me to always be 'round to clean up your shit, Merle."

I slam the door behind me an' the look on his face is left back there with it as I go to my truck. My tires kick up gravel an' dust an' I don't even bother to look in my rear view mirror. I gotta put as much distance between myself an' this hell as I can. Even if only 'til I come home tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm grateful for bein' so damn busy all mornin'. Tryin' to knock out these repairs keeps my mind offa my brother. Now that I'm away from him, I feel like shit for what I said. I know why he keeps hisself high. Same reason I keep myself busy: Helps you forget. Can't imagine I'll ever get through to Merle. But I'll keep tryin'.

Me an' Zach finally finished up one of the cars, an' that guy already picked it up. The other car's waitin' on parts to come in this week, so I've moved to pullin' out the fuel tank from Beth's truck. We removed the lines an' all the fuel yesterday, now's just a matter of the tank itself.

"You done with that service slip, yet? Could use your help with this heavy bitch."

Zach finishes his write up on the one job an' walks over to me. Need him to support the thing so's I can get the straps off. He gets under the tank an' gets ready to hold it up. 'Fore I start, I run my finger over the bolts.

"Think I shoulda ordered new tank straps, too?"

Zach moves out from under the tank. He looks over the bolts, runs his hand along the straps. "Nah, man. Little lubricant'll take care of that. The straps don't look bad, just rusted bolts."

Figure he's right, so I walk over to the shelf an' grab the WD-40. When the new tank comes in, I'll just use new bolts. I get back under the truck an' spray the hell outta the rusted ones. It takes a little work with my wrench but the fuckers finally loosen up.

"I'm 'bout to take 'em out, you got that thing?"

"Yeah, man. Just do it already. I gotta piss like crazy."

Dumbass. I laugh at him an' finish removin' the bolts. Once the straps are off, he sets it on the mat at our feet. He heads out to the bathroom an' I go to get a smoke outta my box. I start to walk outside when my phone rings. My first thought's that it's Merle, but I know better. He never calls me. Gotta be a debt collector. I turn back 'round an' grab it outta my box. For a second, I think I'm imaginin' it. I stare at the name for another two rings 'fore I finally answer.

"Hello?"

_"Hey, Daryl! It's Beth."_

I'm still tryin' to grasp that she's called me. I hadn't expected to hear from her 'til Monday. I wanna find out what she'd wanted me for, but I see Zach walk back in an' decide to step outside. I've heard enough of his shit on this matter.

"Everything alright?"

When I get out, I lean back against the brick wall. I don't know why she'd call me if somethin' weren't right. Maybe she's in her dad's truck an' somethin' happened to it. If it's a problem with another vehicle, it'd make sense for her to call me.

_"I was wonderin' if I could ask you to do me a huge favor? I'd really appreciate your help."_

Placin' my phone between my shoulder an' ear, I light up. The first drag always feels so fuckin' good, an' I pocket my lighter. I hold my phone up again, speakin' 'round the cigarette. "What's up?"

It really don't matter to me what the favor is. Don't see myself tellin' her no. She pauses for a while. "_Well, I'm kinda stuck at school. My ride, um, bailed on me. I can't call Daddy since he's got his farm runs this afternoon. He always leaves his phone in the truck while he looks over people's livestock."_

I can't imagine what any of this has to do with me, but she sighs an' continues. _"I'm sorry. I don't mean to ramble. I was just wonderin' if you wouldn't mind pickin' me up an' takin' me home? I feel awful for-"_

"What time you need me there?"

_"Really? You don't mind? I'm actually standin' outside now. But I can wait inside until you can make it."_

I smile to myself. Drop my smoke to the ground, grind it out an' head back in the shop to grab my keys. Zach looks up from his box. "Naw. Headin' out now. Community college, right?"

_"Yes. You're amazin', Daryl. Really. I'll see you in a bit."_

I end the call an' shove my phone in my pocket. Zach comes over to me an' leans up against my box. He smirks an' crosses his arms over his chest. "Don't needa guess who that was."

I ignore him an' wipe my hands the best I can. "Be back in a little while. You gonna be alright here?"

He laughs at me. "You serious? I can handle myself. All's I'm waitin' on is Mrs. Grimes to come in. Reckon the rest of the afternoon can be used on inventory an' restockin'. _You_ gonna be alright?"

I look at him. He's fightin' back a smile. I can't be mad at him. He ain't ever seen me act like this. Shit, I ain't ever seen me act like this. I scratch the back of my head an' look out the door. It was easy enough to tell her I'd pick her up. It's gonna be hard rememberin' it ain't more than that. "Yeah, I'm alright. See you in a few."

Keys in hand, I head out the door to my truck. I realize how dirty the seat was. Did I really let her sit in this fuckin' thing yesterday? I open the glove box an' pull out a spare rag I've kept, usin' it to wipe the seat down. I reckon it's good enough an' I toss it back in the box. I look up through the passenger window an' see Zach starin' at me, laughin'. I flick him off an' get in the truck, startin' it quickly an' turnin' outta the yard.

I roll my window down an' savor the cool breeze on my skin. It's been hot as hell lately. We try not to run fans in the shop, so we keep them bay doors open while we work. But it don't help much. We usually take breaks in the lobby to cool off. Cool weather can't get here fast enough.

I turn at the end of the road an' head towards town. I've only ever seen the college, so I least know where it is. I try not to go out in town too often. I feel like the people here look at me weird. Everybody knows my brother. He's been in fights an' gotten arrested plenty of times for him to get noticed. I've always kept a low profile. I know they must see me as trailer trash. Guess that's why I keep to my side of town with the rest of the garbage.

I see the school an' turn in. It takes a minute to figure out where I'm s'posed to go, but I finally see her standin' by the curb. From this distance, I can admire her without catchin' her attention. She's wearin' a blue dress an' them same boots. Her pale hair's down past her shoulders an' curly. She looks beautiful. I'm in my greased up work uniform, sweatin' somethin' terrible. I can't imagine her wantin' to be seen 'round here in the same truck as me.

I sigh as I pull up to where she is an' that's the first time I notice the guy standin' by her. He looks like he's tryin' to talk to her. She don't look too happy that he's there. I see her look over to me an' her whole face lights up. Gotta fight back the urge to smile at her, last thing I need's to look like a fuckin' idiot. I lean over an' open the door for her. She climbs in an' shuts it. I nod to the guy, who's now gapin' over at the two of us.

"Friend of yours?"

She glances back to him an' sits back against the seat. I pull outta the lane an' head onto the main road from the lot. We get to the stop sign an' she pulls her hair up. I quickly glance over at the pale skin of her jaw an' neck, now exposed to me. I imagine my fingers runnin' over her jaw an' down her throat, how soft her skin's gotta be. My mind wanders to my lips fallin' there, to how she'd taste. I shake my head of the thought an' turn down the road. I needa get a fuckin' grip.

"You know, I really wish he'd just take the hint."

Her voice surprises me. She hadn't answered me an' I didn't wanna make her mad. I look over an' her eyes catch mine. I turn my gaze back to the road. She sighs an' rolls down the window. "I told him I didn't mind bein' friends. We were friends first, anyways. Well, Thursday night we were hangin' out down by the old ball field an' he told me he didn't wanna just be friends. Started beggin' me to change my mind an' take him back."

So that was the ex. He looked like every other guy in this town. Blue jeans an' cowboy boots type. I woulda thought he was younger than her, clean shaved like that. It makes me wonder if she only likes guys like him. The kind that ain't ever really got their hands dirty. Probably ain't ever got nothin' dirty. If that's what she's into, there ain't no chance for a guy like me. I grip my steerin' wheel a little tighter. "What'd you do?"

"Told him to take me home. That's when we drove past the bar an' I saw my dad was there. He dropped me off there an' was so mad at me that he refused to stay to help with Daddy. That's why I've been ignorin' him. How can he tell me he loves me, just to leave me like that?"

I ain't sure what I'm s'posed to say. I don't really wanna listen to how some other guy's in love with her. I want her to change the subject. Talk 'bout anything else. Her arm hangs outta the window an' I see her look over at me outta the corner of my eye.

"Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there."

We come to another stop an' I glance over to her. She don't needa thank me for somethin' like that. I feel uncomfortable. Ain't used to no one thankin' me for shit. I nod to her, the best I can do when I ain't got the words to tell her. The car behind me honks an' I hit the gas.

"I'm sorry. It's rude to talk about my problems with you. I'm sure you don't care about that kinda stuff."

Part of me's a little offended that she'd say that. But I don't defend myself. How else could she see me? I can't look like the type that knows 'bout this shit. An' I reckon I don't know it, really. "S'alright. He your ride that bailed on you?"

She don't say, an' I know the answer right away. He'd probably bothered her some more an' she didn't wanna deal with it. I'm the backup plan to get her home. My stomach turns at the thought. I mean to say somethin' to her, but she speaks first.

"I don't have any friends. Not here, at least. My two best friends growin' up are at outta state colleges. Jimmy's the only friend I had left. I shoulda never dated him." She lets out a small laugh. "Now I definitely have no friends here."

I can't picture her not havin' friends. She seems like a nice enough girl. I'd pegged her for the homecomin' queen type. Imagined her with a whole swarm of people followin' her 'round. I chew at my nail. Guess me an' her got more in common than I'd thought. I turn onto her road an' look out to the fields. It's real beautiful out here. I'd give all I got to live at a place like this. I notice the barns an' see two horses out in the pasture. Her father's got crops growin' on both sides of the road. Reckon he'll be harvestin' soon.

It ain't long 'fore I pull up to her house an' I feel like an ass for not speakin' more. I thought she'd climb out an' head up to her porch but she turns in her seat to face me. I lean back against my door an' look her over. She don't look sad talkin' 'bout those things. I figured a girl would take somethin' like that a lot harder.

"What's new with you?"

I stare at her for a second, can't believe she actually asked me that. I shrug. What the hell do I say? She knows I'm workin' on her truck. "Got your old fuel tank dropped. Truck's ready for the new one."

She smiles at me. I bring my hand back to my mouth an' watch her pull her hair back down, rakin' her fingers through the curls. Her eyes turn back up to me an' she bites down on her lip. I can't imagine what she's thinkin', but she looks beautiful like that. "So, it's gonna be done soon?"

I look down at my free hand, my fingers trace the tear in the bench seat. I run my other hand through my hair. I'd hoped we wouldn't get to this, not yet. She wants her damn truck back. She don't care that I'd wanna get to know her or that I like seein' her. How could she even know that? I turn into a fuckin' mute whenever I'm with her. I sigh. "Should have it back to you by Tuesday mornin'."

Her hand falls to the bottom of her dress. I'd tried to keep my focus offa her legs, but the sudden movement caught my attention. It's a shorter dress, fallin' just to her thigh. But it ain't the trashy type of dresses girls wear. It don't look like somethin' painted on her. I look back up an' my face gets hot when I see she's been watchin' me the whole time I stared.

"Maybe I can get it Thursday? I have classes Tuesday, Wednesday an' Saturday. If that's alright with you."

"Shouldn't be a problem. You gonna be able to get to school an' all?"

"Well, Daddy can drop me off. I'll just find a ride. Maybe Jimmy will cool down over the weekend."

It ain't my place, but I don't want her fixin' things with him. She probably don't realize it, but she just gave me the extension I'd been hopin' for. Probably the only chance I got. I drop my eyes back to the seat when I speak to her. "I'll pick you up. Ain't a big deal."

This is one of them moments where I wished I'd think more 'fore speakin'. I meant what I said, but I hadn't meant to say it out loud. She don't say nothin' an' I wait for her to jump outta my truck an' run up to her house. When she don't, I look back up to her eyes. They're a warmer blue than earlier. Her lips pull up into a small smile an' I can feel everything inside of me meltin'.

"I'd really love that, Daryl."

There's somethin' different in the way she said my name that time. Almost softer. I can't place it. I like how she said it, an' I imagine her sayin' it more often. Just like that. But I gotta stop thinkin' like that. I clear my throat an' look for a distraction. I point to her dress. "That what vets wear nowadays?"

She laughs at me. "Tuesdays an' Wednesday's are my clinical days. I wear scrubs, then. Saturday's are dedicated to the bookwork an' tests. An' I don't wanna be a veterinarian. Just a technician."

"Why?"

"The vets have to make all the hard decisions. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at an animal an' decide its fate. But I know I can follow the decisions made."

I guess what she says makes sense. She don't seem like the type that could put somethin' down. I almost laugh at the idea of takin' her bowhuntin'. Doubt she'd like that much. 'Fore I can say anything else, Beth opens the door an' climbs out. I don't wait for her to ask me, just walk up to the house with her.

I think 'bout how she said she don't have friends. I ain't got much myself, 'sides Zach. Jim's just my boss an' my brother ain't exactly what you'd call a friend. The way she talks, she ain't even got that. "You, uh, got any plans tonight?"

Her eyes dance wildly as she looks up at me. I wait for her answer. We're on her porch, in the shade an' outta the heat. But my body feels like it's on fire. She shakes her head no, don't say nothin' an' I realize she's waitin' to hear what I gotta offer. I take a breath an' scratch at my stubble. "Me an' Zach were gonna head out to Terminus. Drink some beers for a while. If you wanna come, I can pick you up an' bring you home after."

I don't know why she'd wanna spend her Saturday night in a bar with two men she don't know, but I know I want her to say yes. Maybe a few beers can open me up some. 'Sides, ain't like we're complete strangers. She seemed fine spendin' time with us yesterday. An' she trusted me enough to let me drive her 'round. I'd only been thinkin' 'bout her sayin' she ain't got nobody. Me an' Zach ain't much, but I reckon we're better than nothin'.

Now I'm waitin' on her. I begin to wonder if it's always like this when you talk to the opposite sex. I feel my heart racin' an' my palms get sweaty. It's the dumbest fuckin' thing. I can't see how people do this all the time. Zach always talks 'bout his dates an' he never explains shit like this. But I guess you don't want people to know how you feel like an idiot.

"That sounds like fun. Call me when you're on your way?"

I nod to her, can't find my fuckin' voice. She actually wants to spend time with me. I don't even care if Zach's there, reckon him bein' with us would keep it from feelin' weird. It hits me that I'm just standin' here on her fuckin' porch, hands in my pockets an' starin' at her.

"An', Daryl? Thanks again for helpin' me out. I really do appreciate it."

She reaches her hand out an' lightly touches my arm. The spot feels like it's set in flames. My eyes lock on our contact. I try to clear the lump outta my throat. "Alright. I'll call you later."

Her arm falls back to her side. I turn offa her porch an' head back to my truck. I look up to see her still standin' there, smilin' down at me. For a second, I just look at her. She really does look good in that dress, an' all of a sudden I don't mind the hot weather so much.

* * *

"Still feel like gettin' drunk?"

He turns to me an' grins. "Hell yeah, man. Always."

"Terminus sound good?"

His expression changes. He knows better than anybody how I feel 'bout that place. Shit, I can't believe I even suggested it to her. But I figured she wouldn't wanna sit in Zach's garage while we work on our shit. He raises an eyebrow at me. "Why do I get the feelin' you're really askin' me to be your wingman?"

I stretch my arms back behind me. Zach ain't a dumb guy. He picks up on shit real quick. I start to clean up my tools an' lock up the bay doors. I turn back to see him still standin' there. "Look, it ain't like that. Just figured we'd all hang out together."

He goes to his own tools. "Then we'll go to Terminus. But next weekend's the garage. I got the new system for my car so you an' me are gonna work on that. Friday night?"

When he turns back to me, I nod to him. I don't ever voice it, but I know I'm lucky to have a friend like Zach. We mess with each other all the time, but we always got each other's back. I head out to the lobby an' grab a soda. He comes in as I take a drink. "I have to ask, an' don't get pissed off. Do you have any idea what you're doin' with this girl?"

I set my soda on the counter an' stare at him. What a stupid fuckin' question. "Meanin'?"

"Meanin', do you plan on this bein' a one time thing or is it more than that?"

I drink some more, buyin' myself time to think on it. I figure she sees this as only a chance to be friends. Maybe it could be more, maybe not. If she don't want me as more than a friend, would I still wanna spend time with her? I think of how she smiles at me, how comfortable she is with me. As much as it'd fuckin' suck, I know I wouldn't stop seein' her. "If she wants to be friends with me, it'll be more often."

Zach shakes his head an' laughs at me. "_Friends_? Jesus, Daryl. That girl's gonna torture you."

"Shut the fuck up, Zach."


	5. Chapter 5

When I get home I see Merle's bike ain't there. Figure he might be at his dealer's or with some drugged up bitch. I go inside an' shower quickly. In my room, I change into my jeans an' grab one of my sleeveless black shirts. I decide to dip into my stash money an' pull out a hundred bucks. I pick up my phone an' call Beth to tell her I'm on my way, grabbin' my keys an' vest out the door.

This is the third time I've driven to this girl's house, an' it feels like it takes me forever to get there tonight. I already smoked one cigarette 'fore I even got halfway. This is fuckin' ridiculous. I ain't ever been so nervous to be 'round a woman 'fore. Ain't like I never been with one at all. Shit, every man has his urges. I bedded down quite a few broads in my day. Even someone guarded as me gets that itch that needs scratchin'.

It ain't rocket science why I feel this way. All them other women were somethin' familiar. Usually friends of the ones Merle brought home. They'd spend all fuckin' night tryin' to get me goin' an', sometimes, I couldn't help but give in. It's been least three months since the last time I had sex. Ain't complainin' too much. Been so damn busy lately I don't think I'd be able to stay awake long enough to get past my own fuckin' zipper.

I'll admit that the first time I saw this damn girl just a few nights ago, I'd had those thoughts. I ain't ever seen someone's pretty as her walkin' through that bar. The way she looked up at me with them big doe eyes set my blood on fire. Spent the better half the next mornin' thinkin' what it woulda been like to take that girl home. I imagined every way I could think to fuck her. In the back of my mind, that didn't sit right with me. But it didn't stop my imagination from runnin' wild. Figured the celibacy done caught up to me.

The moment I pulled out from under that car an' saw her standin' over me, I thought the heat finally gotten to my damn head. It was like she stepped right outta my mind. But then she talked to me. She didn't flirt or touch me or try any of the shit other women did. I probably woulda been hesitant if she had. I ain't exactly one for physical contact outside my room. After a while, I felt myself relax some. Not enough for her an' Zach to notice, but enough that I did. Drivin' her home an' her bein' so nice to me wasn't somethin' I'd expected. She talked to me like I was already a close friend. It felt good then, been feelin' good ever since. An' I wanna hold onto that as long's I can.

When I finally pull up to her house, I debate on whether I wait out here or go up an' knock. It might be weird if I called her from her front yard, so I man up an' climb the stairs to her porch. The lights are on inside. I take a deep breath an' my fist beats against the door.

"Just a second!"

I can hear her movin' 'round in there an' I figure she might still be gettin' ready. I turn to look at her yard. I see a big oak tree with a tire swing in it. There's another barn just over the field an' I see the horses are fenced in there, now. I wonder if there's any ponds out here when I hear the door open. I turn 'round an' my heart stops.

She's standin' in fronta me in a short jean skirt an' her boots. The blue tank top she's wearin' looks beautiful against her pale skin. It ain't one of them shirts where her tits fall out, but it's cut so you can see the top of 'em. I finally draw my eyes to her face an' she smiles. Her hair's still curled, an' her eyes shine brightly at me. I notice she's wearin' makeup, but it ain't piled on like the women I usually see. It actually looks nice.

"Don't you look handsome? You clean up awful nice, Daryl."

Her sayin' my name brings me back to reality. I glance down at myself an' laugh. Handsome? Hardly, but I'll fuckin' take it comin' from her. I feel myself give her a full smile; a real smile. "You look good, too."

She closes the door behind her an' follows me out to the truck. As though it's what I always did, I open her door for her an' close it once she climbs in. I start up the truck an' pull outta the driveway, an' that's when I realize there ain't no other vehicles here. "Your dad ain't home?"

"He'll be home in another hour or so. I left him a note that I'd be back later."

Makes me wonder what her dad woulda said if he saw my ass standin' out on his porch tonight. I don't wanna think 'bout that. Reckon the less he sees me, the better. I doubt I'm the type he'd like drivin' his baby girl 'round.

I find myself lookin' over at her the entire ride to the bar, an' I'm thankful she never catches me doin' it. I pull into the lot an' see Zach's Charger parked in the back an' pull in next to him. He musta already gone inside. I get out an' Beth surprises me as she slides over the seat an' comes out my door, too. We walk into the bar an' it's exactly what I expected for a Saturday night. Place's fuckin' packed. Two guys walk past us at the entrance an' look her over with big fuckin' grins on their faces. This place was a bad idea.

"Daryl, I'm not twenty-one yet. Will they let me in here?"

My eyes stay fixed on those bastards. Gotta watch 'em tonight. I'd almost forgotten she weren't old enough to drink. Wish she wouldn't remind me how young she is. "You're good. Tara ain't gonna kick you out. They got sodas, if you want. Even get you a shot glass for 'em so you can look cool."

She laughs at me an' we walk over to the bar where Zach's sittin'. I pull out two stools next to him an' he turns 'round. "Hey, wondered when y'all would get here. How's it goin', Beth?"

"It's goin' just fine, Zach. Thanks for lettin' me come out with you guys tonight."

He grins stupidly at me, I see the two empty shots in fronta him an' I brace myself for what I've done. "Beth, the pleasure is all ours. Mostly Daryl's pleasure, really. But some of it's mine, too."

I'm relieved that she just laughs at him. I have to fight down the urge to smash his face into the bar. I shoulda known he'd do this. Bastard's probably been waitin' two years for a chance like this. Tara comes up to us an' I see her eyes rake over Beth. Just what I need, my own damn bartender eye-fuckin' her. "Who's your friend, Dixon?"

_My friend_. Least Tara don't think it's weird to see me an' Beth out in public together. But she also works here, so I reckon she's gotta see a lotta strange shit. 'Fore I can introduce 'em, Beth holds out her hand. Girl's got serious fuckin' manners.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Beth Greene. You probably see quite a bit of my father. Hershel Greene?"

Tara smiles at her an' takes her hand. "Tara. An' your dad's a good guy. One of my favorites, besides these two. Dixon an' Zach are great guys, too. Whichever one you're here with, you're in good hands."

"Jesus, Tara. Don't make us blush. You're pretty great yourself."

She swats at Zach's arm an' goes to get Beth's soda. I watch her walk away. She'd said we were great guys. An' it wasn't assumed that Beth was here with Zach. I hadn't even thought 'bout how this might look. I'm relieved she don't see me as chaperonin' these two. The thought gets to me, an' I reach over the bar to grab a beer. I drink it a little too fast but, by the time it clinks empty against the bar, I already start to forget what I'd been upset over. So I grab another.

"I really like her. She's very sweet."

Zach laughs into his shot glass. "I'm sure she likes you, too."

Beth don't pick up on what he's said an' I decide to draw her attention so she don't. I chug back most my beer an' look at her. "So, you like it here?"

I watch as she looks 'round the bar, takin' it all in. She smiles when our eyes meet an' I tip the bottle to my mouth. "It's definitely interestin'." She leans into my ear an' I almost choke on my beer. Her words are warm against my skin. "Do I look cool sittin' at this bar? Even without a shot of soda?"

I pull away an' look her over. The way she's sittin' up here with the two of us, lookin' completely comfortable in this dump, the last thing I'm thinkin' is her lookin' cool. I feel my lips pull up at one corner, the alcohol already relievin' whatever tension I had. "You look good sittin' there."

'Fore I get a chance to regret my own stupid admission, Zach leans into me. "You think I should ask the new bartender for her number? She's pretty fuckin' hot."

I glance to the other end of the bar an' see the blonde he's starin' at. I tell him to go for it, mostly hopin' he makes a ass of hisself. Tara brings Beth's cola an' hands me another bottle. Zach reaches out to her arm. "Tara, who's the new girl?"

She follows his gaze an' turns back with a big smile on her face. "You mean Amy? She's cute, right?"

I tune 'em out an' focus back on Beth. She hadn't reacted any certain way when I told her she looked good an' I'm glad to see she's still smilin'. I chug back the rest of my drink. Gonna have to watch the filter on my mouth more carefully. Not that I hadn't meant it, just that I didn't wanna make her nervous. I imagine if she could read some of my thoughts, she'd already be halfway back to her farm on foot.

I lean over, elbows on top the bar. I tap the empty bottle an' Tara turns from their conversation long enough to hand me another. I take a swig an' glance over to Beth again. She's completely abandoned the straw Tara brought her an' takes the glass to her lips. I imagine what it'd be like to see her drunk. When I let out a small laugh at the thought, she turns to me.

"Somethin' funny about the way I drink my cola at the bar, _Dixon_?"

I like the cute little grin playin' at her lips. I even like her mockin' the way Tara speaks to me. I feel my own lips tug up. "Not at all, _Greene_."

She places the glass back on the bar an' listens to Tara an' Zach ramblin' on. Should feel weird to just sit here, watchin' her watchin' 'em. But it don't. In fact, I feel completely relaxed. I tilt the bottle in my hand, watchin' the liquid swirl 'round through the dark glass. I tip it up to my mouth an' drink it down past the label. I'd had no real intentions of gettin' drunk tonight. I don't ever get drunk no more. Last thing I need's for her to see me act like a dick. But I wanna keep a good buzz goin'. Makes me feel less cautious 'round her.

"Where's the bathroom?"

I look down at her. There she was, the prettiest girl in the whole damn bar sittin' at my side. I look over my shoulder an' see all them men gathered 'round the pool tables by the bathrooms. She ain't walkin' past 'em by herself. I get off my stool an' lightly touch her elbow. Her eyes fix on my hand an' I clear my throat.

"C'mon, I'll show you."

Standin' outside the bathroom, I prop up against the wall an' light up a cigarette. I notice that usual foggy feelin' startin' in my brain. But I don't feel the usual anger that comes with it. Instead, I actually feel real good. She steps outta the bathroom an' I motion for us to head back to the bar. Without thinkin', I place my hand at the small of her back while I lead us over there. She stops short at an empty table by the juke box an' I drop my hand.

"You wanna sit here a minute? Just me an' you?"

It takes a moment to process her words through the fog. When I realize she actually wants to be alone with me, I nod an' we sit down. I lean back against the wall an' puff on my cigarette. She's busy watchin' 'em play pool. I look 'round the room, thankful I don't see any of Merle's friends loungin' 'round. Maybe they was all at some bonfire on the river or somethin'.

"Do you always bring girls here?"

I turn back to her. She don't look upset. More like she's just curious. I take the cigarette from my lips, tap the ash into the ashtray an' bring it back up. I scratch at my chin with my thumb. "Naw. You'd be the first."

Somethin' changes in her eyes. They almost look darker, like the sky right 'fore a big storm. I feel like I'm paralyzed in my damn spot. "Way to make a girl feel special, Daryl."

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the way she's gazin' up at me. All I know's that smile on her face right now's one I'd do anything for. I feel like my heart's 'bout ready to burst through my fuckin' chest.

Eventually, I'm relaxed again an' we start talkin'. Mostly I listen to her. She tells me 'bout her dad an' her sister. Says she's gotta brother, but don't elaborate on that. She don't mention her mama, an' I reckon it's 'cause she walked out on 'em. I don't tell her 'bout my family. Ain't feel a need to an' she don't push me. Instead, I tell her 'bout huntin' an' bein' a mechanic. She follows every word, askin' questions an' seemin' like she's actually interested.

We sit there for 'bout an hour when we decide to head back to the bar. I place my hand on her back again an' we make our way through the crowd. Just when I think the night's goin' fuckin' great, I glance in the direction of an all too familiar voice. I see Merle, an' I'm damn thankful he don't see me. My heart drops at the sight an' I realize I can't let him see Beth. I shoulda known a good thing couldn't last for me. I walk up to Zach an' lean into his side, ignorin' the fact that he's talkin' to that girl.

"Merle's here."

He stops mid-sentence with her an' gives me a knowin' look. Zach don't know much 'bout my brother, but he knows enough to realize what that means. "You ready to head out?"

I nod. Tara comes back up an' I pay our bill. I just wanna get outta here 'fore he sees us. Zach pulls out his cash an' I see him write his number down on a napkin. He slips that an' the money to the girl. "You good to drive man?"

I think on it. I'd had a few more beers sittin' over there with Beth. I'd probably be fine, but I don't wanna risk it with her. I shake my head, then turn to her. "C'mon girl, let's get you home."

She smiles as she slides off the stool an' she walks at my side, Zach in fronta us. I see Merle a little ways from the entrance an' I hope he don't spot us. Just as Zach pulls open the door, Merle's head snaps up in our direction. I feel my heart drop as I watch him eyeball Beth. A wolfish grin pulls at his lips 'round the mouth of his bottle. I brace myself for whatever he plans on doin' an' I'm shocked that he only winks at me an' tips back his drink.

'Fore he gets the chance to come over to us, I lightly push Beth out the door an' we walk over to the Charger. I feel the back of my neck get hot. I can't imagine my brother not tryin' to start shit with me in there. I'm more worried that he didn't than I woulda been if he did. That only means I'll have to deal with it later.

"Wanna take my car?"

"Alright."

We walk up to it an' he unlocks the doors. I go to open the back door for Beth, only to see the whole back seats loaded with the shit for his system. "Dammit, Zach. The fuck's this doin' in here?"

He starts the car an' glances back. "Ah, shit. I picked that up on my way here. Can't believe I left it out in the car this whole time."

I shake my head an' toss him my keys. "Guess we'll just take my truck, then."

"The fuck we are! I ain't leavin' my car here all night. Both of you sit up front."

"I ain't settin' her on the damn console, Zach!"

"It's okay, Daryl. I can just sit on your lap."

Both of us turn back to look at her. She don't look like she's jokin'. Zach tells me to just get in, so I close the backdoor an' open the passenger. I climb into the seat an' she gets in after me. I feel her ass rub against me an' I struggle back the moan. I turn to Zach an' he's silently shakin' from laughter. I'll kill him.

We pull outta the lot an' Beth tells him which way to go. Him an' her are busy talkin' 'bout that girl he gave his number to. I try so fuckin' hard not to concentrate on her sittin' in my lap. Every now an' then she shifts her position an' I feel like I'm gonna combust. I keep both hands at my sides an' clench my fists. If I thought drivin' to pick her up tonight took forever, it weren't nothin' like this.

He gets us to her dirt road an' we take it all the way back to her house. As he pulls up front, I see a big truck parked just a little ways ahead. The doctor must be home. After the near run-in with my brother I can only beg to whatever greater power might be listenin' to me that her daddy don't come out here an' see his little girl sittin' in my lap.

Zach parks the car an' tells Beth goodnight. She opens the door an' slides off my lap. Instead of just walkin' up to her house, she stands there waitin' for me. I sigh an' get outta the car, readjustin' my jeans when she turns away from me. We walk quietly up the little path, an' step lightly up to her door. Her hand's on the handle when she looks up at me.

"Ain't your dad home?"

"All the lights are out. Must be sleepin'. Why?"

I shrug. In her mind, I reckon she don't see a problem with her dad comin' out here an' seein' the two of us at his front door. Far's she's concerned, we're just friends. But I know better, an' I hope he don't ever catch the two of us spendin' time together. I'm lucky not to get greeted by the barrel of a gun.

I'm bitin' down on my lip, tryin' to figure out what tonight really meant. It's all a big fuckin' mess to me. Maybe Zach was right, I'm probably only torturin' myself with the friend shit. I know I want her as more than a friend. I look back to the car an' feel a warm sensation at my hand. It confuses me at first, still tryin' to think through the fog. I look down to my arm an' see the small pale hand wrapped 'round my own. For a second, I just stare at it. I drag my eyes away to meet hers an' she smiles. I feel her hand squeeze mine. She might as well have that hand gripped 'round my throat, it's so damn hard to breath. I don't know if friends hold hands, an' I don't care. I squeeze hers back tightly. I clear my throat, but my voice's still husky.

"Guess I best get goin', then."

She smiles at me as I turn away from her. The skin of my hand's on fire an' I'd bet money there's a burn in the shape of her hand there. I get to the bottom step of her porch when she calls out to me, an' I look back at her.

"Let me know if you ever wanna hang out again. Tonight was really nice."

"Alright."

I walk back to Zach's car an' see him smilin' up at me. After I close the door, I look up to her on that porch. She waves goodbye an' heads in her house. We get outta the driveway an' back on the road when Zach finally says somethin'. "Friends my fuckin' ass."

* * *

I just crashed at Zach's place last night. I had no intentions of headin' home to deal with my brother if we'd both been drinkin'. After Zach drops me off at my truck, I sit in the cab for a minute. I know Merle's gotta be home. He's gonna give me some shit an' I'll have to lay down an' just take it. Can't fight with him over somethin' stupid as this. But I know it ain't stupid. Not really.

I feel my pulse race as I think back to her sittin' in my lap last night, then her holdin' my hand. I'd hoped she'd enjoyed herself, hoped she didn't just say that 'cause she's so polite. I had a good time with her an' hated how we had to cut it short. I think back to what she told me on the porch. She wants to hang out with me again. Maybe this time it can just be the two of us an' we can go somewhere better. Ain't comin' back to this bar.

As I drive back to my house, I wonder what coulda happened last night if I hadn't seen my brother there. She seemed real comfortable with me. We was talkin' an' laughin' the whole time. Now that I think 'bout it, it was the best date I ever had. _Date_. I'm pretty sure she didn't see it that way. So I tell myself we was just two friends hangin' out at the bar. I find myself in a bad mood as I pull into my parkin' spot, it only gets worst when I see him standin' in the doorway.

"Thought I heard that damn truck of yours. C'mon, get your ass in here."

I follow him into the livin' room an' toss down my keys. He walks into the kitchen an' comes back with two beers, handin' one to me. I hesitate for a moment but realize I'm probably gonna need it. I pop the tab an' drink, tryin' to delay the inevitable.

"Who's that pretty little thing you was with last night? She the reason you walkin' in here with your tail between your legs? Bet your damn hands enjoyed the night off."

He laughs at me an' I take another drink, droppin' myself on the couch. I'd turn on the tv to drown him out, but that bill ain't got paid yet. He stands over me, grinnin' ear to ear. "Looked a little young to me. So, you got a thing for little girls now?"

"Shut up."

He laughs again an' walks over to his recliner leanin' it back as he empties his beer can in one drink. He crushes the aluminum in his hand an' drops it to the floor. I'm hunched over now, elbows on my knees an' toyin' with the tab on my can. I don't want this conversation to happen, but I know there ain't no avoidin' it. I take another drink.

"I notice you ain't bring her over to meet Ol' Merle last night. Somethin' 'bout me you don't want her to know?" He gets back up an' goes back into the kitchen, comes back with two beers but neither's for me. He pops one open an' sets the other in fronta him on the coffee table. I don't wanna answer him. My eyes finally meet his an' he gives me that look like he can see right through me. He got that look from our old man.

"Let me guess, blondie thinks you're an only child, don't she?"

I drink more of my beer, then stare down at the can in my hands. I wish I'd stayed with Zach today. I could be in his garage drinkin' beer an' gettin' that system set up in his car. Hell, I even wish my ass was back at work. Anything's better than sittin' here listenin' to this shit.

"That's alright, boy. You give me the silent treatment. All the better for you to listen to what I gotta say." He stands again an' comes right in fronta me. He looks down on me an' I'm reminded of the way our father had looked 'fore he'd lay into me. When he raises his hand, still wrapped 'round that beer, an' he points his finger at me, I'm ashamed that I flinch.

"Don't you ever forget where you came from, Daryl. You can chase after sweet little girls 'til your dick drops off, but don't you ever think you're like them people. Me an' you? We ain't ever gonna mix in with the likes of her crowd." He chugs back his beer an' crushes that can, too.

"So, you go on an' fuck the kid. Get it outta your system now. I guarantee once you do, that girl ain't ever gonna see you again. That's what we do. Us Dixons are like dogs. All we do is chase that female scent. That itch you can't scratch? Best believe one of them females is gonna scratch it for you. A slut's a slut, through an' through. Money an' good upbringin' don't change that."

That's my limit. I can't listen to him talk 'bout her like this. She may be too good for me, but he don't needa call her a fuckin' slut. I drink the rest of my beer an' stand to face him.

"Hey, choose your words more carefully."

I'm glarin' at him, ready for him to raise a hand to me. But it don't come. He just shakes his head an' steps back, lookin' me up an' down.

"Look at you. That girl's gone to your head. Turned you into her little bitch."

I step up to him again. "I ain't nobody's bitch."

He goes to say somethin' else, but I grab my keys an' shoulder past him as I make my way to the door. I jump in my truck an' drive down to the end of the road, far from his sight. I feel my eyes burnin' an' I rub at 'em with my hand. I'd known why he got upset. He's still pissed at how I talked to him yesterday mornin'. Merle only said that shit to get under my skin. An', fuck, it worked. Maybe he's right. She shouldn't be spendin' time with me. But I can't help but think back to last night. I throw my truck in park an' pull out my phone. What the fuck do I got left to lose? I tap the number on my screen.

"_Hello?_"

"You mean what you said last night? 'Bout hangin' out with me?"

"_Course I did_."

"You free now?"

"_Yes_."

"Be there in a little bit."

I toss the phone down to the seat an' put the truck in drive. At this point, I don't care if we're only gonna be friends. I feel calmer 'round her an' more comfortable than I been in years. I look back in my rear view mirror. He's wrong. I gotta tell myself he's wrong. I'd never do anything in the world to hurt her. Least, not on purpose. An' Beth's too nice a girl to just turn me away, even if I did. As I drive to her farm, I realize it's a devastatin' feelin' to think the one person who could save you's the one you should save from yourself.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello?"

_"You mean what you said last night? 'Bout hangin' out with me?"_

"Course I did."

_"You free now?"_

"Yes."

_"Be there in a little bit."_

He hangs up without another word. I look at the phone in my hands an' try to understand his mood. He sounded upset. I mean to figure out what could be wrong, when I hear a knock on the door an' nearly jump outta my skin.

"Bethy, you decent?"

I look down at my shorts an' black shirt. Couldn't be more decent if I tried. "C'mon in, Daddy. It's unlocked."

The door opens an' I see my father standin' there in his farm clothes. When he catches me starin', he clears his throat. "Otis ain't doin' so well. Patricia reckons it's the strain of losin' his job. I volunteered to head down that way, give 'em a helpin' hand 'round the farm. You're free to join me, if you'd like."

I smile up at him. He's always been one to think of others. An' he's a good, Christian man. That's not to say he doesn't have his flaws, but my daddy's the one person in this world I can always look up to. He couldn't disappoint me if he tried. "I'd love to, Daddy. But I've actually got plans today."

His eyebrows raise. "Do you, now? What plans do you have on a Sunday mornin'? The church service's already let out."

That's a good question. I have no idea what Daryl's got in mind for us today. I'm still amazed he called me outta the blue like that. I stand from my bed, place my phone in my back pocket an' walk to the door. Daddy steps to the side. I turn back to him as my hand touches the railin'. "I think it's a surprise."

I get to the bottom step an' bend down to pick up my boots, sittin' on the floor while I slip them on. Daddy stands by the door, grabbin' his work gloves off the shelf. He's always workin'. I know why he keeps hisself so busy. I bite down on my lip as I think of the last year an' I push the thought aside. I don't wanna be sad today.

I walk into the kitchen an' pour two glasses of juice, takin' one out to him. He smiles as he takes it an' drinks half of it then an' there. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand an' stares out the window a little longer. "You goin' on a date?"

I feel the blush come over me. I know how hard he tries to play both parents, but it's still a little uncomfortable havin' these talks. I brush a piece of hair outta my face. "I wouldn't necessarily call it a date. More like me an' a friend spendin' time together."

I see his lips twitch slightly. When me an' Jimmy broke up, it was obvious that Daddy was outta his element. He'd never had the burden of Maggie's datin' thrown entirely upon him. He could just sit back an' pray that all went well. He had asked me what he could do to help me with the breakup, an' I told him all I needed was space an' time to work it out myself. I didn't wanna talk to him about Jimmy. I don't imagine I'll talk to him about Daryl, either.

"This friend wouldn't be Jimmy, would it?"

I laugh. "No. Guess those days are long gone."

He turns to me again, eyes shinin'. He brushes back that nuisance piece of hair from my face. "You look so much like your mama, Bethy."

I feel the corner of my mouth pull up. This is a conversation we have frequently. He reminds Maggie all the time how she looks like her mama, an' I look like mine. I try so hard to not think of the past. I can keep her in my heart, but I had to move on. Mama would hate for me to ache so terribly over her. I was ashamed of what I'd done after everything happened, but I know I've only grown from it. Daddy sighs.

"If she were here, you'd have a better soul to discuss this datin' business with. I know I ain't much help with that. But you can still always come to me if you need to."

I reach my hand out an' gently squeeze his arm. "Mama would be proud of the job you're doin', Daddy. I know she would."

He turns away from me, wipes at his eyes. "I'm glad to hear you've made another friend. I imagine it's gotta be tough always bein' by yourself. Is he a good guy?"

I wrap my arms around my stomach. I haven't had a chance to see all sides of Daryl but, from what I have seen, he's a really great guy. A little shy an' always so tense. But he's very sweet. What guy just helps someone put their father in the truck when he's drunk? Or picks up a girl he barely knows to take her home? He even plans on pickin' me up at the campus two more times this week. An' he's respectful. I sat in his lap the whole drive home last night an' he never once tried to touch me in an inappropriate way. But he'd be too shy to try somethin' like that, anyways. I think it's cute how nervous he is around me.

"I think he's a great guy."

Daddy drinks the rest of his juice, hands me his empty glass an' leans in to kiss the top of my head. "I'll take your word on it. Maybe I'll get to meet him. Whoever he is, he's lucky you wanna give him the time of day. Have a good time an' be careful. I'll see you tonight."

I wave goodbye as he drives away an' sit down on the top step of the porch. I wonder if Daryl would ever wanna meet my father. I mean, when he isn't helpin' him from the bar to my truck. I think Daddy would really like him. He's a hard worker. I know how much that means to my father. I smile at the idea of this bein' a date, like Daddy asked.

I was so surprised yesterday when Daryl asked me to go out with him an' Zach. It looked as though he was about to expire right here on the porch, but it was very sweet. An' I liked spendin' time with him an' Zach. I like that they both can be so nice to me an' that they talk to me like I'm already their good friend. It was nice gettin' to sit with Daryl an' just talk. He got so animated when he talked about bein' a mechanic an' goin' out huntin'. It was a very good side of his to see.

I feel my blush return when I think of how it felt to hold his hand. His hands are much bigger than mine. I noticed the rough, calloused skin an' I appreciated the way it felt. He's got workin' man's hands, an' I like that a lot. But they were as warm as they were strong an' I like that, too. The way he reacted was almost too much. He looked like he'd never held a girl's hand before. For a second, I thought he'd get too shy an' pull away. He did, of course, but not before he squeezed mine firmly.

I glance up to the sound of tires on the dirt road an' see his truck pull up the driveway. He gets out an' walks over to me. Not as guarded as other times, but he still looks shy. His voice's a little calmer than it had been on the phone. "You wanna head outta here?"

"Sure. You thirsty or anything? I gotta take these back inside." I hold up me an' daddy's glasses. I can see him thinkin' it over, his hands in his pockets. It's so sad to see how cautious he is. Makes me wonder if I'll ever see him act otherwise. It'll be a challenge, but I plan on bringin' him outta that shell.

"Naw. I'll wait here."

I shrug at him an' head inside. I set the glasses in the sink an' run water in them. When I go back outside, I see him facin' the fields. With his back turned to me, I can finally look at him without makin' him so nervous. His skin's tanned an' stretches tightly over his muscles. I hadn't noticed how broad his shoulders were or how muscular his arms really are. I mean, I'd noticed, but this is the first chance I've had to appreciate it.

It's only now that I see he's wearin' the same clothes from last night. Same ripped jeans, same black shirt. Even that same leather vest. Makes me wonder some more about why he sounded so terse on the phone. But he called me. He could've called Zach or any of his other friends, but I was the one he wanted to see. I smile as I close the door an' he looks back to me. "You ready?"

I nod. "Where you wanna go?"

He gives me a small smile, an' his blue eyes hold mine. "If I told you, wouldn't be a surprise."

My heart beats furiously behind my ribs. His arms cross his chest, thumbs pressed firmly against his biceps as he grips them. He raises one eyebrow at me, as though he's darin' me to trust him. I smile even bigger as I walk out to him. What Daryl Dixon doesn't know is I meet all challenges head on.

* * *

It takes a little while to get where we're goin', but the drive helps to clear my fuckin' head. Easier to do now that she's here with me. It's a strange thing. I'd hoped for this to calm me down an', so far, I ain't disappointed. Did a lotta thinkin' on my drive to her house, 'bout what Merle said. But Beth don't act like some slut 'round me. If anything, I almost think she likes seein' me. I thought 'bout her, too, an' 'bout us bein' friends. I decided to try to open up to her more. Maybe she ain't ever gonna see me as more than some friend. I know what I want, but I ain't gonna push her. Could laugh at the thought. I'm a fuckin' mess 'round this damn girl. I'm glad neither of us say much durin' the drive. I'm nervous enough takin' her there.

I didn't wanna tell her where I planned on takin' her 'cause I didn't know if it were somethin' she'd like or not. It's probably my favorite place to go when I get time to myself, 'sides huntin'. It's got a lotta memories for me. Usually try not to remember shit, those pains I can avoid. But somethin' inside me tells me it'll be alright, long's she's with me. I turn off the main road an' take the truck on back, tearin' through the overgrown trail nobody'd ever notice. It opens to a clearin' just outside the woods. Can't take the truck further, so I park it here an' we get out. It's funny how fuckin' closed in I feel out in the open with all them other people 'round me but, surrounded by these trees, I feel free.

"It's beautiful out here."

I glance over to her. She's starin' up at the treetops an' lookin' out to the tall grass. I take off my vest an' toss it through the open window. Gonna be hot as hell walkin' down that damn hill. I sigh when I realize I ain't ever changed from last night. Ain't showered, either. Jesus, she probably thinks I live outta my fuckin' truck. I shake my head as I walk to the front an' lean back against it, kickin' my foot up on a tire. I scratch at the stubble on my cheek, down to my mouth an' brush my fingers over my lips as I watch her.

She starts walkin' towards the clearin' an' what little sunlight's comin' through the leaves falls on her. Her hair shines an' her pale skin almost glows. She makes it out past the tree line an' I can't take my eyes offa her. It's like everything out here's amazin' to her. Like I actually did somethin' right by bringin' her here. A breeze comes through an' stirs her hair, makin' her brush it outta her face. She sticks her arms out to her sides, hands just toppin' the grass. It's blowin' 'round her an' she giggles, lookin' back to see me starin'. I think to look away but I can't.

"What? It tickles."

I'd be willin' to bet every dollar I got to my name she don't know how beautiful she looks right now . Standin' out there in the sunlight an' wildflowers, she looked more gorgeous than anything I ever did see. An' she ain't the type of girl that asks you a hundred fuckin' times if her hair looks nice or if she looks good in what she's wearin'. I can tell that right away. She's a rare find, somethin' any man would give every fuckin' thing he owns to be 'round. An' here she is, out in the middle of nowhere with me. I actually feel myself smile an' I walk over to her. "C'mon, girl. Didn't bring you out here to play in the grass."

I almost laugh at the surprised look on her face. She thought I brought her out here to see the clearin'. It's a nice enough spot, but what I had in mind's much better. I let her catch up to me, then I take us through to the other side where the hill starts. The path's pretty damn beaten, so it's easy to follow. She stays by my side an' we climb down. I'm surprised she don't complain none. It's a pretty steep fuckin' hill. But it ain't too long 'fore it starts to even out to the lower ground an' we keep walkin'. She don't ask questions, just stays to my side. When we come to the split in the trees, I bite down on my thumb. I'm so fuckin' nervous an' it's the dumbest thing. For a second, I don't think she likes it. Then I hear her gasp.

"Daryl, this is incredible."

I drop my hand an' smile. We step out to the river bed, our feet treadin' over the rocks, an' I look 'round. The cattails blow in the breeze an' the water flows smooth an' quiet to the north. Whole damn place's covered in wildflowers an' wildlife. The birds start to sound off warnin' of us bein' here, some fly overhead an' out past the water. It don't take long for things to quiet down again, me an' her stand perfectly still to let all of it adjust to us. This ain't like standin' out in your backyard an' makin' nature work for you. Out here, you gotta bend to her will.

Beth steps closer to the edge of the water, kneelin' down an' dippin' her fingers under the surface. I walk to her side an' stare down at her reflection. She's too damn focused on the minnows in the shallow water to catch me starin'. The smile on her face right now's more than I coulda hoped for. I see her fingers lock up as one of the small fish approaches her hand. In her reflection, I see the tip of her tongue run over her lip. She's concentratin' hard on keepin' still. The minnow brushes through her fingers 'fore it takes off in the other direction. She laughs an' I smile. She stands again an' faces me, wipin' her hand on her shorts. I reach up an' scratch my shoulder.

"You like it out here?"

She looks 'round for a moment. I can see her takin' in the trees an' the water. Her eyes focus back on me an' I feel myself tense up, but nowhere near's much as I had other times. Could be this place. Or it could be her. She flashes me a beautiful smile. "Daryl, I love it here! You come here all the time?"

I feel what little tension I had roll offa me an' I nod. I'm glad she likes it so much. I can just imagine the two of us comin' out here more. Could almost picture us goin' swimmin', but I ain't 'bout to take my shirt off in fronta her anytime soon. I'd bring her here to fish, instead. I look over to the old familiar tree with the rope hangin' down from it's thick branch. It's up a small hill an' goes over the deeper part of the water. I nudge her arm with my elbow an' nod towards the spot, leadin' her over there. I watch as she walks up to the rope, grippin' it in her hand an' tuggin' gently on it.

"Do you ever swing offa this thing?"

I laugh at her. "Mighta happened once or twice."

I take a seat at the peak of the hill, just over the drop to the water. The river laps at the clay an' rocks. You could just make out where the side's been carved away at by the water over time. Shit, I'm surprised this whole damn spot ain't gone. Been sittin' up here for years. I look up as Beth comes to my side. She sits a few inches away from me, givin' me my space. I'm torn between bein' happy she ain't too close an' pissed that she ain't close enough. She glances over the edge at the water an' then looks back at me, bitin' her bottom lip. Whatever she wants to say, she's thinkin' hard on it. That makes me nervous.

"What made you wanna bring me out here?"

It was a simple enough question. It's the answer that I'm unsure of. I usually came out here when I felt like the world was fallin' 'round me. This place's far from the world I live in out there. Only people know 'bout this spot were me an' Merle. It's where we spent the better part of our childhood, a place our father's father had shown him. The old man brought us out here to fish or hunt. Least, he did on his better days. After a while, me an' Merle just headed out this way on our own. We'd walk over a fuckin' hour to get here, but it'd always been worth it once we got to the water.

I don't really know what made me think to bring Beth out here. I reckon it's 'cause her an' this place both calm me. I know I ain't exactly relaxed 'round her, but I feel better when I'm with her. At first, I felt fuckin' stupid for feelin' like that. Who the fuck gets worked up like that over someone they just met? But I know I ain't like other people. Merle's told me my whole life that somethin's fucked up inside me. Like I ain't wired like other people. Feelin' so drawn to some random girl like this, I can't help but think he been right.

But I do feel relaxed sittin' here. An' I realize it was a good idea to show her this. I feel less vulnerable in my own element. I want us to get to know each other better. I'll spend all fuckin' day out by this river if it means us gettin' more comfortable together. I look up to the tree an' sigh. I waste too much fuckin' time worryin' over shit I ain't even sure could happen. I'm tired of wastin' time, an' I don't wanna waste another minute with this girl.

"Figure it's real quiet out here."

I'm a fuckin' idiot. That ain't no kinda answer. No shit, it's quiet out here. I run my hand over my arm, tryin' to think of how to tell her what I gotta say. I look over to her an' she gives me a soft smile. Her voice is softer. "You just wanna talk?"

I let out my breath an' nod. It's incredible that she could pick that up. She pulls her legs up to her chest, wrappin' her arms 'round her knees. I feel myself relax again. One step at a time.

"Maggie comes home tonight. I'm happy she'll be back, but I guess it'll mean she's gonna be bossin' me around again."

She laughs. Last night she told me all 'bout her sister. Maggie's older than Beth. I know what it's like havin' someone try to make all your decisions for you. "You always do what she tells you?"

"Ha! Not hardly. But I appreciate her always lookin' out for me."

She's lucky to have that. Deep down, I know Merle wants what's best for me. He ain't got the best way to show it, but he does look out for me. Beth starts tellin' me 'bout her brother, Shawn. I'm surprised she even wants to bring him up. Last night she hadn't mentioned more than his name. I listen as she tells me how overprotective he'd always been.

"Sometimes, I really miss him. You know? But after everything that happened, I guess I can't blame him for leavin'. He calls me every now an' then, but him an' Maggie don't get on so well. They used to, but not anymore."

"What happened to make him leave?"

I feel bad the second the question leaves my lips. It's all over her face that, whatever it is, it hurts her to think 'bout. I look away from her. "S'alright. We ain't gotta talk 'bout that."

"No. I think I want to."

I look back to her, see her workin' out what she wants to say. She drops her hand to the dirt an' runs her finger in a circle. I watch her shoulders raise, fallin' when she lets out her breath.

"Almost a year ago, my mama got real sick. Daddy wanted to take her to the doctor, but she insisted it was just the flu. Said nothin' could cure it other than bed rest. My mama was a very stubborn woman, an' he didn't fight her on the matter." She takes another deep breath an' continues.

"She was sick for almost three months when I found her passed out on the kitchen floor one mornin'. I called an ambulance; didn't know what else to do. Maggie an' Shawn were out with the horses an' Daddy was at the clinic. I was still on the phone with the operator when I ran outside an' screamed for my brother an' sister."

Her shoulders tighten up, an' her hand still traces that same pattern in the dirt. I don't know what to say. I'd thought her mother ran out on 'em. It never crossed my mind that it coulda been somethin' like this. Beth lifts her other hand from 'round her legs an' wipes at her eyes.

"Well, the three of us drove to the hospital behind the ambulance. Maggie called Daddy an' he met us there. I remember the doctors pullin' him aside in a room away from us. He was gone a while. I sat in the waitin' room between Shawn an' Maggie. We didn't say anything, just waited. We sat there for hours but it seemed like days waitin' to hear what happened. I'd fallen asleep leanin' against Shawn, Maggie fell asleep with her head in my lap. I remember Shawn shakin' my arm to wake me up, Maggie sittin' up with me. They'd finished runnin' x-rays an' blood work."

Her fingers stop movin' in the dirt. She looks back to me, eyes shinin' with tears that ain't fallen yet. I don't even think on it, just slide closer to her. At first, I feel my stomach twist when my arm brushes hers. I almost wanna pull away, but somethin' in the back of my mind stops me. I tell myself that she needs me to be closer to her. She gives me a small, sad smile an' I feel the warmth of her as she presses against my side.

"It was pneumonia. An' the infection spread to her blood. It'd been too far gone at that point an' caused sepsis. The doctors wouldn't let us back with her. Then a nurse came runnin' in the room, said my mama was goin' into shock. It was septic shock, all her organs were shuttin' down. The doctor ran back an' in 'bout an hour we were told she died. They'd run tests on all of us to check for pneumonia, but we were all fine."

Beth shifts slightly against my side an' I feel her head fall on my shoulder. When I feel the wetness on my skin, I know she's started cryin'. I wanna do more for her, wanna let her know that it's alright to be sad. But the words don't come to me. So I sit still an' let her cry silently against me.

"The worst part's thinkin' she was all alone in that strange room. That she'd been so afraid of what was happenin' to her an' we couldn't be there."

After a few minutes, she don't shake against me no more. Her breathin' evens out an' she sits back up, pullin' away from my arm. She wipes at her eyes an' looks anywhere but me.

"Anyways, Shawn blamed my dad for not takin' our mama sooner. Maggie an' Shawn fought over that for weeks before he finally left to live with his own dad. Me an' Shawn are half-siblings. Me an' Maggie have the same dad. Her mom had died years ago from cancer. She loved my mama like she was her own, so losin' her was especially hard."

She lets out a small laugh as she wipes her eyes again. "An' I told myself I wasn't gonna cry today. How embarrassin'."

Beth leans against me again. She's calmer now, an' I reckon it's this place. It opens you up an' makes you feel safe. She shouldn't be embarrassed, don't want her thinkin' she can't talk to me. I know whatever gets said here stays with the river. I take a deep breath. "Lost my mom when I was a kid. She'd been drinkin' one night, fell asleep smokin' a cigarette in bed. The whole house caught fire an' burned to the ground. Worst part was, it didn't seem real. Not seein' her made it seem like it hadn't even happened. She was just gone."

Beth leans against me again an' her arm wraps 'round mine. She squeezes it tightly an' I feel her words warm against my skin. "I'm so sorry about your mom, Daryl."

"Sorry 'bout yours."

For a while, we just sit there like that. She eventually starts pointin' out things 'round us an' I recognize the diversion. I hadn't meant for today to be like this. I'd wanted us to enjoy it here. But, in a way, I'm glad we talked 'bout that. I'm relieved to think she trusts me enough to open herself to me. An' I'm surprised I opened up to her. The only person I ever told 'bout my mom was Zach. An' that's 'cause his mom did run out on him an' his dad. It almost feels better to tell Beth that. It'll be hard, but I imagine myself tellin' her more 'bout me.

We been sittin' out here for hours, an' I realize I'd best be takin' her home. I get up an' help her to her feet. When I turn to go down the slope, I feel her hand take mine. I look back to her an' she smiles at me. I squeeze her hand tightly as we walk down the slope an' back over to the split in the trees. Her hand was wrapped 'round mine the entire hike up the steep hill. When we get to the top, she hunches over an' grabs her knees.

"Gimme a second. My legs are on fire."

I look over to the other side of the clearin' where the truck sits, then back to her. Fuck it. I bend at my knees. "Hop on."

Her eyes get wide an' she laughs. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, it's a serious piggyback. Jump up."

She hesitates for a moment then climbs on my back. I grab the underside of her thighs an' her legs squeeze tightly 'round my middle. I'm grateful she can't see the smile on my face as I help her shift higher, her skin warm against my hands. I start to head through the grass. "You're heavier than you look."

I set her down next to the passenger door an' watch her straighten up. She reaches down an' picks a wildflower, turnin' it over between her fingers. I get the door for her an' walk to my own side. We spend the entire ride back to her house talkin' 'bout the river. She says it won't be hot much longer an' she wants us to go fishin' there. When she mentions swimmin' I tell her we'd be better off fishin'. I think 'bout the worst of my past an' realize I ain't ready to show her that. Not yet.

I pull up in fronta her house an' she places the flower she'd picked on my dash. I try to figure out what she's doin'. I look to her an' she shrugs. "In case you ever need to remember how much you like spendin' time with me."

I let out a small laugh. I doubt I'd need some flower to remind me of that. We get outta the truck an' walk up her porch. She stands at her door an' stares at me for a moment. It makes me a little uncomfortable at first, I can't figure out what I'm s'posed to do. Her eyes set like stone an' she closes the space between us, wrappin' her arms 'round my waist an' pressin' her head into my chest.

I feel my heartbeat throughout my entire body, my pulse almost deafenin' in my ears. My arms are raised to my sides, hands up. I hadn't expected her to be so forward, but I know I should. Beth likes to be close to me. Leanin' against me, holdin' my hand, holdin' me to her. It only freezes me for a moment, but the warmth of her pressed against me thaws my body. Slowly, I place my hands on her elbows an' let her pull me in tighter. I remember that I'm done wastin' time with her. I take a deep breath an' wrap one arm 'round her shoulder, the other 'round the lower part of her back. I feel myself pullin' her tighter to me an' I rest my chin on her head, inhalin' her scent. She smells like strawberries an' I feel drunk on it.

We just stand on her porch like that for a few minutes. I don't even know why she's huggin' me, only know it feels right. She finally pulls away from me an' stares up into my face. I swallow at the lump in my throat. I recognize the look in her eyes, I've seen it a few times in my life. She looks hesitant an', for a moment, I think she's gonna go through with it. Just when I'm talkin' myself into it, she pulls away from me. I feel my muscles relax an' I can breathe steady again. I don't wanna waste time, but I don't wanna rush shit either. Her hand reaches the doorknob.

"Thanks for bein' so sweet, Daryl. I'll be waitin' for your call tomorrow."

I ain't been thinkin' 'bout her damn truck all day. Or work. Not even my fight with Merle. I know I best get goin', but it don't feel so wrong when I know she'll be happy to have me call her. I step back away from her an' stumble over my own damn feet. She laughs an' smiles warmly at me. I almost forget how fuckin' stupid I look practically trippin' myself up. We say goodbye an' I head back to my truck. I watch her go inside 'fore I turn the ignition. When I pull outta her driveway an' get to the end of her road, I glance over to the flower on my dash. I stop the truck an' reach out to pick it up, bringin' it to my face.

It's a small, white flower. The petals are soft against my fingertips. It looks wrong in my hand, too beautiful against my rough skin. For a moment, part of me sees how it can only remind me that she's too good for me. I set it back on the dash an' turn offa her road. I keep lookin' over at it while I drive home. I'm relieved when I see Merle ain't here. I park the truck an' pick the flower back up again, layin' it flat against my palm.

Maybe it's s'posed to look more beautiful against my skin. Like it's meant to bring out the better in me. I realize I have to be gentle or it'll crush in my hand. It's like Beth's really tellin' me that she trusts me not to hurt her. That she thinks I can be softer.

I roll my eyes an' laugh. Tossin' the flower to the dash, I tell myself I ain't 'bout to sit out here like some fuckin' idiot starin' at the damn thing. I feel stupid tryin' to get some deeper meanin' outta somethin' like that. It's just a damn flower. I laugh again when I realize a girl just gave me a fuckin' flower. I grab my keys an' head inside, shakin' my head at how fucked up I am over her.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but there's been some personal matters that have come up in my family and I had to take the time to tend to those._

_I wanted to give Beth a voice. I enjoy writing as her almost as much as Daryl._ :)

_I thought for a long time on what would be a good place for him to take Beth, and I decided to pull from what I know. The river scene is based off a small spot on my farm. You have to drive a ways back to get there and then you're on foot. It feels like you're cut off from everything else but the river and trees. It's the most peaceful place I know, and I decided to use it in my story for that reason._

_I can't wait to finish the next chapter, it's probably going to be my favorite_ ;)


	7. Chapter 7

"Who's that guy that picked you up yesterday? The same one who got you Saturday?"

"Yes an' his name's Daryl. He's on his way to pick me up now, actually."

I try to keep the conversation light. I don't wanna upset him too much. Jimmy was a great friend from the start, I hate thinkin' it's been ruined because we took it too far. I have to remind myself that I broke up with him, not the other way around. It's unfair to be rude to him. He has every right to be curious, but he's got no say in who I can or can't be friends with.

The sun's high in the sky an' Daryl should be here any minute. I hope he doesn't mind seein' me standin' out here with Jimmy. I laugh to myself. Why would Daryl care who I stand outside with? We're just friends. I tug at the hem of my green scrub top, anything to distract myself from those thoughts.

"How old is he? Looks older than the two of us combined."

I look him in the eyes. Jimmy took this break up very hard. It looks like he's gonna make stayin' friends hard on me. I sigh an' pull my hair up into a ponytail. "Not that it matters, but he's thirty-five."

He digs at the ground with the toe of his boot, his hands in his pockets. Lookin' at him like this reminds me of Daryl. The difference is Jimmy's only broken because of me. Daryl's broken because of the world. I could never dream of hurtin' Daryl. Heck, I never wanted to hurt Jimmy. He was the one who initiated us datin'. But he saw our relationship in terms of forever. I just couldn't bring myself to imagine settlin' down with him. He's a sweet guy, he really is, an' any girl he dates will be lucky to have him. He just wasn't what I needed. An' I feel terrible for thinkin' that way.

We'd been sittin' down at the old ball field where Jimmy's games were held all through high school. It was dark out an' probably one of the hottest nights this summer. We were talkin' 'bout where we saw ourselves goin' in our lives. I was excited for my courses to start. Apparently, Jimmy hadn't been talkin' 'bout careers. He told me he loved me for the first time. Said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. It isn't like he proposed or anything, just spoke about the future he had in mind with me. It scared me to death. We'd only been datin' for three months an' there he was, layin' out my future for me. It was too much. The next day, I called him an' told him we had to break up.

I feel awful because he'd been so hurt. It ate away at me that whole week when he'd call me to get together to talk. But I know the type of person I am. I always cave to other people's wills. If I'd gone to see him any sooner than I had, we'd still be together an' I'd be miserable. I gave it almost a week before I'd see him an' when he told me he'd do anything to get me back, I told him it was nothin' he'd done wrong for him to fix.

"I still love you."

I take a deep breath. This is what Jimmy does. He starts off by bein' nice an' actin' friendly. Just when I think he understands what I want, when I think we can finally move on an' just be friends, he has to ruin it. "Don't do this."

"Do what? Tell you how I feel? Is it so crazy that, even after you broke my heart, I'm still in love with you?"

I meet his eyes again an' see they're waterin' over. I shake my head, rubbin' at my temple with my fingers. It's startin' to dawn on me that the two of us will never move past this. Beginnin' to believe we'll never be friends again. I hear the truck before I see it an' I'm thankful for the interruption. "You should get to your class, Jimmy. Daryl's here an' I'm goin' home."

Jimmy stares at the approachin' Ford, the hurt look still all over his face. He turns to go back to the buildin' an' I see Daryl lean over to open the passenger door for me like he had yesterday an' Saturday. It was the sweetest thing. Just before Jimmy passes me, he stops an' leans in. "I know you don't care about me anymore, Beth. Not the way I want you to. But don't start hookin' up with that guy thinkin' you have to push me away. You aren't a slut. You don't have to get with the first guy that'll have you to drive the point home. I get it."

He looks over his shoulder to Daryl, then back to me. "Besides, you can do better than some redneck who's twice your age. Don't lower yourself to that just to hurt me. You're better than that."

I can feel the tears burnin' in my eyes. I can't believe he'd think that, least of all say it. I'm still a virgin, a fact that Jimmy knows. How could he possibly insinuate that I'm not only havin' sex with Daryl, but that I'd only do it to hurt him? I don't know what comes over me, but I slap him. It's so quiet outside, the contact coulda been heard throughout the campus. I let out a small sob as the tears finally fall an' he brings his hand to his cheek, runnin' his fingers over the red mark I'd left there. It looks like a switch's flipped in his head an' he reaches his hand out to my shoulder.

"Beth, I'm so sorry! I just, I got upset. That's all. I didn't mean it! I swear."

I push his hand away. Outta the corner of my eye, I see Daryl get outta the truck. I'm embarrassed that he had to see that. I step away from Jimmy. "Don't touch me! How could you possibly say that to me? An' don't you ever talk about him like that again. Daryl's a great guy an' he had no problem helpin' me with Daddy last week when you left me at that damn bar!"

I know that comment would hurt him, an' it felt childish for lashin' out like that. I turn to see Daryl looks pissed. He's startin' to come this way an' I hold my hand up to him, makin' him stop in his tracks. That's the last thing I need. "Get to class. I'm goin' home."

I turn away, leavin' him standin' there with my handprint red an' angry against his skin. I walk past Daryl an' get in the truck, closin' the door after me. I watch as he looks over to Jimmy, then back to me. I see his whole form tighten up an' he goes around the front of the truck an' gets in. We pull outta the school an' I reach for the radio.

"Don't work."

I laugh past my tears. "Well, that explains why it's never on."

"You- uh -you wanna talk 'bout that?"

I know he isn't referrin' to the broken radio. I stick my arm out the open window, an exasperated sigh partin' my lips. "I don't think Jimmy an' me can be friends anymore. He only wants to be my boyfriend. I don't want that. I guess it's unfair for me to try to drag this out when it's only hurtin' him more."

I glance over to Daryl an' see him nod. I'd told him yesterday all about me an' Jimmy. We come to a stop sign an' I pull my hair outta my ponytail, combin' through it with my fingers. I look up to see Daryl starin' at me. Even feelin' like crap, I can't help but smile at him. "What?"

"I like your hair down." He looks embarrassed at his admission an' he starts drivin' again, eyes fixed on the road ahead. I'd only wanted to put my hair up in a neater ponytail. Now I wanna leave it down. I feel the blush risin' in my cheeks as I look out my window.

Anytime Daryl compliments me is a moment I'll hold onto. He'd told me the other night that he thought I looked good sittin' at that bar. I'll never forget the way he looked me over before he said it. It wasn't the kinda look that made you feel dirty, like you needed a scaldin' hot shower to wash the feelin' away. It was softer than that. Almost admirin' an' drinkin' in the sight. I have to admit, it was the most beautiful I ever felt seein' him look at me that way.

It's too quiet in here an' I joke with him about fixin' his radio. He just laughs at me. I start hummin' when I look at the dash an' I suddenly stop. The flower I gave him's still sittin' there. It surprises me, I hadn't noticed it yesterday. I reach out an' pick it up. "You really kept this in here?"

There's a long pause, but he knows what I mean. It's hard to read his expression when he isn't lookin' right at me, but he gives me a small nod. "Mhm."

"Why?"

He's got one hand on the wheel, the other's brushin' over his lips. He's thinkin'. He glances at me an' shrugs, lookin' straight ahead again. I laugh at him. The little flower's startin' to wilt slightly from the sun. I'd told him to keep it to remind him of me an' he actually kept it. A warm feelin' rushes through me an' I gently set the flower back where it was. Daryl really was a sweet guy. I don't even fight back the dumb smile workin' at my lips.

The rest of the ride home is pretty quiet. It gives me time to think about what Jimmy said. He was wrong. I'd never deliberately do anything stupid just to push him away. I peek over at Daryl an' I'm grateful he's still lookin' ahead. I'd be lyin' to myself if I said I wasn't attracted to him. He's gorgeous in that broken, mysterious kinda way. I know he's affected by me, but I doubt it's the same as I feel around him. I think he's just shy in general.

When we first started talkin' an' hangin' out, I'd told myself it was just that: the two of us becomin' friends. But it slowly started to feel like more in my mind. Even if I was the only one who saw it. I feel like Sunday was a turnin' point. I'd actually opened up to him, an' he opened up to me, even though it was just a little. I could tell it was more than he'd originally planned on. I keep tellin' myself that he probably sees me as some kid, some little sister figure. It hurts, but at the same time I'm still glad he wants to see me.

I feel the truck stop an' look around. I hadn't realized we already turned down my road. Now we're sittin' in my front yard. I open the door an' walk to the front of the truck, waitin' for him to climb out. I enjoy us walkin' to my door together. Almost feels like a date.

"You glad to get your truck back tomorrow?"

"Absolutely! Bet you'll be glad you don't have to drive me around anymore."

He doesn't say anything, just follows me up the steps to my door. I lean back against the frame an' look up at him. His eyes show he's workin' somethin' over, I just can't tell what. He scratches his arm. "Don't mind drivin' you. Ain't nothin', really."

I smile. I knew he liked spendin' time with me. I reach out an' gently shove him. "What're you gonna do now that I'll be drivin' myself home from school?"

He shrugs, a small smile pullin' at the corner of his lips. It's the kind that could shatter a woman's heart into a million tiny pieces. "Work."

I lean in an' hug him, just like I did yesterday when he dropped me off. His body's firm against mine. Even through his work shirt, I can feel each tight muscle. Slowly, his arms wrap around me. I'm startin' to chip away at that wall of his. I just know it. I gaze up at him, probably lookin' like some dumbstruck girl. "I'm still gonna see you, aren't I?"

I'd spent my time alone since Sunday night wonderin' what would happen come Thursday. It made me worry that this arrangement was the only thing keepin' him around. He drops his arms from my side an' I step back to look him over. He rubs at his neck an' nods, lookin' at his boots. "Course. If you still wanna hang out."

It's what I wanted to hear. Even if he did sound shy an' didn't put it in so many words. I feel a big, stupid grin split my face. I hug him again, squeezin' him tightly. In my own excitement, I decide to throw caution to the wind. Standin' on my toes, I lightly kiss his cheek. The stubble scratches at my lips an' I pull back before I get too carried away an' take it any further. A friend can kiss your cheek. It doesn't have to mean more than that, so it shouldn't scare him away.

I step back an' grip the doorknob. He looks frozen to the spot. One hand shoved in his pocket, the other brushes over where my lips had been. The surprise on his face's the cutest thing I'd ever seen an' I can't hold back the giggle. "Guess you best head off to work, then. I'll see you tomorrow."

That small smile starts to tug at his mouth again an' I feel my heart kick. He drops his hand to his side an' nods, tellin' me goodbye as he turns away. I walk inside an' close the door, watchin' him from the window. He doesn't see me from the truck. I watch as he gets in an' starts it. He reaches over an' picks the flower up, studyin' it in his hands an' glancin' back up to the porch. After a moment, a full smile spreads across his face as he sets the flower back an' drives off.

* * *

My tongue tips the cigarette between my lips as I glance up at the sky. The sun ain't been out all fuckin' day. I can just make out the storm clouds 'bout a mile away. I blow the smoke outta my mouth an' look over to Zach. He's still balls deep in that fuckin' cell phone. I roll my eyes an' inhale again. Damn boy's been on that phone all fuckin' week with that girl. I watch him smile at somethin' on the screen, tappin' ash offa his cigarette.

"The fuck's so funny?"

He looks up to me an' it's like he's seein' me for the first time today. Honestly, he ain't looked up from the damn thing much at all. Wouldn't be surprised if it were the first time. He shrugs, puttin' his cigarette back to his lips. "Just textin' Amy."

I puff on my own cigarette an' reach back to pull my phone outta my pocket. Almost closin' time an' I gotta get Beth's truck over to her. She'd been happy when I called her Monday after the part got in. The last two days I been pickin' her up from school an' takin' her home. We've talked some more. Nothin' serious like Sunday by the river, but we're gettin' to know each other better. She'd told me 'bout that ex an' what really happened.

When I saw her with him outside the school yesterday, it made me nervous. She'd said he was a nice guy. I'd been worried he'd talk her into takin' him back. Then I saw her slap him an' him reach his hand to her. I didn't know what was goin' on, I only know I'd seen red. I got outta my truck an' was ready to lay his fuckin' ass out when she held her hand up to stop me. I'd bit down on the inside of my cheek an' focused on calmin' myself. If she didn't want me to step in I had to just stand back. It nearly killed me. But she came my way an' got in the truck. When I looked over at that boy, I had to fight back the urges runnin' through me. Told myself she handled it an' to leave it at that. I'd taken a deep breath an' got back in the truck.

'Side from that, I liked seein' her the last two days, even for just half an hour. Took all I had not to go see her Monday after work. I figured she'd get tired of seein' me all the time. I ended up takin' Merle to the bar an' watchin' his ass all night. Shit, he'd even asked me to take him. Usually he just busts in my room an' throws my keys at me. Or tries to beat down my bathroom door. Me an' him ain't talked much since Sunday mornin'. Part of me feels bad. He's an asshole, but he's still my brother. Then I remember why we weren't talkin', what he'd said to me, an' I'm almost thankful for the silence.

Zach's phone goes off again an' I drop my cigarette to the ground. Grindin' it into the gravel, I look over at him. "You followin' me to Beth's after we lock up, right?"

He stops typin' an' looks back up to me. The look on his face says it all. That dumbass. Course he fuckin' forgot. "Seriously?"

"Fuck, man! I told Amy I'd pick her up on my way outta here. She's the opposite direction."

I rub the back of my neck. I don't wanna be mad at him, but I can't help feelin' irritated. It ain't like him to forget somethin' so easily. We talked 'bout this all afternoon Monday when I was installin' the new fuel tank. He said he'd follow me in his car to her place. After I dropped her truck off, he was gonna swing me back to the shop to grab mine. Fuck it. "Thanks a lot, dick. I'll just get her to give me a ride back here."

He nods, still starin' at his phone as he puts out his smoke an' we head back in the shop to clean up. Jim already left for a vacation with his family an' he ain't gonna be back 'til Tuesday. I'm glad he don't mind leavin' us to ourselves here. Ain't like we'd ever do nothin' to fuck it up. But it's nice, just the same. Zach grabs some Oil-Dri an' starts spreadin' it over the oil that spilled earlier. That busted ass fuckin' car. Every time we think it's done, somethin' else happens. Can't get that thing outta here soon enough.

"I swear to God, that guy just needs to blow this fuckin' car up. Make it look accidental an' use the insurance money to get somethin' that ain't such a piece of shit!"

I laugh at him, but it's the fuckin' truth. Shit, there's only so much two mechanics can do to make your damn beater last another hundred miles. He's fuckin' stupid to dump money in the damn thing. I start grabbin' up the loose bolts an' washers offa the floor. "Where you an' Amy goin'?"

"Terminus."

I drop the pieces in their bins an' wipe my hands down my shirt. If he's only droppin' her off at work, he could swing by Beth's to pick me up after. "You takin' her to work?"

"Nah. It's her night off."

I laugh. "So you're takin' her on a date to the bar she works at? You're a fuckin' jackass."

Zach laughs at me an' brings the bucket over, puttin' it back under the shelf. "Shit. She gets that employee discount or whatever the fuck you'd call it. I ain't gonna take her somewhere I actually gotta pay good money. We ain't that close, yet."

He pumps some GoJo in his hands an' starts workin' at cleanin' the grease offa his arms. I finish packin' up my tools an' start cleanin' my own damn skin. It takes so long to scrub at the fuckin' grease an' it ain't even like it all comes off. Our skin's got permanent stains. There ain't no denyin' what me an' him do for a livin'. We go to the sink to rinse the soap off.

"You plan on takin' Beth out tonight? Y'all could meet us at the bar. Can't promise any discounts, though." He starts dryin' his arms an' faces me. "Unless you think Beth's gonna flash Tara her tits. That'll get you a few free drinks."

I punch his arm an' he laughs at me. Prick. I rip some shop towels offa the roll an' wipe at my hands an' arms. Like I thought, still got grease on 'em. I ball up the towels an' toss 'em in the trash. The last place I plan on takin' her's that bar. "Naw. Figured I'd ask her if she wants to do somethin' tomorrow night."

"No fuckin' way! Me an' you are puttin' the system in my car." He points to his chest. "Wingman an' DD last weekend, remember?"

Shit. Now I really can't feel mad 'bout him forgettin' he was my ride. Can't believe I'd forgotten 'bout that. I scratch my chin. "Yeah, you're right. I'll be there."

That damn phone goes off again an' his fingers move like lightenin' over the screen. I pull out my own phone an' text Beth to let her know I'm 'bout to head out. It's strange, I don't text no one for nothin'. Not even Zach. Beth texted me Tuesday mornin' to tell me the times she got outta school, an' we been back an' forth since. But we ain't as bad as Zach an' Amy. When I think 'bout it, it's actually easier just textin' her. I don't gotta worry 'bout stumblin' over my words or soundin' like an idiot. I miss hearin' her voice, though.

"You should bring Beth to my place tomorrow. Her an' Amy can hang out while we work."

It ain't a bad idea. From what he's told me, Amy seems like a nice girl. Beth said she ain't got friends, so she might like gettin' to know another girl. 'Sides, I'd like to hang out with her tomorrow, even if him an' Amy are there. I'm glad Zach ain't one of them jackasses that don't like women bein' 'round. He don't care if they hang out with us. I'm a little surprised he wants Amy to get to know Beth, though.

"You an' Amy gettin' serious or somethin'?"

"Hell no! I mean, I like her an' all. She's hot as hell an' the sex is great. But I ain't gonna ask her to move in with me anytime soon."

I lock up my box an' face him. I'm one to understand a one night stand. Been down that road many times. But that don't seem to be the case with 'em. Seems more to it than that if they're spendin' every second of the day blowin' up each others fuckin' phones. He ain't known her one week an' he's already fucked her. He can't be serious. He smirks at me. "What?"

"Ain't that a little fast? Y'all just met Saturday."

He laughs at me an' goes to lock the doors. "Jesus, Daryl. It ain't the 1800's. I don't gotta court a girl for five fuckin' years 'fore she can show me her damn ankle."

After he's locked up, he turns back to me. "You mean you an' Beth ain't done it yet?"

I feel my skin get hot. I don't wanna talk 'bout me an' her. Least, not 'bout that. Zach don't know how guarded I am. It ain't too hard for me to be open 'round him. But it took almost two months to get me to hold a fuckin' conversation with him after he started here. He'd thought I didn't like him at the time. I ain't 'bout to tell him that I'm just gettin' comfortable with her holdin' my hand an' huggin' me. Definitely ain't gonna tell him how her kissin' my cheek yesterday nearly knocked me on my ass. This is fuckin' ridiculous. 'Specially since me an' her are only friends. He smiles at me.

"Oh, right. _Friends. _Hey, there ain't nothin' wrong with that. Look at you, a man of honor."

I shake my head. "Don't make me beat the shit outta you."

He laughs at me. "You wouldn't if you could, dick. You love me like a brother."

"If you were my brother, I woulda smothered you in your fuckin' crib."

He laughs again an' locks his own box. We go out through the door to the lobby an' shut everything down. I make sure I got my keys in my pocket an' I grab hers from the counter. Zach follows me outside an' I lock the door. We head out to the cars. "Shit, bet you'll be glad you ain't playin' _Drivin' Miss Daisy_ no more."

I actually don't mind drivin' Beth 'round. I'd been lookin' forward to it the last few days. Now she ain't gonna need me to do it, makes me wonder how often I'll see her. I'm chewin' on my cheek, leaned against the tailgate. I don't wanna think she'll stop talkin' to me. Shit, she's the one who asked me yesterday if we'd still hang out. I tell myself we've come a good ways as friends an' can't see her just fallin' offa the face of the earth. I glance back up to Zach an' he gives me his knowin' grin. His hand slaps the side of the truck.

"We could always fuck this fuel tank up, if you want. That'll buy you least another week."

I laugh at him an' tell him I'll see him in the mornin'. I get in the truck an' turn it on, watchin' him head outta the lot 'fore I go the other way. It's a nice night out. It ain't gonna be much longer 'fore it starts gettin' darker earlier. I like the cooler weather but, damn, I hate them shorter days. Dark when I leave for work, dark when I come home. I roll down the window an' hang my arm out the side. The air feels different an' I know a storm's comin'. It ain't exactly pitch black out, but the clouds are darker.

After a while, I turn on her road an' nearly have a fuckin' heart attack when I see her father's truck headed towards me. I pull to the side to give him room to pass. I feel my heart sink as he slows an' comes to a stop next to me. His window rolls down an' I'm relieved to see he's smilin'. "Evenin'. You must be from Jim's shop. Everything all settled with the truck?"

I nod. I don't think he recognizes me from the bar last week, figure he couldn't through all the alcohol he'd had that night. He stares down the road leadin' to his house, then back to me. "You can leave that in fronta the house. You got a ride back?"

I nod again. Jesus Christ. I feel like I'm 'bout to drop dead right here an' I'm grateful he can't see my leg bouncin' up an' down on nerves. He smiles at me again. "Well, alright then. Really appreciate y'all doin' this for me. Jim's a good man. You take care, son."

He waves to me an' I raise my hand off the door. I watch him pull away, watch in the rear view mirror as he drives off. I let out the breath I'd been holdin'. Weren't as bad's I thought it'd be. Then again, he thinks I'm just some mechanic doin' a courtesy drop off. If he'd known I'd been spendin' almost all my free time with his youngest daughter this last week, he'd probably shoot me on sight. Friends or not. I sigh as I get back on the road an' continue to their house.

I pull up an' honk the horn. The door opens an' I feel my whole body relax at the smile she gives me. I put aside all fears of her father. She runs up to me an' opens my door 'fore I get the chance. I gotta laugh at her enthusiasm. Even if it's only 'cause she's glad her truck's back. But she grabs my hand an' pulls me out, closin' the door behind me.

"Thought you'd never get here! C'mon, I'm treatin' you to dinner."

She weren't excited 'bout gettin' her truck back. She'd been happy to see me again. I smile to myself as I follow her up the porch. "Dinner?"

"Yep. Made it myself. I reckon it's the least I could do to repay you for the last week."

She opens the door an' I hesitate for a moment. Ain't ever been in her house. "Beth, I'm still in my work uniform. Y'all don't want me in here."

"Daryl, this is a farm. A lot worst than your greasy uniform's come treadin' through this house." She grabs my hand without so much's lookin' at me an' I follow her in. I look up to the steps, back down the hall. There's a few doors here an' there. It's a pretty big fuckin' house. I'd been wrong callin' it little 'fore. I don't get much time to take it all in when she's pullin' me down the hall an' through a doorway to the kitchen. She walks over to the oven, opens it up an' I lean against the counter. The smell hits me an' I feel my mouth waterin'.

"You ain't gotta do this."

She turns 'round an' smiles at me, puttin' them gloves on her hand an' pullin' a glass pan out. She sets it on a pad on the counter. She don't say nothin', just works her way 'round the kitchen. She grabs two small bowls from a cupboard an' sets 'em down. I watch her walk up to me, open a drawer an' grab two forks. She goes back to the food an' starts fillin' the bowls. When she finishes, she grabs one an' sets it in fronta me.

"Homemade macaroni an' cheese. Baked fresh in the oven." She hands me a fork. "Careful, it's really hot."

I take the fork from her an' wait for her to grab her own bowl. She starts walkin' through another doorway an' turns back to me. "Well? Aren't you comin'? Dinin' room's this way."

I follow her into the room an' laugh. She'd set two spots at her table right next to each other. I look at the nice chair an' down at myself. I unbutton my shirt an' pull it off, gettin' down to the sleeveless top I wore underneath. Ain't much, but it's better than I was. I set my work shirt at my feet an' sit down. She goes back in the kitchen to get us somethin' to drink. I feel bad not waitin' for her, but I'm fuckin' starvin'. I take a forkful of food an' shove it in my mouth.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ! Shit's fuckin' hot!"

I nearly spit it out to keep from gettin' a damn third degree burn. I hear her walk up behind me an' she's laughin'. "Didn't I tell you to be careful? I said it was hot."

She hands me a glass of lemonade an' I nearly drink the whole thing right there. That almost made the burnin' worst. Motherfucker. I decide it's better to let it cool down, an' after a few minutes me an' her start eatin'. Even with my tongue practically ruined from that first bite, I could tell it tasted real good. An', 'side from the burnt skin of my mouth, this was actually real nice. It felt good sittin' in here with her. We ain't sayin' much but it still feels right. After a while, we finish eatin' an' I help her clean the dishes. Then we head back outside.

"Zach pickin' you up?"

"Naw. He's gotta date tonight. You mind droppin' me off at the shop? Truck's still there."

"You know I don't mind that. C'mon, I wanna show you somethin'."

She's walkin' towards one of the small fields out past her house where the barn with the horses is. A large tree sits in the center between us an' the barn an' we walk up to it, there's an iron bench under its shade. She runs her hand over the trunk an' stares at it. I follow her gaze to letters carved in the bark.

**HG + AG**

"This was my mama's favorite spot on the whole farm. Said it was nice to sit out here an' read or write."

She faces me an' smiles. This tree must bring back good memories for her. I wait patiently an' she continues. "Daddy brought her out here when he proposed. He'd carved their initials in the tree after she said yes. Isn't that beautiful?"

I stare at the initials in the tree. I'd seen things like that on the stalls in the bathroom at Terminus. I've seen 'em on trees 'fore when I'd been out huntin'. I guess a tree's gonna last longer than some rusted stall. I look back to her face an' I realize why it's beautiful. The moss'll grow an' cover the bark. Even if it grows over the letters, they're still there. Long's this tree's standin', they'll be able to see the initials. It amazes me when I reach my hand out to grab hers. I hadn't even thought, just did it. We stare at the tree an' her fingers lace through mine. It's the first time we held hands like this. Usually she just wraps hers 'round mine. I realize I like this more.

She sits down on the bench, pullin' me down with her. We stare out to her house an' keep our hands together. I can feel my whole body ease up, I even lean against the back of the bench. She picks her legs up offa the ground, stretchin' 'em out 'cross the bench as she leans into my side. I watch the horses run in their field as I think 'bout us.

Part of me knows it might never be more than what we have here. I ain't ever been friends with a girl 'fore, so I wouldn't know. I mean, I'm friends with Tara, but that's different. Beth's someone I could actually see myself with. Someone who creates a small spark in the back of my mind. It's a hope for more. I can't help that one small spark's caused a fire to run through my mind. I just imagine where this could go. But I remember what she'd said 'bout her an' Jimmy. I reckon she'd never wanna ruin our friendship. It bothers me, but I know I'd take spendin' time with Beth any way I could.

"Do you mind goin' with me to get Daddy from the bar? I figure another hour an' he'll be same as last week."

"Alright."

We sit under that tree the rest of the hour. She tells me her sister's picked up the evenin' shift at the clinic this week. She also tells me that her dad goes to the bar every Thursday night. Says Thursday nights were always a date night for him an' her mom since Friday nights he usually worked late. It's depressin' to think he drowns hisself in liquor on the same night that used to make him happy. I guess it makes sense, but I wouldn't know. I ain't ever loved someone that much an' lost 'em. I cried when my mom died, but I was just a kid. I remember everything, just not the feelin's that go with the memory.

"It breaks my heart to see him so hurt. I could never imagine fallin' in love an' then losin' that person forever."

Just's I'm 'bout to say somethin', thunder rolls in the distance. Beth jumps at the noise an' falls back against me. I pull her up an' tug at her hand. "C'mon, we don't wanna be under this damn tree when the storm starts."

Makin' our way back to the house, we don't get more than ten yards when the sky opens up. The rain pours down, almost painfully lashin' against our skin as we run 'cross the field. We get to the driver's side of the truck an' I help her climb in. She slides over an' I get in myself. We're outta breath an' pantin'. I look at her sittin' next to me. She's soaked from head to foot, her hair drippin' down past her shoulders. Her blue shirt's soaked through an' clingin' to her skin. My clothes are equally soaked. I watch her head drop as she starts to slide over to the other side. Her wet hair falls in her face an' I lean over, reachin' out to brush the pieces back behind her ear.

I don't know what made me do it, I just did. I see her cheeks turn pink an' she glances up at me with them big blue eyes. Our faces are only inches apart an' I feel my stomach twist in knots, my damn dinner flippin' uneasily. She's lookin' at me in a way I'd only dreamt of. Least, I reckon that's how she's lookin'. The uncertainty makes me nervous. I quickly drop my hand away an' clear my throat, but it don't help the huskiness in my voice. "Guess we oughta head out an' get your dad."

She pulls away from me an' I can't figure out the look on her face. I almost think she's mad. I musta gone too far touchin' her like that. "Yep. Guess so."

The drive to the bar's quiet, an' not in a good way. When we get there, I follow her inside. Sure's shit, there's her dad sittin' at the bar. I see the empty pints in fronta him an' I know he ain't makin' it outta here on his own. I don't see Zach or Amy an' I figure he musta took her back to his house. I help pick her dad up offa the stool an' he mumbles somethin' to her. We head back out in the pourin' rain an' I follow her over to his truck. She pulls the keyring offa the side of his pants an' unlocks the door, helpin' me to get him inside.

"You can follow me home in my truck, I'll drive his back."

She don't sound mad at me, but there's still somethin' workin' over her face. I nod, take the keys from her an' go back to her truck. I follow her all the way back to the farm, parkin' behind her. I run through the puddles an' help her pull him out. She runs ahead, gets the door an' I follow her back inside. Her dad's leanin' heavily against me an' I feel my wet boots slippin' on the wood floor, but I manage to make it down the hall an' in his room without fallin'. She helps me put him in his bed an' we leave him there, snorin' as we close the door behind us.

I follow her out to her truck an' I'm nervous that she still ain't sayin' anything. I feel so fuckin' stupid that I touched her like that. I don't know why I don't think 'fore I act. I open the door an' she slides over to the passenger side far away from me. I can't believe this is happenin'. The whole drive to the shop I think of what to say to make it right, the only sound's the thunder an' rain. I pull into the yard an' park next to my truck. I turn hers off an' face her.

"Beth, I-"

'Fore I get the chance to speak, she's slidin' over the seat an' sittin' right in fronta me. The only light's comin' from the sign of the shop an' I can see her eyes flick to my face. Lightenin' flashes up ahead of us an' thunder shakes the vehicle. Feels like there's an electric current charged in the small cab an' my pulse quickens with my breaths. She moves closer to me, surprisin' me, an' I push myself back, smackin' my head against the window. This ain't what I'd expected, I'd honestly thought she was gonna tell me to go fuck off. But that look that she had earlier's back. Her eyes are dark as the storm 'round us an' she looks determined. I feel so fuckin' powerless with her starin' at me like that.

This is what I wanted all along but, deep down, it scares the hell outta me. It's 'cause it's different. At first, I woulda wanted nothin' more than to fuck this girl. But that's changed an' I know it. It ain't like I don't wanna fuck her anymore, it's just that it won't be the same. Instead of gettin' what I wanted an' goin' on my way, I got careless an' started to think of her as more. It ain't nothin' too strong, I just like bein' 'round her. But that's stronger than I ever felt 'bout anyone. It's the dumbest fuckin' thing, but that new feelin' inside me right now scares me to death.

Her hands run up my arms an' she grips my biceps as she leans into me, inches away from my face. "I just wanna try somethin'."

Her words are soft an' she sounds almost scared as I do. I nod my head an' I'm ashamed at how small my own voice is, how broken I sound. "Alright."

I feel her knees press against the inside of my thighs as she pulls herself up closer. I put one arm over the back of the seat, my other's firm against my side. Her lips hover over mine an' I swear to god my heartbeat's louder than the thunder 'round us. Her eyes hold mine for a moment an' I swallow down the lump in my throat. Just when I think my fuckin' heart's gonna explode, her lips press against mine.

I'm embarrassed by the sigh that I let out at the contact, but I couldn't help it. Her lips are softer than I'd ever thought an' they're warm against mine. For a second, she just keeps her mouth on mine. Perfectly still. Then I feel her lips start to slowly move an' I dig my fingers into the leather seat. She's tryin' to make me move with her an' when I do, I feel her smile against me. For a little while, we just sit there. Soaked through our fuckin' clothes, rain beatin' down on the truck an' our lips movin' together. Finally she pulls back an' sits up. She licks her bottom lip an' smiles at me.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

I don't have an answer for her. Instead, I sit upright an' move closer to her 'til she's leanin' against her own door. I pull my arm away from the seat an' raise my hand to her face, pushin' the wet hair outta her eyes. My hand falls behind her ear an' my thumb runs over her cheek. The fact that she wanted me as much's I wanted her was enough to shove down my fear an' go for what I now knew we both wanted. I move so's I copy the way she hovered over me a few minutes ago. I hear her breath catch an' when she looks up into my eyes, I don't need no other sign.

My mouth falls to hers an' she immediately starts movin' against my lips. The hand behind her ear moves towards the back of her neck as I pull her closer to me. It's a rougher kiss now, primal an' possessive an' it drives me insane. I feel the tip of her tongue brush over my bottom lip an' I moan. When my mouth opens up to her, she takes the chance she's given. My hand tangles in her wet hair as her tongue moves against mine. She tastes sweet like lemonade.

I raise my other hand to the side of her head, my palm flat against the window as I move in over her. Her hands grip my shoulders. She pulls one leg up an' rests it against my side an' the other leg moves, droppin' her foot to the floor. After a few minutes I pull away to catch my breath, watchin' her gasp for her own. She's completely surrounded by me in the already too small space. But she sits up an' my hand moves from the back of her head to press against the glass like the other. She raises herself to me an' kisses me again. It's still a rough kiss, but it's quick an' over too soon. I pull away again an' sit back. My hands fall to my thighs an' I look down at her. I feel myself smile.

"Not bad at all."

She laughs an' sits back up. I turn the truck to check the time an' tell her I should be headin' home. She nods an' I get out, steppin' into the rain while she slides over. I watch her roll the window down an' she smiles at me. "You gonna be alright gettin' home?"

I nod an' pull my keys outta my pocket. That's when I realize I ain't got my work shirt on. Jesus Christ. It's still sittin' on her dinin' room floor. The last fuckin' thing I need's her dad findin' my damn shirt with my name on it. "Shit. My work shirt's still at your house."

"That's alright. I'll grab it for you. In the dinin' room?"

I nod. I look over to my truck then back at her. "You wanna hang out tomorrow night? I'm gonna help Zach with his car. Amy's gonna be there."

"I'd really like that. Text me when you're on your way?"

I nod an' smile at her. She leans outta the window an' kisses me again. Just a quick one, but it's enough to keep the smile on my face. We say goodnight an' I stand in the rain watchin' her back up. When she leaves I get in my own truck. I can't wipe the stupid fuckin' grin offa my face. It ain't like I never kissed a girl 'fore. It's just 'cause I'd wanted her to feel the way I did. I'd been so fuckin' afraid she'd want nothin' more to do with me, now I don't have that worry. I pull outta the lot an' start drivin' home, the only sounds are my wipers, the thunder an' rain. I feel better than I have in a long fuckin' time. I pull into my spot in fronta the trailer an' head inside.

"Damn, boy. 'Bout time you got your ass home."

I stop mid-step at my brother's voice. I look over to see him sittin' in his recliner an' the coffee table pulled up to him. He's cuttin' lines into the white powder an' whatever good feelin's I had slowly start to slip away. He smiles up at me as he rolls his paper, drops his head down an' snorts. I fuckin' hate seein' him like this. "What'd you want me for?"

He lifts his head back up, tilts it back an' inhales deeply through his nose, wipin' at his nostrils. When he drops back down, he stares right into my eyes. His pupils are dilated an' it makes me wonder what other shit he's put in his body today.

"Needa ask you a favor."

"It's late. I ain't drivin' your ass to the bar, Merle."

He points his finger at me. "What I always say 'bout cuttin' me off? Huh?"

I shake my head an' toss my keys on top of the tv. I drop down to the couch an' look back to him. He nods an' keeps talkin'. "Gotta man 'bout thirty minutes from here that owes me a couple hundred bucks. Me an' you gonna pay him a little visit Saturday night. He either pays or, well, you know what happens if he don't."

I know damn well what happens. The last time a guy refused to pay Merle, he'd ended up with both knee caps busted. Merle said it was generous he ain't killed him. I've only ever driven Merle to these deals. He says he needs me for backup, but he can take care of hisself. "I ain't goin', Merle."

He laughs at me. "The hell you ain't, Daryl. What if that big sumbitch pulls a knife on me or somethin'? You able to live with yourself if I get killed?"

I look down at my feet. I doubt anything would go wrong. Toughest asshole I ever met, my brother. You feed him a hammer an' he'd crap out nails. Shit. Can't nobody kill Merle but Merle. Still, I think of all the shit he's done. Always drunk or high. I can't just let him go out on his own. He's right, I wouldn't live with myself knowin' I coulda saved him if somethin' happened. I pick myself up offa the couch an' look down at him. The smile on his face tells me he already knows what I'm 'bouta say. "Alright. Just gotta be quick. An' no stupid shit, Merle, I mean it. In an' out."

He stands an' follows me down the hall, clappin' his hand on my shoulder. "Knew you'd never let me down, baby brother. We're all each others got out here."

With that, I turn into the bathroom an' take my shower. At first, I'm nervous 'bout Saturday. But my mind wanders back to earlier, back to Beth. I think of her lips on mine an' I feel my whole body loosen up. After I dry off I lock myself in my room an' put my phone on the charger. I fall on that hard ass mattress an' close my eyes. I try not to think of what Beth would say if she knew 'bout my brother or the shit I'd do for him. Eventually, I gotta tell her 'bout Merle. Me an' her could be a lot more than just hand holdin' an' makin' out in a truck. The thought makes me smile an' I keep replayin' earlier over an' over in my mind as I fall asleep. The small spark in my the back of my mind's done spread like wildfire. This girl's my one hope to be better. She's the chance I never knew I needed.


	8. Chapter 8

After a hot shower, I wrap myself in a towel, paddin' barefoot across the soft carpet in my room. I stand in front of my mirror an' rake my fingers through my wet hair. I look down at my bare legs, debatin' between shorts or jeans. It's still pretty hot out durin' the day, but nights have been coolin' down some. I'm not sure how Zach's garage is set up an' whether or not I'll be outside all night. I decide on a tank top an' shorts: my summer go-to outfit. Might as well enjoy it while I can. I puff out my breath at the thought. Honestly, it can't get that cold out tonight. There's a soft knock at my door just as I plug in my blow dryer.

"Beth, can I come in?"

"Sure, Maggie. It's unlocked."

My sister steps into the room, closin' the door behind her. I see she's already dressed in her scrubs for work an' she looks beautiful. I sigh. Maggie could wear a burlap sack an' still be gorgeous. She looks me over an' smiles, realization dawnin' on her face. "You goin' somewhere tonight?"

"Maybe."

Her eyes sharpen at my flippant response. "A date?"

It's ridiculous how wide my grin is just thinkin' about a date with Daryl Dixon. Even if it won't be just the two of us, I still count it as a date after last night. As my mind replays those kisses in the truck, I can't even seem to form the answer. So I just nod. Maggie walks over to me an' takes the blow dryer outta my hand. She grabs my brush from the dresser an' gets to work on smoothin' out my hair. It's actually really nice havin' her do this for me. Mama used to do the same for both of us on Sundays before church. I catch Maggie's big green eyes in the mirror, the soft expression on her face confirmin' her thoughts parallel mine.

I have such thick hair an' it takes a while for her to finish. When she does, we both admire her work. She can turn my hair into pure, smooth silk. I brush the long front piece off my face an' tuck it behind my ear. Maggie looks at what little makeup I have scattered over the top of my dresser. Daddy doesn't like us wearin' too much makeup. He always says that God made us beautiful just the way we are. But Maggie's never been one to adhere to his rules. "Want me to do your eyes?"

"I was just gonna put on mascara, nothin' too crazy."

"I'll only do a little liner on your lid. Promise."

I roll my eyes at her mock pouty expression, but only in good humor. I know this is the kinda thing she likes to do with me. Maggie's not much of a girly-girl by any means when it comes to herself, somethin' I've never understood. She's beautiful with her olive complexion an' dark hair that falls just above her shoulders. An' she has her mother's gorgeous eyes. Whatever the reason for not fussin' over her own looks, she can't help wantin' to fix me up. My hair an' makeup were always done by her for homecomin's. She wouldn't say it at the time, but I know she was upset that I hadn't gone to my senior prom. I had my reasons.

Eyes closed, I stand still as stone in front of her as she traces the line just above my lashes. I feel the gentle tug on my skin from the pencil. Then she takes a small brush to soften the lines. She tells me to open my eyes an' works with the mascara. When she's finished, I glance at myself in the mirror. I'll give her credit: the soft charcoal is such a contrast against the color of my eyes an' brings them out vibrantly. Each eye has a small wing, givin' the impression of a feline. Just a simple makeup trick to highlight what she deems my best feature.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket an' she sits on the edge of my bed. I gaze at her reflection in the mirror, silently prayin' that she doesn't turn to see what's layin' on my pillow just behind her, mentally kickin' myself for not hidin' it. I'm thankful she doesn't seem to notice anything other than her phone. It must be Glenn textin' her. I can always tell by the way she smiles. I used to think it was silly. Then I'd started textin' Daryl an' caught myself makin' the same face. As if it were meant to happen, my own phone buzzes on the dresser. An', like my sister, I smile at the screen. He just got outta the shower an' he's gonna be here soon. I quickly check my reflection an' decide I look good enough. As I shove my phone in my pocket, Maggie gets to her feet. "Lemme get a good look at you."

I turn to face her an' she shakes her head. I don't understand. I thought I looked nice. "What? You don't like it?"

She laughs at me. "Beth, you look beautiful. It's still crazy to think you'll be nineteen in just a couple weeks. C'mon, I gotta get to the clinic. Daddy's probably wonderin' where I am."

We head downstairs an' put on our shoes. She stares as I slip into my boots. "I swear, I'm gettin' you new ones for your birthday. Those things are worn out."

I shrug. "They're comfortable. I can wear them anywhere."

Knowin' it's a losin' battle, she changes the subject as she opens the door. "Who's the date with?"

"Just a guy I met. His name's Daryl."

We get out onto the porch an' I sit on the steps. She pulls her keys outta her pocket an' I hear the beep that says she's unlocked the car. She turns to face me, brushin' a piece of hair behind her ear. "You go to school with Daryl?"

I shake my head. I don't feel like goin' into our age difference with her right now. I've wondered what she'd say, but I keep my mouth shut an' tell myself not to bother in case nothin' serious comes of this. Deep down, I silently pray that this'll be more than one or two little dates. She steps off the porch an' walks to her car, turnin' back to me before she gets in. "Well, be careful." She raises her eyebrows. "An' don't stay out too late. You got school tomorrow."

There's my bossy older sister. I promise to come home at a decent time, tell her to say hello to Daddy for me an' wave goodbye. When the little car's outta sight, I pick myself up off the step an' walk across the yard to the large oak. I slip my legs through the tire, grip the rope an' lazily swing under the shade of the tree. This tire swing's been up for as long as I can remember. It's a wonder the rope never rotted away. Outta the corner of my eye, I see the horses grazin' in the field. Then I focus on them, watchin' as their tails swish at the flies. Warm weather makes me wanna ride. I just start thinkin' on whether or not Daryl will ever go with me when I hear his truck pull up an' he turns it off. The door creaks, slams shut an' I hear the gravel crunch under his boots.

"Hey."

It's a small, simple word. Comin' from anybody else, it'd only be that. But I can't help the warm feelin' spreadin' over me at the sound of his voice. He's wearin' the same torn jeans an' a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. His hair's still wet from his shower an' small beads of water trickle down the tanned skin of his neck. It's only when his body makes a nervous shift that I realize I'd been starin'. I look up to his face an' our eyes meet for a brief moment before he looks away. That small gesture takes me by surprise. After last night, I don't know why he'd act so shy with me. I decide quickly to dismiss it. Maybe he just had a bad day at work. "Hey, yourself. Wanna come inside a minute? Your shirt's up in my room."

He nods an' I climb outta the swing, walk over to him an' take his hand in mine as I lead him to the porch an' through the front door. I excuse myself for a moment to go get the shirt, tellin' him to make hisself comfortable before I run up to my room. I'm relieved Maggie hadn't seen the work shirt folded neatly on my pillow. I'd washed it this mornin' an' set it down on my bed, not even thinkin' I might need to tuck it somewhere nobody could see it. It's not like I have anything to hide from my sister, just don't feel like explainin' a man's shirt settin' on my pillow. Even if the reason was innocent.

As I come back down the stairs, I catch him starin' at old family photos on the wall. I pause on the bottom step an' watch as he glances to each picture, finally focusin' on one. His hand wipes at the little bit of dust gathered on the glass an' he stands closer to get a better look. Even from here, I can see it's the last family portrait we took. I follow his gaze to my now broken family an' the memories flood through me, breakin' down the dam I'd worked so hard to build. I remember that day clearly.

Mama had fussed over me wearin' my boots an' only gave in when Daddy told her that they wouldn't be seen in the photo. He said nobody would ever know I wore them. He'd winked at me when her back was turned. Me an' Daddy were always a team. He'd been wrong, of course. Mama was so upset when the pictures were developed. Shawn's eyes were closed in one an' Maggie had tried movin' in another. The picture that we all were able to pull off beautifully just so happened to show the tops of my "ugly boots". She finally gave up the idea of retakin' the photos when Maggie an' Shawn convinced her that we looked like a real family in that one.

Takin' a deep breath to clear my thoughts, I walk up beside him an' point to the people in the frame. "That's my brother an' sister. An' that's my mother."

Daddy's there, too, but Daryl's already met him. Well, sorta. His face doesn't give away his thoughts. After a moment, I feel his hand bump against mine. It's a silent invitation for me to take it. As I lace our fingers together, he turns to me an' gives the hint of a smile. "You look just like your mom."

I hear this all the time from Maggie an' Daddy. Even Shawn's told me that before. It's nice hearin' Daryl agree. I give him his shirt an' lead him into the kitchen for a drink. He doesn't accept any tea or lemonade, only leans back against the counter an' crosses his arms over his chest. I peek over to see his eyes on the floor an' notice he's chewin' on the inside of his cheek. Somethin's botherin' him. "Everything alright?"

His head jerks up to look at me. It's obvious that his mind isn't here in the kitchen with us. He gives me a small nod, but it doesn't convince me. I understand keepin' secrets. I've got my own that I'm nowhere near ready to open to anyone. But this is different. He's shuttin' me out. I don't know how many people have to accept the silent answers from him, but he gives them often. I'd thought we were past this. I set my lemonade by the sink an' walk over to him. He watches me as I approach, an' the look on his face reminds me of a stray animal you find backed in a corner- cautious an' defensive. There's definitely somethin' eatin' away at him.

I begin to worry over the dark cloud hangin' above his head. Whatever it is, it's caused him to go back in his shell. It's as though the progress made last night an' over the last week had never happened. I want to know what's wrong, the need to comfort him overwhelmin' me. But I know better than to dig, know how upset I'd be if he dug into my life. If he wants me to know, he'll tell me. Slowly, so I don't scare him away, I wrap my arms around his waist. I'm relieved when he relaxes into the embrace an' he pulls me close, his hands restin' on my sides. I look up into his face an' meet his eyes.

When we ran through the rain an' climbed in my truck last night, there was a moment where I held his gaze, just like now. It was right after he leaned into me an' pushed back my wet hair. I remember the feelin' like my insides were heated. My breath caught in my throat as my blood hummed through my veins. There was a pull deep in my belly, nervous an' excited all at once. I honestly thought I'd explode. He was gonna make the first move. It was everything I could've ever hoped for.

But it didn't happen. I was left burnin' in an unfamiliar territory. The place that had only ever held butterflies before. But this wasn't butterflies. It was an inferno. I burned for his touch, for him to settle some of the flames inside that were completely new to me, a fire formed entirely by instinct. In that very moment, I'd wanted nothin' more than his lips against mine. Needin' some confirmation that we shared the same feelin's. But he brushed it off an' pulled away. If I said I wasn't mad at the time, I'd be a liar. I'm not stupid an' I know I wasn't imaginin' things. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt it, too. That's when it hit me just how deep his insecurities were rooted.

I'd spent the whole ride to the bar feelin' frustrated by the situation. The drive home was a realization that he'd never come on to me. No matter how badly the two of us wanted it, Daryl would ultimately get in the way of his own happiness; our happiness. By the time we got my father outta the truck, the anger had turned into pity for the man I'd been learnin' to care about. My heart splintered at the thought of him bein' so broken. An' that was the thinkin' that convinced me to make the first move. I know that's what I'll have to do now.

Eyes still holdin' his, I tilt my chin up to him, bitin' down softly on my lip. He focuses on my mouth. What he's thinkin' is written all over his expression; torn between takin' what he wants an' protectin' hisself from too much exposure. I don't know if I ever stand a chance at gettin' through that protective barrier. After a moment, he cautiously lowers his face to mine. He lets out a quiet sigh, presses his forehead to my own an' closes his eyes. I raise my hands from his sides an' grip his biceps, his muscles tense under my fingertips. Before he can change his mind, I lightly press my lips against his.

Just like last night, they're warm an' just a little rough. I feel myself relax, not even knowin' I'd been so rigid. I'm grateful as his lips begin to slowly move against mine. It's such a gentle, tentative kiss that I would never expect from a guy like him. He doesn't move his hands from my waist, but pulls me in closer, my body flushed against his. That burnin' sensation's come alive in me again. I raise one hand an' wrap it around the back of his neck, tryin' to take better control of our kiss. I smile at the sound he makes when my nails dig into his skin: between a growl an' a sigh. Matchin' my own bravado, his fingers grip possessively at my sides an' I feel myself get dizzy. I can't help the small, reflexive moan that parts my lips over his; it came from within me. From the pit of flames. My fingers skim down the back of his neck, beneath the collar of his shirt an' brush over the warm skin at the top of his back.

I sense the change in his mood before he even pulls away. Somehow, I'd gone too far. His hand leaves my hip, reachin' up to gently grab my wrist. I'm slightly hurt when he moves my hand away from him. He must know because he pulls me into his arms an' holds me tight against his chest. We stand like that for what seems like ages, neither of us sayin' a word. His hand gently brushes back an' forth over the small of my back an' I'm amazed at how feather-soft his fingers are. A strong contrast to the rough clingin' they'd done only seconds ago. I try to fight through the fog in my mind, try to pinpoint what made him stop. He clears his throat an' I'm torn from my thoughts by the low rumble of his voice. "Ready to go?"

The drive's quiet, neither of us bringin' up our moment in my kitchen. I almost wonder if he regrets kissin' me last night. Maybe he only did it to indulge me at the time. I roll my eyes at the thought. If he didn't really wanna kiss me, he had a demented way of showin' it. He starts his second cigarette an' I look out the window to the beaten dirt road we're on. I glance around at all the trailers an' small houses here. There's children in a little yard jumpin' through a water sprinkler. I see a few more ridin' bicycles over ramps made outta scrap plywood an' cinder blocks. I smile as we pass them. I always wondered what it would've been like to grow up in a neighborhood full of kids my own age.

Daryl turns right an' I can see Zach standin' out in his yard. It's a small house, garage attached at the side. I can tell by lookin' at it that I'll mostly be outside tonight. Hope I was right that it can't get too cold. We back up right to the open garage door where Zach's car is already waitin'.

When we get outta the truck, I see Amy's diggin' through a cooler in the garage. I say hello to Zach as Amy stands straight, a beer in her hand an' a big smile on her face when she sees me. I'm relieved she welcomes me so warmly. Just the way Daryl an' Zach had before. I walk up to her an' hold out my hand.

"Hi, Amy. I don't know if you remember me from last weekend, but I'm Beth."

She laughs as she takes my hand an' gently shakes it, sayin' she remembers me. She gives me a soda from the cooler when I turn down a beer. We drop the tailgate of Daryl's truck an' hop up. I watch Daryl an' Zach set to work on the car. The boxes are a few feet away from us, parts an' wires stickin' out. For a while, Amy an' I talk. It's just the basic, get-to-know-you stuff. She tells me she's from Florida an' that she has an older sister, too.

"Andrea's twelve years older than me. It was kinda weird for her growing up, I guess. She was worried about grades and college applications while I was still watching cartoons and playing with dolls." She takes a long drink from her beer. "My twenty-first birthday was this past spring. She told me she'd come see me. Never did get up this way. Nothing new there, though. Ever since she was old enough to drive, she'd found plenty of things more important than my birthday."

I nod. Maggie's gonna be twenty-five this year. I'm lucky the two of us are so close, despite the six year age gap. I tell Amy how bossy Maggie can be, how she always plays the worrisome mother hen. Amy laughs an' holds her beer up, tappin' my soda can with it. "To big sisters."

The sun's droppin' below the trees an' I can already notice a slight decrease in the temperature. Amy called for a pizza an' it's the first time the guys pull their attention away from the car. I'm not entirely sure what they're doin', but every now an' then, one would yell at the other.

"Can't believe you lost 'em."

"Daryl, I'm tellin' you. We don't need the fuckin' directions! It's like bakin' a damn cake. You just do it."

Daryl stands an' wipes the sweat off his brow. "That don't make no fuckin' sense! But if you bake a cake like you run wires, I ain't ever eatin' your damn cakes!"

Zach tosses Daryl another beer from the cooler, grabbin' two more for hisself an' Amy an' another soda for me. They come over to the truck to eat, Daryl next to me. Zach stands between Amy's legs, hands on her thighs an' she leans into him. Cuppin' his face in her hands, she bends down an' kisses him. I look away to Daryl an' he rolls his eyes dramatically. I laugh at him an' that's when they remember they're not alone. Amy smiles apologetically at me. Daryl makes a mock sound of disgust.

"It's like a damn romance novel."

The pizza was hot an' the warmth of it only reminded me of the chill in the air. A shiver runs over my body an' I hope no one notices. Unfortunately, Daryl does. He sets his half-eaten slice back in the box an' licks his fingers clean, tiltin' his chin up to me. "You cold?"

"Course she's cold! Look at the damn shorts she's wearin'. Amy, too. Women amaze me sometimes! Next time the two of you oughtta save yourselves the trouble an' just show up naked." His eyes wander over Amy's body. "'Specially Amy."

Daryl shoves Zach before he walks to the front of the truck an' looks inside. He comes back with a black thermal shirt in his hand, holdin' it out to me. I look him in the eyes an' see a gentleness there. When I reach to take it from him, my fingers brush over his. The other two don't see the connection in this moment, too wrapped up in their fond little jokes. But Daryl runs his thumb over one of my fingers an' I see his lips pull up slightly. He's an expert at controllin' his feelin's. Despite whatever troubled him earlier, our spark's still there. I try to reign in my own emotions as I slip the shirt on, but I allow myself a big smile underneath the fabric before pullin' it past my head. For a second, I breathe in the scent. It's tobacco smoke an' body wash. Manly an' intoxicatin'. It's Daryl Dixon.

I giggle at how big it is on me, the sleeves extendin' past my fingers. I look up to see a small smile has replaced the smirk on Daryl's face. He's lookin' me over an' there's a kindled feelin' inside me. He's not starin' at me the way Zach just looked at Amy. I know it's not a sexual appetite I see on his face, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. Zach an' Amy are kissin' again an', in the moment of - somewhat - solitude, Daryl reaches up an' pushes the hair back behind my ear. We hold each other's eyes, his rough palm lingerin' on the side of my face for just a moment longer before he pulls it away. Above the sound of my heart rapidly beatin' against my ribs, I hear a snort an' turn to see the two of them starin' at us. Zach's smilin' from ear to ear.

"Y'all the sequel to our novel, now?"

"Shut the fuck up, Zach. You ready to finish shit up in there?"

When they walk away, Amy says, "You two make a cute couple. Been dating long?"

"Technically?" I look to see her raise her eyebrows. "We met last Thursday. I don't know how many of the times we've hung out since then really count as dates."

I smile at the surprised look on her face. She takes another drink from her beer. "Could've fooled me."

"What do you mean?"

She laughs an' looks me in the eyes. "I see the way you guys look at each other. Haven't you noticed how often he's looked up at you tonight? God, I would've thought you guys were living together and planning marriage or something."

Now I'm the one taken aback. I feel stupid that I hadn't been payin' more attention. I glance up to see him handin' somethin' to Zach, but his eyes are on me. He quickly looks away, obviously embarrassed that I'd seen him. I tell myself not to feel bad for not noticin' earlier. It's clear he hasn't been meanin' to get my attention. A smile spreads over my face an' I look back at Amy. She'd seen the exchange. She grins knowingly at me.

"Told you so."

They work for another hour, still snappin' at each other, laughin' an' smokin'. Once it's finished, Zach drops into the driver's seat an' turns the ignition. Southern rock blasts through the speakers, but it's a smooth sound. Heavy an' powerful. From where I'm sittin', I see Zach throw his head back. His fist held out the door in triumph.

"It's alive!"

He gets Daryl to move the truck an' he backs the car down the driveway, takin' Amy for a ride down the road an' back. When we're left alone, I stand on my toes an' kiss Daryl on the cheek. He clears his throat. Gives me a shy smile when he meets my eyes. "You look real nice."

"Little big on me."

He laughs. "Ain't talkin' 'bout the shirt. You warmin' up yet?"

"It's alright."

I get back on the tailgate an' he turns around an' hoists hisself up next to me. I scoot closer to his side an' lean into him. I'm relieved he doesn't flinch or try to get space. It's weird that I accept his little defensive reactions so easily that I'm happy when he doesn't push me away. His fingers tug on the end of the long sleeve. Quickly, almost gracefully, they work to roll the fabric up to my wrist. He picks up my other hand an' does the same. I stare at him an' he just shrugs. "Looks better now."

I shiver again, this time from the feelin' of his fingers skimmin' over the top of my hand. He mistook it for me bein' cold. His arm wraps around my shoulder. Not even a hint of hesitation. His hand rubs at my arm roughly, an attempt at warmin' me up. Then he runs it down my side an' pulls me closer. It only lasts for a minute before Zach comes back up the driveway. Daryl puts a little space between us, but he wasn't fast enough. Zach already caught us. He makes his voice low an' sounds almost exactly like Daryl. "Ugh. Like a damn romance novel."

Daryl gives him a dirty look an' Zach says, "You fuckin' love me."

Amy an' I give each other our numbers an' promise to talk tomorrow. I'm excited we've gotten along so well tonight an' I can tell already we'll be good friends. Daryl tells Zach he'll see him in the mornin' an' we get in the truck. The ride home feels more comfortable than the ride to Zach's. Daryl's more relaxed an' I'm relieved. I wrap my arms around my stomach, huggin' his shirt to me. I close my eyes an' focus on the scent of him. I'm warm an', silly as it is, the shirt makes me feel protected. Like a child totin' around their baby blanket. I begin to open up to my thoughts. _Rough hands holdin' me. Strong fingers brushin' against my cheek. Warm lips gently movin' with mine. Stormy blue eyes_ _starin' at me with unspoken emotions..._

"Hey, Beth. Wake up."

He lightly shakes my shoulder an' I open my eyes. We're in the truck still, but now we're parked outside of my house. I'm embarrassed that I dozed off. I yawn, stretch my arms an' turn on the seat to face him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. How long was I out for?"

"Maybe fifteen minutes."

There's a smile in his voice an' I can't figure out why. "What's so funny?"

A small chuckle parts his lips an' he lights up a cigarette before answerin' me, blowin' the first bit of smoke out the window. "You snore."

"I do not!"

He laughs around his cigarette, causin' hisself to cough out the smoke. I puff out my breath dramatically. "Hmph. Serves you right."

He's stopped coughin' an' looks at me. I mouth _Liar_ an' he starts laughin' again. I know he's only messin' with me. It's his carefree side. The one I see far too little of. I decide to roll with the light mood an' laugh with him, storin' the memory of his laughter into the depths of my mind. It's somethin' I'll probably replay behind closed eyes for the next few nights.

When he finishes his cigarette, he drops it into a half-empty bottle of soda in the cup holder. The small, respectful act moves me. He could've very well tossed it onto my driveway an' left it there. I'd seen him throw plenty of cigarette butts out his truck window. But he was courteous enough not to do that. It's the little things he does, like that, that makes me wanna find out more about him. He's a complete mystery to me an' I'm hopelessly tryin' to put together the puzzle. A strong, silent man who occasionally shows a kinder side you'd never imagine. I knew it from the moment he helped me with Daddy last week: Daryl's a good man. Even if he's too shy to reveal that heart of his often, I know it's goodness within him.

He gets out, walkin' around the front of the truck to come open my door for me. When he does, he holds his hand out to me. A perfect gentleman beneath the rugged exterior. I smile as I take it in my own, climbin' down from the seat an' tuggin' on his hand. But I move us away from my porch. He doesn't resist my spontaneity, only follows my lead. I look up to a window in my house an' notice the lights are off inside. Daddy an' Maggie's vehicles are both parked in the driveway, so they must be asleep.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow? After work, I mean."

I walk us over to the large oak tree an' stop there, lookin' up into his face. The change in him's instantaneous. He doesn't answer me right away but lets go of my hand, his fallin' at his side. I see his eyes drop to the ground an' he chews slightly on his bottom lip. Even in the shadows the moonlight casts under this tree, I can see his muscles tense up.

"Mhm."

It's a short answer. Hardly an answer, honestly. A simple murmur in place of the word. His rapid shifts in mood makes my head spin. I grit my teeth. The image of a timid, cornered animal comes to the front of my mind an' I remember I have to be kind if I want to earn his trust. I make my voice as gentle an' carin' as possible. Perfectly maskin' my irritation.

"Oh. Alright. I was only wonderin'. I'm babysittin' for Sheriff Grimes an' his wife tomorrow night." He looks curiously at me. I quickly explain further. "Friends of the family. They've got a banquet to go to. Their son's fifteen now, so I don't have to watch him. He's stayin' at a friend's house anyways, I think. But I'll be watchin' the baby."

I'm ramblin'. Maggie's always told me I run at the mouth when I feel the need to defend myself. Before this very moment, I'd always thought she was exaggeratin'. I inwardly cringe at my awkwardness. He probably thinks I talk too much.

"You like watchin' kids?"

I nod, decidin' not to say more. Fearin' the embarrassment. For a moment, he doesn't say anything. When he does, his voice is shy an' quiet. "Kids are alright."

A large smile takes over my face an' I look up to him. He shrugs. "The ones 'round my neighborhood always get me to fix their bikes for 'em. Shit like that. Some of 'em are pretty cool."

I climb into the tire swing an' try to start up a slow motion. He steps behind me an' lightly pushes on the tire. I decide to tell him about Judith. How she's got me wrapped around her little fingers. The way her smile an' laugh melts my heart. He tells me a little more about some of the kids in his neighborhood. A little boy named Luke who always needs help with his bike. An older boy named Patrick who follows him around whenever he sees him outside, callin' him Mr. Dixon. I laugh at the slight irritation in his voice. But he can't fool me. I know he secretly likes little kids lookin' up to him.

"Must've been a nice childhood growin' up in a place like that. Always havin' other kids to play with."

He stops pushin' the swing an' I know, like the few times before, I must've struck a nerve. I drop my feet to the dirt, stoppin' the swing. I've had about all I can take of him hidin' hisself from me. I get up next to him, ready to give him a piece of my mind, when I realize he isn't even payin' attention to me. Followin' his gaze around my yard, I notice he's relaxed some. The moonlight illuminates one side of his face an' I see he's not as tense as he'd been earlier. He almost looks calm, as if he's collectin' hisself. Sortin' through his thoughts. For the most part, it's silent out. Crickets an' peepers fill the night air with their peaceful lullaby. Lightnin' bugs flash like tiny fireworks all around us.

"It's beautiful out here."

He turns his head to face me, the rest of him now showered in the light under that full Georgian moon. I can see his lips quirk at my words. I know I need to bring him back to me again. Slowly, I lower my hand an' it brushes against his. When he doesn't move, I take his hand in mine. I speak into the gentle breeze, my voice lightly carryin' with the sounds around us.

"You can't keep pushin' me away, Daryl. I know there's somethin' you're not tellin' me."

His eyes flit away from my face. I can tell he wants to say somethin', but he doesn't have to. I understand the pain of secrets. I know what it feels like to bear the weight of that pain, an' I know it isn't easy to open up to someone. "An' that's okay."

He looks at me again. Unsure, at first. Cautious. Then he takes me by surprise as he slips his fingers between mine, squeezes tightly. Those stormy blue eyes fix on me, I'm held in place by them. He nods slightly. If I wasn't so focused on him I would've missed the gesture. "Alright."

I move to stand right in front of him, holdin' both of his hands now. "But I want you to know you can. Tell me, I mean. I won't hold anything against you, Daryl. You aren't the only one with secrets. Maybe we can help each other."

I think back to the riverbed, back to openin' up to him about my family. There's so much more I could tell him, an' it's strange that I feel comfortable even thinkin' about it. But I know he won't judge me. An' I wouldn't judge him. I doubt there's even one skeleton in his closet scary enough to chase me away. It's only been a week an' I already know that I care about him. Even if it's mostly as a friend. Other feelin's haven't really had a chance to grow between us. But I know we're dangerously close to that point. I smile at the look on his face. The only way I can describe it is relief. Maybe even hope? His eyes flick over my own expression an' he looks like he's thinkin' somethin' over.

I never could've seen it comin', he moved so fast. What little distance we had was closed between us an' his face fell to mine. My lips parted when I gasped. He took my face in his hands, a firm grip to keep me from lookin' away. But I couldn't if I tried. His eyes are dilated, in the moonlight they almost look black. The caution's been replaced with somethin' else. I can't figure out what it is, but it's set my blood on fire. I feel his breath, warm on my skin. His mouth hovers over mine, darkened eyes dropped to my lips. His voice's a low rumble from his chest. "You mean that?"

I hear the question. I know the answer. The only problem is us bein' so close. It restrains the communication between my mind an' my voice. His mouth, so teasingly close to mine. The way his thumb runs over my bottom lip. These things throw all the signals in my body into overdrive. I can feel my breath quicken, my heart beatin' a mile a minute. I tilt my head up to kiss him but he only drags his bottom lip over mine before pullin' back slightly. Stubbornly stayin' outta my reach. When I don't answer right away, he looks into my eyes again. Behind whatever lust or urges I see, there's a weakness. A chink in his armor. This is what makes me come to my senses. My voice trembles, havin' nothin' to do with the cool air. "Yes."

He closes his eyes an' lets out a small moan. Then his lips crush into mine. It's desperate an' urgent. Daryl's kissin' me so fervently, like he needs me to breathe. I do my best to keep up, followin' his lead. My head's swimmin' from the sensations of his lips, his hands slidin' over my face an' into my hair. His thumbs tuck under my jaw an' lightly press into my pulse, remindin' me how alive I feel when he touches me.

I whimper when he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip, raisin' my hand up the back of his neck an' tuggin' on his hair. It has the effect I'd hoped for. His lips part when he sighs an' I take the opportunity. I can taste the last cigarette on his tongue along with a hint of the beer he drank earlier. After a while, I pull away to catch my breath. His hands run down my neck, over my shoulders, down my arms. They drop behind me, his fingers pressin' roughly into the small of my back. Then he pulls me back in.

I don't know how long we've been kissin' like this. He eventually controls hisself enough to pull away from me. I'm gaspin' for breath an' it takes all my willpower not to bend over an' clutch at my knees. I feel like I ran for miles. I see his chest rise an' fall quickly an' I'm glad to see he's just as affected as I am. He takes my hand an' walks me to my door. His voice is quiet. "Wanna go to the river Sunday?"

I study his face. He almost looks happy. Peaceful, even. This is probably the closest I've seen him resemble either expression since I met him. Whatever insecurities he's had tonight seem to be gone. I'm not stupid enough to think they're gone for good, but they're definitely tucked away in his mind. I don't know what he plans on doin' Sunday, but I know that I'll be tryin' to get him to talk to me. I don't care if it's only small things. What just happened in my yard pushed us past the line of friendship. It's what I'd wanted. Judgin' by the look on his face, he felt the same way.

"I'd love to."

He raises a hand to move the hair off my face. His fingers against the side of my head gently coax me to raise my chin. He kisses me softly. The desperation from before is gone. It's been replaced with a slight confidence. I feel him smile against my mouth just before he steps back. I quickly pull off his shirt an' hand it back to him.

"Night, Beth."

"Goodnight, Daryl."

He turns away from me an' goes back to his truck. I wave goodbye as he goes around the other vehicles an' watch him drive down the road. Once his taillights are no more than two red pinpoints in the distance, I head inside. I slip off my boots an' walk quietly as possible up to my room, payin' careful attention to avoid the second step from the top that creaks under the slightest pressure. I close my door behind me an' lean against it. There's a dull ache in my cheeks an' I raise my hand to my face. I realize I'm still smilin'. My head lightly falls back against the door an' I do my best to clear my thoughts. Despite the charge coursin' through me from moments ago, I know I'm bone tired. I don't even turn on my light. Just use my phone to guide me around my room. I change into my pajamas an' climb into bed, settin' my phone on the charger. I lay back on my mattress an' drop my head to my pillow. I look up to my ceilin' an' smile at the little glow-in-the-dark stars that have been there for years. My bedroom window's open an' I close my eyes to the sounds of the crickets an' frogs. I think of Daryl's laughter, his shy smiles. I brush my fingers over my lips as I think of his kisses.

I remember the first time Maggie ever kissed her first boyfriend. I hadn't seen it, obviously, but she told me all about it. When I asked her what it was like to feel that way over someone, she had said, "It's a can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the moon kinda feelin'."

I had fallen on my back gigglin' at how silly all of it sounded. As far as I was concerned, there was no way any person could make you feel like that. She started laughin' with me. "Laugh it up, Bethy. One day you'll know exactly what I'm talkin' about. It's like floatin' on air."

I'd never felt so deliriously happy kissin' Jimmy. I mean, it wasn't like it was bad or anything. But it definitely wasn't enough to make me think I was floatin' on air. I'd decided she must've been makin' the whole thing up back then. I'd been wrong. The reason I hadn't felt that with Jimmy was because I didn't feel so strongly about him. Wasn't even puppy love for me.

I keep my eyes closed an' think about Daryl. I know somethin's happenin' between us, an' it's only the beginnin'. I smile to myself thinkin' Maggie had been right after all. I've finally got that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the moon feelin'. My body feels light as air an' I smile again at the sensation. My eyes open an' I look up at the little green stars glowin' brightly. I can only imagine what Daryl would say about these feelin's. I laugh quietly an' speak under my breath, closin' my eyes again.

"It's like a damn romance novel."

* * *

**_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I want to apologize for such a long delay. There's been a death in my family and it's been especially difficult these last few weeks. I had decided to take a while to get myself back together. I'd almost forgotten how cathartic writing can be. Thank you all for following _Chance_. I promise to update as often as I can. You guys are wonderful and I hope you like everything I have in store for Daryl and Beth._**


	9. Chapter 9

"Alright, Judith. Wave to the camera."

I pick up her chubby little hand an' wave it at my phone. I lightly kiss her cheek as I take the picture. I set it back on the couch an' lay her down on her blanket, gently rubbin' her stomach as she starts to wind down. It's been a long day an' I feel about as tired as she looks.

My phone buzzes beside me an' I see Amy's name on my screen. Her an' I've decided to go out Monday before her shift at the bar. We've actually been textin' each other all day. I quickly type back, agreein' on lunch an' goin' to the mall. I laugh at how excited I am. It feels like a lifetime's passed since I've had a girl other than my sister wantin' to go places with me. Judith starts to babble away, tryin' to get my attention. "I'm sorry, darlin'. You want me to sing you to sleep, don't you?"

I lift her off the blanket an' hold her to me. I clear my throat an' begin to hum. Tiny fingers grip the end of my braid an' she lays her head in the space between my neck an' shoulder. It's possible that I'm the most comfortable when I'm with her. We just get along so naturally.

Nobody else seems to make her laugh the way I can, besides her brother. An' I can get her to fall asleep by the end of a single song. Lori calls me a miracle worker. I walk us over to the bay window an' gently rock her in my arms. The sun's just startin' to fall back behind the trees. I clear my throat again an' begin singin' the first song that comes to my mind.

_"I remember tears streamin' down your face when I said, 'I'll never let you go'. When all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, 'Don't leave me here alone'. But all that's dead an' gone an' passed tonight."_

Birds fly through the leaves of the oak tree. It's quiet enough that I can just make out the soft chorus of frogs outside. Peaceful. I feel her body relax more against me an' I continue.

"_Just close your eyes. The sun is goin' down. You'll be alright. No one can hurt you, now. Come mornin' light, you an' I'll be_ _safe an' sound_."

I stare at the tire swing. My heart pounds at the memory of last night. The memory of Daryl's kiss an' his smile. I can almost hear his laughter. I grin an' place a small kiss on the top of Judith's head.

"_Don't you dare look out your window, darlin', everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps ragin' on. Hold on to this lullaby. Even when the music's gone. Gone."_

I can hear her breathin' evenin' out an' her fingers release my hair. I hum as I walk us back to her blanket. Gently as I can, I lay her on her back an' smile at how sweet she looks sleepin' there. I rub her stomach some more an' quietly finish off the song.

_"Just close your eyes. The sun is goin' down. You'll be alright. No one can hurt you, now. Come mornin' light, you an' I'll be safe an' sound."_

"That's an interestin' song to sing to a baby."

I turn to see Maggie standin' in the archway of the sittin' room. I shrug. "I figure it's better than fallin' cradles an' ashes."

She smiles warmly at me an' makes her way over, sittin' behind us on the couch. I glance down at the baby sleepin' quietly an' look back to Maggie. She's wearin' a dark green strapless dress with a full skirt that hits just at her knees. It compliments her skin tone. I also see she's wearin' the pair of diamond earrings Daddy had given her on her sixteenth birthday. I keep my voice down. "You look pretty. Gotta date with Glenn tonight?"

She grins from ear to ear an' nods. They've been gettin' pretty serious over the last year. Always goin' out to dinner, her stayin' at his place on the weekends an' them goin' away at least once a month. I like seein' her so happy an' I really like Glenn. He doesn't treat me like I'm just her kid sister. We actually joke around a lot an' the three of us have fun together when he comes over for dinner. She looks down at the baby an' keeps her voice quiet like mine. "How was your date last night? You got home pretty late."

There's no anger in her voice. If anything she looks happy for me. I feel myself smile. "It was..."

What's an appropriate word for what happened? Daryl went from shy an' cautious to carelessly happy with me in a matter of hours. He makes my head spin just tryin' to keep up with his different sides. The mental exercise I've gotten these last few days is probably the reason I've been so exhausted by the time I lay my head down at night. Even then, I can't fight back the smile I get just thinkin' about him. It's all just...

"Wonderful."

She looks me over approvingly an' tells me to give her more than that. I shrug. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Try."

I roll my eyes. Of course she wants to dissect every aspect of a single night out with a guy. But I remember that Maggie's the one person I can go to for absolutely anything. Especially the subjects that are too embarrassin' to ever bring up with Daddy. I sigh.

"It's pretty complicated, Maggie. It's nothin' like datin' Jimmy was. Is it wrong that I actually like that?"

I see her bite her lip an' realize she's tryin' not to laugh an' wake up Judith. I appreciate that. She just shakes her head. "Bethy, nothin' worth havin's ever gonna be easy."

I snort. "Thanks for the philosophy, Mags."

"I mean it. Do you remember how hard it was gettin' Daddy to accept me goin' away with Glenn that first weekend? He was so stubborn an' fought me tooth an' nail. But, every time I felt like just givin' up, I reminded myself how happy Glenn made me. I realized he was definitely someone worth fightin' for."

I let the words sink in. Maybe I haven't known Daryl very long, but I know he's worth fightin' for. Even if a majority of the fightin's with his own insecurities. I check to make sure Judith's still asleep an' climb up on the couch with my sister. She pulls her legs up an' tucks her feet under her. I mirror her position. "What if I'm fightin' against some protective barrier he's got put up? I mean, one minute he seems carefree, the next he's pullin' away. I can't keep up with all the triggers that scare him back behind that shell. What am I supposed to do?"

She looks like she's thinkin' it over. But she's still smilin'. After a minute she laughs an' we both quickly check to make sure she didn't wake up the baby. I glare at her an' she whispers, "Sorry."

She sighs an' looks me in the eyes. "You've always been attracted to broken things, Beth. Don't look at me like that. You really have. Remember gettin' Nervous Nellie? You were so certain you could make that damn horse love you."

"She does love me."

"That's my point. You're such a nurturin' person. You're instantly drawn to anything that needs some sorta lovin' care. An' you're the most persistent person I've ever met. You just don't give up on anyone or anything. That's what you gotta keep doin' with this guy. Maybe he just needs to know that you're there for him an' you wanna help him."

I sit back against the arm of the couch an' gaze past my sister, out the window. The sun's well below the trees an' there's a rosy glow on the horizon. I think about what she's said. It's all true, of course. It's just in my nature to want to help someone. I know whatever Daryl's fightin' against, no matter what it is, I wanna help him.

"Maggie?"

"Hmm?"

I fix my eyes on her face an' I return her smile. "I know what you meant before."

Her expression turns to curiosity an' I feel the grin split across my face. "I've got it. The feelin' like I'm floatin' on air? Daryl makes me feel like that."

Her big green eyes soften an' she keeps her voice quiet. "Told you so."

We hear Glenn's car pull up an' I walk her to the door, watch as she slips on a pair of heels she'd brought down from her room an' hold the door open for her. Glenn waves to me an' I wave back. Before she walks away, I tug on her elbow. She turns to face me an' I hug her. I step back an' smile at the questionin' look on her face. "Thanks for the talk, Mags. I needed that."

She reaches her hand out to my shoulder. "You know you can talk to me about anything. I'll see you tomorrow."

I watch her walk gracefully out to his car, somethin' I can truly envy. I have enough trouble walkin' over a flat surface in heels. She makes walkin' out the door, down the steps an' across the yard look so simple. I wave goodbye as they drive away, turn to go back to the baby an' close the door behind me. I sit down on the couch an' pick up my phone, lookin' at the picture I took with Judith. We both look so happy. There's a smile on my lips where I've kissed her cheek an' her tiny hand waves to me from the picture. There's a soft glow around us where the sunlight broke through the window.

I haven't heard from Daryl since earlier this afternoon when he text me to see what time he should pick me up tomorrow. He'd told me he'd be busy tonight an' wouldn't be able to talk much. I pull his name up in my phone an' glance at our conversation. Maggie's right. I can't give up on him. Just lookin' at his name gives me goosebumps. I tap on the screen an' attach the picture of me an' Judith in a text.

**_Judith says hello. Can't wait to see you tomorrow _:)**

I send him the message an' set my phone back down. I get back on the floor an' lay down next to Judith. Starin' up at the ceilin', my mind wanders back to decipherin' whatever it is that bothers Daryl so much. I can't imagine what could possibly haunt him, but I know it doesn't matter. He's broken an' I'm determined to help him at any cost.

* * *

"Whatcha doin', Daryl?"

I turn 'round in my seat an' see the little kid starin' up at me. He's got a red popsicle in his hand an' it's drippin' down his fingers. He's smilin' at me an' I see the gap where he's lost his two front teeth. The shirt he's wearin's covered in dirt an' stains. I smile back at him an' pull the cigarette outta my mouth, tappin' the ash off the end.

Luke lives in the trailer 'cross the street from us. Always findin' me when I'm workin' outside an' always got somethin' that needs fixin'. He don't annoy me much. Kinda feel bad for the kid. It's just him an' his mom livin' there since his dad ran out on 'em a few years back. Shit. Ain't like his mom's any better. She's just another dope fiend. Always stumblin' over to our place in the middle of the night to get her fix from Merle. It's a wonder the kid don't get in any trouble. I put the cigarette back to my lips an' get back to my work.

"Puttin' a new radio in my truck. What's up?"

"Mama got me a slingshot for my birthday, yesterday. Wanna go shoot down empty cans offa the fence?"

I finish up the radio an' turn the ignition. Skynyrd comes through the speakers an' _Free Bird_ fills the cab. I tap the dash an' turn the truck off. "Can't tonight, Luke. Gettin' ready to head out. Didn't know your birthday was yesterday."

"Yeah. I turned eight. It was a pretty big deal."

I laugh at him an' climb outta the truck, slammin' the door behind me. I pull my wallet outta my back pocket an' dig through. Shit. All's I got's a ten. Guess ten's good enough for an eight year old. I hand it to him an' he smiles up at me, nearly droppin' his damn popsicle. I shrug. "Happy birthday. We'll shoot cans tomorrow night."

He thanks me for the money an' shoves it in the front pocket of his shorts. I look over to his house an' see the car's gone. "Where's your mom?"

He shakes his head. "Dunno. She went out a few hours ago. Locked the door to the house an' told me to play outside."

I look down the street a little ways an' just make out some of the other kids kickin' a ball 'round in the middle of the road. I speak 'round my cigarette. "You go over there an' play with them other kids. Patrick's there. Tell him I said to practice your slingshot with you."

I look down at him again, blowin' smoke outta the corner of my mouth so it don't get in his face. Kid can't weigh much. Damn clothes practically hang offa him. Brown eyes stare up at me through dirty, brown curls. I shake my head just thinkin' what a good kid he is. How his mom don't give a shit what he does or where he goes. I start to think that fuckin' junk in his hand's all he's ate today. "You get hungry, go on over to Zach's an' he'll get you somethin' to eat."

Luke nods an' starts to walk away. I know why I feel so damn protective over that kid. He reminds me of myself when I was his age. Parents that don't give a damn what you do, long's you stay outta their sight. I remember my old man an' I'm glad Luke ain't gotta deal with his own jackass dad. Better off without him. I'll be damned if he ends up like me. I shout out to him. "You best get good with that thing. Me an' you gonna shoot for money tomorrow."

"Alright, Daryl. I'll bring my jar of quarters. See ya tomorrow."

I wait 'til he gets over to the other kids, grind my cigarette in the dirt an' head inside. Merle's sittin' in his recliner an' starin' up at the ceilin'. I get over to him an' kick his chair. Icy blue eyes meet mine an' they ain't dilated. He's been sober since his last fix Thursday night.

"You needa stop sellin' to the lady 'cross the street."

"You talkin' 'bout Shelly?"

I nod. "She needs to worry more 'bout her damn kid than gettin' high."

I try to sound like I don't give a damn. Like it's just somethin' that gets on my nerves. But Merle sees right through me. Always could. He gets up an' laughs right in my face. "You playin' daddy to that kid, little brother? Think it's a good idea for any of them kids out there to look up to you?"

I glare at him as I make my way into the kitchen an' get some water from the sink. I drink down the whole glass an' turn to see him leanin' back against the fridge, starin' at me. I put the empty glass on the counter an' stare back at him. He shakes his head. "Always said you were the sweet one, boy."

I don't move a muscle. Don't care what shit he's gotta say 'bout me. I ain't ever asked my brother for nothin'. Ain't ever needed nothin' he could give me. But this is somethin' I do need from him. I can't help but feel responsible for that kid walkin' 'round this neighborhood, locked outta his house 'cause his mom don't give a shit what he does. It's my flesh an' blood supplyin' her nasty habits. I just want better for Luke than I had.

Merle laughs at me. "Alright. Fuck her. She don't ever pay upfront, anyways. But don't think you're savin' that kid. Shelly don't get her shit from me, she's just gonna find someone else. Drugs are a terrible thing."

He smiles wickedly at me an' tells me to get ready to head out. I follow him down the hall an' catch him 'fore he goes in his room. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Thanks."

For a second he just stares at me. Then he looks at my hand touchin' him an' shrugs it off. He shoves me outta the doorway. "Get outta here, man."

My brother ain't ever been one to accept appreciation. Hell, I don't even like it much. But I take it better than him. I walk into my room an' close the door behind me. We still got another hour or two 'fore it gets dark. I close my eyes an' try to get some sleep. At first, my nerves get the best of me. I ain't sure how shit's gonna go down with this guy tonight. I just want it to be over with. I think 'bout how badly I wanna get away from livin' like this. An' that's when I start thinkin' 'bout Beth. It's her face I picture right 'fore I fall asleep.

"Get your ass up! We gotta go!"

I open my eyes to a dark room. My door shakes from his fist beatin' against it. I pick up my phone to check the time an' realize I was out for almost two hours. Fuck. I quickly take off my work shirt an' grab my thermal shirt offa the bed 'fore I head down the hall. I drop down to the couch an' try to ignore my nerves.

Shovin' my feet into my boots, I can't fight off the feelin' somethin's gonna go wrong. I glance over to my brother an' he looks like ain't nothin' wrong with the world. "You sure 'bout this, Merle?"

"What'd I tell you? Gonna be a quick job. In an' out. Ain't that what you said you wanted?"

I look into his eyes. Strange seein' they ain't bloodshot. Almost like I ain't even lookin' at my brother. Him wantin' to sober up 'fore we meet up with this guy bothers me. Makes me more nervous that he felt he needed a clear head. I grab my shirt an' pull it on. Catch the now familiar scent: strawberries. I close my eyes just a moment to remember last night. To remember her. Anything to take my ass off edge.

I'd been in a shitty mood since I'd gotten off work yesterday. Couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout what was gonna happen tonight. The whole drive to Beth's, I tried to figure out just what the hell the two of us was doin'. She's such a damn good person an' there I was, still talkin' myself into this shit with Merle. I felt bad tryin' to piss her off enough so she'd be the one to tell me to go. Fuck, God hisself knows I couldn't do it. She kissed me in that kitchen an' I couldn't help but think it'd be alright. I'd make her understand I ain't nothin' like I was. Even if she never knew the way I was.

Her fingers touched the skin of my back, soft an' gentle when that part of me's only ever felt pain. It's what I needed to get my head back on straight. I told myself right then that she'd never accept me. An' I knew deep down I'd never fuckin' deserve her. Holdin' her to me was painful. I convinced myself I didn't have to lose her. This all started with us actin' like friends. Figured I'd take spendin' time with her anyway I could. Later, I felt her face relax into my hand when I'd touched her. Realized I'd never wanted nothin' more in my life than for her to always be that way with me.

Bein' at Zach's, watchin' the way she smiled when she didn't know I was lookin', I couldn't help but think it coulda all been real. Wasn't just some fucked up trick in my head. Like I hadn't imagined how comfortable she was with my hand on her face. If it was more than only thinkin' she liked sittin' so close to me on the tailgate. That's how it played out the entire night in my damn head. Fightin' between holdin' onto her 'cause of some distant chance or lettin' her walk away from me 'fore it could ever be more.

We was just turnin' on her road an' I'd been feelin' so damn good that she felt comfortable bein' alone with me an' fallin' asleep. I put the truck in park out fronta her house an' watched her sleep a minute. I ain't ever imagined anyone sleepin' so damn sound. My mind raced through right an' wrong. What I'd done in the past, what I planned on doin' the next night. But everything inside me froze when I heard her say my name. I'd thought she was awake. I looked over an' saw her head on her shoulder an' could just make out the smile on her lips. She was still asleep. She ain't said nothin' but my name, soft an' quiet. I'd felt like I'd just been hit with my own damn truck.

I lower my head an' inhale again, her scent soothin' my frayed nerves as I come back to the world 'round me. Merle's sittin' on the recliner, lacin' up his own boots. I stand an' go to the door, grabbin' my keys offa the hook. I turn back to him. "See you in the truck."

He nods an' I slip through the door an' walk outside. I take out a cigarette an' light it up, leanin' back against the fronta my truck an' lookin' up at the sky. There's still a hint of light, orange an' red just at ground level. I don't know why, but I almost think to text Beth an' see what she's doin'. I'd made up my mind last night that I ain't gonna watch her walk away from me. Not after she told me she don't care what I'd been hidin' from her. Said we'd get through whatever it was together. That was the exact moment I knew just how bad I needed her. Ain't nobody ever cared 'bout me so much they wanted to help me. Shit, never wanted anybody's help all my life. I blow the smoke outta my mouth an' tap the cigarette between my fingers. Ain't all that sure I want her help, or that she even can. But I know I want her to try.

The trailer door opens an' I turn to see Merle comin' down the steps. I just make out the wood in what little light's left out here. "The fuck's the bat for?"

He opens the passenger door an' gets in, settin' the bat at his feet. I drop the cigarette to the ground. Still a good bit left, but even that can't calm my ass down. I get in an' start the truck as he laughs. "I like to refer to it as The Voice of Reason. That bastard don't wanna listen to what I gotta say, I'ma let this Louisville Slugger do the talkin' for me. You can bet your ass his ears might be workin' then. Course, that's only if I feel good enough not to wanna aim for his damn skull first. Head on down the drive. I'll tell you where to go."

I start down the road an' I can already feel myself gettin' anxious again. I'd wanted this to be quick an' simple, but it's obvious Merle thinks it might go downhill. I get to the end of our drive an' he tells me to head right. I turn onto the main road an' try to clear my head. Last thing I need's to get stupid. Stupid gets you dead.

"What happened with you an' this guy, anyways?"

"Like I said, bastard owes me money."

It's real quiet in the truck for the next two miles or so. Ain't even fuckin' hot an' Merle's got his damn window down. The cold air whips 'round in the cab. Shoulda brought my leather jacket.

"Me an' you oughta go huntin' tomorrow, baby brother. Just like old times, huh?"

I glance over an' see he's actually smilin'. It's been a long ass time since we last did somethin' together that weren't goin' to the bar. I almost wanna take him up on the offer, but I'd already made plans with Beth for tomorrow. "Got shit to do tomorrow. What 'bout next weekend?"

"Shit to do? The fuck you gotta do?" After I don't answer him, he lets out a heavy sigh. "Jesus Christ. It's that scrawny little blonde, ain't it?"

"Fuck you, Merle."

"Whatever you gotta do to loosen up, boy. Get it over with so you can stop walkin' 'round the place all pissed off all the time. Nothin' like a good lay to ease the tension. 'Sides a little crystal. Maybe even a nice, fat joint?"

I see him look at me outta the corner of my eye. I don't turn to him an' he snorts. "Yeah, musta forgot. You're above that partyin' lifestyle these days. Ain't that right? What would Blondie think of the way you'd been back then?"

"Just tell me where the fuck to drive."

We don't say nothin' else to each other the whole ride there. I keep my eyes on the road an' my mouth fuckin' shut. I'd never gotten into the heavier shit Merle had. But there were plenty days where I'd sit 'round with him an' his friends smokin' pot or doin' shrooms. I'd always followed in his shadow. It's only been a few years since I'd decided it wasn't what I wanted in life. Cleaned myself up, got the job at Jim's an' ain't touched nothin' stronger than liquor since.

"Turn up on the hill. Take the road all the way back. His house's at the end."

I park behind an SUV. The guy's house is small an' I make out a swing set in the front yard. One of the swing's is broken. "This guy got kids?"

"How the hell would I know? The fuck's the big deal with you an' kids, anyways?"

I don't answer him, just follow him up the concrete steps to the front door. It's a small house, almost like Zach's, but it ain't gotta garage. There's green patches along the dirty white sidin'. Merle knocks on the door. "Pizza!"

There's a shuffle inside an' a thick accent says, "I ain't ordered no fuckin' pizza."

The man opens the door an' Merle pushes his way in. I follow an' close the door behind us. The guy drops down into a chair an' stares up at Merle like he ain't gotta fuckin' clue what to do. Merle taps the bat in his hand, then spreads his arms wide. Almost knocks down a whole shelf of crosses an' Jesus figures. "Felipe! Mì amigo! Reckon you ain't plan on seein' my ass stroll up in this dump tonight."

Felipe shakes his head. I cross my arms over my chest an' lean back against the wall. I look 'round the room an' see the inside of his house ain't nothin' like the outside. Nice leather couches an' a flat screen tv mounted on the wall. It's hard to believe he can't afford to pay Merle. Obvious he just don't wanna. I can already feel the tension in the room. He stumbles over his words.

"Merle! I told you, money's been tight. Gotta take care of my niece now that my brother's doin' time. Her mother died a few years ago. Drug overdose."

"Stop. You're breakin' my fuckin' heart."

It's obvious by the look on his face that Merle don't give a damn 'bout none of Felipe's problems. He lifts the bat an' swings, a sickenin' crack comes from the contact of wood with ribs. As the man screams in pain I step forward. Merle holds his hand up to me an' I feel my whole body tighten up. I don't move a muscle. He kneels down next to the man, now doubled over in pain. Merle shakes his head, lets out a whistle. "Holy shit. I'd be donkey licked if that weren't a break."

He stands an' lifts the bat again. "I'm only askin' you one time, you filthy fuckin' spic. Where the fuck's my money?"

I watch as the man raises his head. His breathin' sounds painful an' his face screws up, tryin' to form the words. "Second room...down the hall." He takes another agonizin' breath. "Top drawer."

Merle slaps him on the back, causin' him to jolt forward an' scream in pain. My brother heads down the hall, leavin' me alone with the man cryin' in his chair. I can't watch him. Instead, I focus on a picture hangin' up beside his head. It's a little girl with large brown eyes an' dark hair. She's holdin' a stuffed bear an' smilin' on the swing. "That your niece?"

He looks up to me, then tries to turn to where I'm lookin', but he can hardly move. I feel bad for him. "The little girl in that picture."

He nods. I look 'round the room an' realize there's even more pictures of her. Some with an older woman, some with Felipe. There's one where she's tuggin' a rope with a dog. It's obvious the guy cares 'bout that kid. "What's her name?"

For a minute he just stares up at me, holdin' onto his side. "Isabel."

I stay where I am, just lookin' him over. I think 'bout that little girl. The kinda life she's growin' up in. "She here? Now?"

He nods. "In her room. Sleepin'."

I feel my fists clench. "Think it's a good idea? Runnin' drug deals outta the house your niece sleeps in? Ain't you all she's got? Or that just some shit you said for sympathy?"

A look takes over the pain. He's upset over what I said. "The fuck," he shudders an' waits a minute. When he continues he's quieter an' speaks slowly, tryin' not to cause more pain. "The fuck you know 'bout it? You rednecks come up in my house, take my money an' then you tell me how to raise a kid?"

He spits at my feet. "Fuck you, punta."

"What'd you just say to my brother?"

Merle comes back down the hall, stuffin' a thick roll of cash in his back pocket. Felipe watches as he walks up to me. "I ain't said shit."

"That true, Daryl? My ear's fuckin' with me?"

I look back to Felipe. He's gotta sorry look on his face. Then I see that picture above his head again. I keep my voice low. "He ain't said shit, Merle. Let's go."

He gives me a dirty look. He knows I'm lyin'. For a second, I think he's gonna take that bat to my ribs. But he only shakes his head an' tells Felipe never to fuck with him again. "An' you go to the police, I'm gonna burn your fuckin' world to the ground."

He points the bat at the picture of Isabel with her bear. His voice a threatenin' snarl. "Everything an' everyone in it's gonna be ashes at your feet. Don't you ever fuckin' think I won't."

He heads out the door an' I get one last look at the fear in Felipe's eyes 'fore I follow him outside. That man ain't goin' to the police. Doubt he'll ever come up short with my brother again, either. I walk to the driver's side of my truck an' get in. We don't talk at all at first but, halfway home, the thought gets the better of me.

"You ain't really gonna hurt that little girl?"

"Jesus. Really, the fuck's up with you an' kids?"

I glare at him an' he spits out the window. "I'm plenty of things, Daryl. But I ain't no baby killer."

When we get home I drop to the couch an' take off my boots. Merle goes to the kitchen to grab a beer. I pull my phone out to check the time an' see I gotta text from Beth earlier. Hadn't even felt the thing vibrate. I open the message an' stare blankly at the screen. A baby girl's wavin' at me. Beth's lips are pressed against her cheek an' the two of 'em are covered in sunlight. I trace my thumb over the outline of Beth's face.

"Damn, boy. That was fun. Me an' you oughta do shit like that more often."

He sits down in his recliner an' takes a drink from his beer. I look over to him, clenchin' my phone tightly in my fist. "I ain't doin' that shit anymore, Merle. I'm done."

"The fuck you mean? We ain't get into no trouble, did we? Course you ain't done."

I get up an' toss my phone down in his lap. He picks it up an' looks at the picture on the screen. Looks at if for a while. "I mean it. I'm done, Merle."

He looks in my eyes an' I'm almost disgusted by the pity I see there. What little pity it is. He tosses the phone back to me an' I catch it. "You ain't told me the girl was a mama."

"Ain't her kid. That's the sheriff's baby."

Merle stands so quickly it makes me step back. "What's Blondie doin' with the sheriff's baby?"

I shrug. "Friends of the family."

Merle paces in fronta me, makin' me nervous. "You gonna screw the sheriff's babysitter? Lead that sheriff right to this house? Right to me? I got enough here to lock me up for life, jackass!"

I feel my temperature risin'. All he ever cares 'bout is hisself. "It ain't even like that. Don't worry 'bout your precious drug deals, asshole. He ain't ever gonna come 'round these parts. Not after me, he ain't."

I start to walk back to my room but Merle catches up an' grabs my arm. "You do whatever you gotta do to see to it he don't come sniffin' 'round here. You either treat Blondie like fuckin' royalty, or you walk away from her now."

I feel my shoulders hunch forward. Thinkin' of cuttin' her outta my life nearly suffocates me. The words slip quietly past my lips 'fore I can stop 'em. "I can't walk away from her."

He comes 'round to face me, but I won't look him in the eyes. Not after I've said that. He drops my arm. "Damn, boy. You're really fucked up over this girl, ain't you?"

I keep my head down. I know that I am. I can't fuckin' bring myself to let her go. Not knowin' she could go back to Jimmy or find some other guy. The thought of it eats away at me. But I don't say nothin' to him. He walks away an' opens his door, speaks over his shoulder. "Don't let that fucked up head of yours bring trouble to our door, little brother."

Then he closes the door behind him an' I'm left standin' alone in the hall. I look at her picture again an' tell myself I ain't ever gonna hurt her. Swear on my life not to. I walk into my room an' fall to the mattress. Shower can wait 'til the mornin'. I'm too fuckin' tired to get back up. I hold the phone to my chest an' fall asleep.

* * *

I wrap the towel tight 'round my waist an' open the bathroom door. The moment I step into the hallway, I slam into somethin'. It only takes a second to realize it's a half naked woman tryin' to put her shirt back on. "Watch where you're goin', ass!"

An' she's yellin' at me in my own fuckin' house. I keep my eyes up offa her bare tits an' look at her face. Brown eyes glare up at me, purple circles under her lids. Curly, brown hair falls to her shoulders. I feel my blood run cold. "The hell you doin' here, Shelly?"

She takes a step back an' I look past her head to my brother's room. That fuckin' bastard. Her small hand shoves at my chest, like I'm the one she's pissed at. "That piece of shit brother of yours called me up in the middle of the fuckin' night. Asked me to hurry over for a quick fuck."

I tighten my grip on the towel. She stomps her foot on the ground. "I came over here, fucked him into next week an' he tells me he ain't got any dope for me. Like I'd ever let that animal touch me for nothin'!"

"Flattery ain't gonna get you nowhere, Sugar Tits."

Shelly turns on the spot an' I see Merle standin' in his doorway, a big grin on his face. "I offered to pay you, woman. Get your panties outta that knot."

Her words are pure venom. "I'm not your fuckin' whore, Merle Dixon! I'm not some sleazy prostitute!"

He laughs. "Course you ain't, sweetheart. You just fuck men for drugs."

She pulls one of her spiky heels off her foot an' tosses it at him, just missin' his head. He laughs again. "That ain't nice. Reckon me an' you are done with our fun, ain't we?"

"There is no me an' you, jackass! Not anymore."

She shoves past me an' storms down the hall. I hear her knock somethin' heavy over an' imagine that'd be the tv. I look my brother in the eyes, but he quickly looks away an' shrugs. "Gettin' tired of her shit, anyways."

I walk past him as he goes back in his room an' can't fight the smile on my face. The jackass really does care 'bout me when he wants to. I grab my phone offa the charger an' text Beth to let her know I'm changin' an' I'll be there soon.

* * *

**_A/N: _Safe and Sound** **_belongs to Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars._**


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